Top five things I wish I said more often

Top five things I wish I said more often:

1) "No sex tonight honey, I'm tired from all the sex we had during the day"

2) "You shall pay for your insolence!"

3) "Your thoughts betray you Sith, your skills are no match for a true Jedi!"

4) "I don't need another raise, why don't you give that money to a charity."

5) "I'm sorry about the argument Wolverine, but there's no reason to be scared of me. Let me buy you a beer and we can talk it out."

I'm not going to apologize for wanting to be a Jedi or have Mutant powers that would scare the coolest X-man.

If I had the power to turn people into animals I bet a lot of my ex girlfriends would be goats.

Oh wait.

They already are.

Teeheeheehee

If I was the sole survivor of a xenomorph (the aliens in the Aliens movie series) attack and I had to go back to the planet where it happened, I wouldn't wait until halfway through the mission, with half of the marine escort dead, to learn how to use a pulse rifle.

If I was a star that had fallen to the earth, I would definitely fall in love with the first girl to show up, but only if she took me on the adventure of a lifetime.

If I was an assassin that had to go to my 10th high school reunion, I wouldn't forget to bring a gun, just in case a rival hitman showed up to try and take me out.

If I was in a dodge ball tournament in Vegas I wouldn't wear ass-less chaps.

If I was stuck in a hidden temple in the Arctic filled with 2 sets of extraterrestrial beings intent on annihilating each other, I'd probably have to change my pants.

If I was the owner of a record store I would not hire Jack Black. You just know he's not going to end up in retail.

If I was the buff leader of a country full of legendary warriors, I would probably wear more than a cape and a loincloth. (I'd definitely keep the cape though)

If I had to escort a hardened criminal to a train station, I wouldn't go to the closest train station. I'd go to one that was a little less obvious.

If I had to watch kids on a regular basis I would probably try to watch my language. But I'd so play LAIRE. (Live Action Interactive Roleplaying Explorers)

That's me. I have watched SO MANY movies the last few days. I can't even remember em all.

"I'm stuck in a coma,
stuck in a never ending sleep.
One day I will wake up
and realize I made up everything."