Well that's fine!

Holy crap do Hemmingway and King kinda have it right. Or do they have it write? Haha wordplay. Now, I like to think of myself as an articulate person, but for some reason this shit is so much easier after a couple of beers and having Josh pour me some shots.

Actually the last couple weeks have been pretty great for this sort of shit. Like communication. For the most part. Still, when talking to certain women it's like we're trying two different languages. But that's not too much different drunk OR sober. It's just easier to get shot down when you're trashed.

Well maybe it has nothing to do with being trashed or sober. This week has been pretty great. It's funny how inspiration and motivation come from fucking nowhere. Well more like slightly irritating cause that would be great if you could nail that down on command. But still very nice.

But usually I get motivated to do things or improve myself at work. If anyone was looking for the secret of why I stay there even though most days I hate it, here it is. There is always something that keeps me wading through all the shit, something I can get excited about or interested in. (well financial security plays a big part there too, lets be honest here) But my work/life balance has been leading towards work for the longest time. Well not so much anymore. And it feels so much better.

This week work was so crappy and pfftttttt. ( I hate how I keep track of how long it is between people crying on my line. Why does that have to be a thing?) But since I'm actually happy with the stuff going on outside of work, I can still come home smiling and humming whatever song is on my playlist when I walk in the door. The crappy part is I know it's not going to last (it never does) but damn it feels good.

But at the moment, poetry again! And working on stuff at home that isn't for work! Random drinking with people! Stupid pictures! Special lasagna! I actually slept twice this week! And stuff in the works! Stuff that might carry me on through the next couple week! Holy balls! Weird coincidences!

That's me.I peed everywhere tonight. It's a guy thing.

Samuel!

Too much spare time, or not enough?

So here is a collection of random notes and things I've been collecting for no good reason the last few weeks. There are a bazillion more (rounding up).

Tah Dah!



 

It's like watching a shark fight a bear. You have no idea how or why or what's going on but you sure want to see what happens.

Why is it that a random sexual partner for a dude is referred to as a "notch in his belt"? When I have to mess around with belt notches it means my pants might be falling down. Is that it? Random sex does have a lot to do with having your pants fall down, but it might be safer to count how many time you've had to get your junk checked out after you hook up with someone you don't know. That's harder to brag about in a conversation though.

Why does my damn ipod even give me a low battery warning when it's not a real warning. it's more just an announcement that it is 2 seconds away from turning itself off and the rest of the bus ride to work will be in silence with a side of screw you. It should warn me before I leave the goddamn house. Well that, or I should just not forget to plug it in.

Why does referring to something as "going pear shaped " mean something bad?  I'm not a huge fan of pears but I feel like in most settings a pear is usually not a negative thing. Just because the majority of my experiences have been negative doesn't mean everyone else should hate them as much as I do. Fuck pears. But still I wonder.

Music playlists called "playlist" piss me off. I'm pretty sure this violates an internal treaty I have with myself. This should not bug me but it does so much. I should probably go change that playlist name on my itunes now.

The fire station downtown has a sign that says "fire defence is self defense". But if the best defense is a good offence then how do you fight fire? With fire. So since it's time to fight fire with fire I'm going to go play with matches and bug spray to practice self defense. Don't worry, this makes no sense to me either, just roll with it.

Do robots love pizza? Do they even love? If I was a robot in disguise could I still be able to love pizza? Battlestar Galactica is making me aware of a whole host of problems that don't exist but are fun to think about.

I swear I'm not crazy, just don't ask me to prove it.

That's me. Fun times at James and Lisa's birthday party. No fires this year, but lots of new metal bands to listen to! Pretty sure it evens out there.

Sam

Just call me Pops

So in a weird turn of either coincidence or because of the bandannas I started wearing at work to keep the sweat from pouring down my face all day I have been asked by pretty much everybody I work with if I'm married or have kids. For the record I have neither.

And seriously, this guy? With kids and a wife?

If you look hard you can see the camera. If you look harder you can see my friends asking me if I'm worried about picking up herpes from the bus shelter.

Quack! This pose really shows off the creepy hair necklace I finally got rid of just recently. I need to clean my bulletin board more often.

Apparently it's tradition to steal cutlery from somebody on their birthday. Not that that was going to stop me. I like cake.

 Although according to my junk mail folder there are tons of singles in my area waiting to hook-up, and hot sexy Russian babes who want a Canadian husband. I'm not quite convinced.

However I apparently look like a family man. Was that a fat joke? Also I should apparently have a house and a mortgage and a car and pets cause that's what people with full time jobs have. I also go out on the weekends but dancing in a club is also apparently weird for people my age. I didn't think 26 was too old to get smashed with your friends and scream your heart out to songs you can't even recognize when you're sober.

Well fuck that shit. I look how I look and I have no wife or kids, I don't have a mortgage or a car and I like to get trashed with my friends at bars and check out hot girls who are out my league as well as walk up to band members who just killed a live set and try to buy them a drink. I'm pretty damn okay with that.

I try to live life how it makes sense for me, and you know what? I'm still a mature responsible adult most of the time. I'm excited about buying furniture for the apartment I'm planning on having in the fall. There's a lady at the bank who I talk to about investments and taxes and fiscal planning and other made-up words.

Although let's be honest here, there were plans for a Star Wars nook. Now the idea has been expanded since I saw some cool lord of the rings mugs and awesome Wolverine book ends. Currently I'm trying to "fiscally plan" that shit to match the living room set I have my eye on at Leon's.

As for the wife/relationship bit, well if it happens then it happens. A few weeks ago I saw this awesome list of cool ideas for a date. I'm actually doing the Plenty of Fish thing again in an attempt to actually try some of them.

And kids? Well I'd have to expand the nook. But they can't play with the toys. The toys are mine.

That's me. Sorry ladies, if you want to know the date ideas you have to ask me out. Fresh underpants, a first aid kit and the ability to have an open mind while creating what might be an great Batman story later on are also good ideas.

Spammy

Sense?

Apparently I was all Bossface Mcintimidating today. It still fucking baffles me that people can find my dumb ass scary. The only time it's justified is when my brothers are dating girls who haven't met me before. Then it's fucking fun.

If the movements of my soul are reflected in those around me, can I ever be truly alone? What pretentious tripe. Oh, but Sam, you say, that's all deep and intense. Nope. You wanna see something deep and intense I'll go kick an idiot into the grand canyon screaming the menu from Taco Bell. Lawyer'd.

I hear voices. I had hoped it was some roommates stating on the front deck, just hanging out (funny, I fully expected it even though we're rounding 2:30am) but nobody is out there. I'd like to investigate but R.Kelly might make me pee in his mouth.

hahahahahah that's what she said

I wish I could tell everybody about some crazy story involving some weird ass dating antics, but I'm all out of those. Yes really. And when people ask I get a whole of "Yeah but there's always some crazy you're not telling us about". Not this time. It's probably not good that this is a thing I'm known for. I remember when nobody believed me about the restraining order. Now it's more like "just one?" I guess trying Plenty of Fish again is out of the question.

I know the truth is more complicated, but "trees sneezing" is an awesome way to answer "What is wind?".

I have this awful tendency to get lost in my own head all the damn time. It's no wonder why I play video games and read 1000 page books. Sometimes I'd rather lose myself into something that is not me over thinking the hell out of something. Also I'd go stark raving nuts without music to listen to on the bus on walking alone.

That's me. You know that noise you make? The one where you shut the fuck up? You should do that more often.

 Sam

The last 6 days

I haven't been around for a while. This is why.

In the last 6 days I have:

-worked 42 hours (including a lot of days where I was at both jobs)

-had an awesome drunk night out with a bunch of rowdy ice cream scoopers, went to work the next morning still a bit drunk

-went to Niagara Falls to pick up my brother and have an awesome boys night out

-went to the best restaurant in the entire world, all meat and all on a stick cooked with fire, best steak and lamb I've ever had and the coolest beer glasses I've ever seen

-had Jay come visit for a few days

-sat on the porch with beer and played chess, managed to lock myself out of the house

-broke stuff while getting back into said locked house

-went book shopping with Jay, got to be giant super geeks and make a few cashiers a little uncomfortable

-went and saw 2 movies at the theatre in one night, X-men first class kicked so much ass (McAvoy and Fassbender were so awesome), Hangover 2 was just kinda meh

-got collector cups for X-men Origins

-ate 4 different kinds of hamburger and 5 different kinds of beer

-had my parents visit

-went clothes shopping for the first time in more than a year

-played with a dog

-managed to hit myself in the testicles while trying to punch my brother (not terribly proud of that bit), not happy but it was still a hilarious moment....after I was done writhing in pain

-biked for approximately 4 hours

-cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom

-did laundry

-wrote an angry email

-read about 200 pages of the White Luck Warrior, Akka is still pretty fucking wicked

-rode on a the biggest Ferris wheel I will probably ever ride on, might have seen a chick giving her boyfriend a blowjob on the gondola ahead of us (we're mostly sure)

-had Kate and her mom the landlady visit and show the house, made me miss my housemates

-discovered what the "kidnap list" was, thought about starting my own

Want to know what I did the week before? I watched 2 season of Supernatural online and worked. That was all.

That's me. I don't even have to ask, I know you're all jealous. By golly you should be. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, and that's the way it always should be.

Not as bad as you'd think.

So yeah what with the Easter weekend and just about everybody being finished with exams I got a preview of what the summer is probably going to be like. I've kinda been bitching and moaning about the fact that nobody is really going to be around and I hate being stuck here alone. Even what with all the working I'll be doing.

But this weekend....not even close to being stuck by myself, thanks to a couple random drop-ins.

Randomly had Corrine stop by, which lead to myself and her and Emmanuel making a bonfire in the barbecue in her backyard! And she helped me go all hippie and make a new hemp bracelet since my other ones fell off. So yeah there was nighttime wandering (Favourite) in the park looking for branches and sticks to burn, then there were marshmallows and guitar playing and all my clothes smelling all wood smokey and awesome. Yes I think awesome probably smells like a bonfire.

Then today I get another afternoon visit! Yup blondes just love showing up at the house when I'm alone (well just this weekend unfortunately, but a guy can hope) So we took a nice walk with Laura's dog in the off-leash park by my place and talked about poop more than most people are probably comfortable with.

And Laura's dog? Huge bully. Plus, she (the dog, not Laura.....as far as I know) doesn't play with sticks. She eats them. I discovered that during the little road trip to K-W to get a textbook from another university library. Another thing I discovered during the roadtrip? Well just watch.

Sam

Amy

Sam y

s Amy

Samy

That's what you get when you find sidewalk chalk unattended and do some light graffiti on a campus you don't belong to. You learn something new everyday.

I almost feel a little bad for having a slightly more eventftul weened than just taking my new bike out, watching How I Met Your Mother and playing LOTR online. Mostly cause I think Becca felt bad that I was going to be stuck here and so made a blog post with a bunch of funny geeky stuff for me.

But yeah I'm still probably going to be in the house alone all summer, but I'll find ways to be less lonely, so I'll try to stop complaining.


That's me. I'm not playing the dumb game where I have to do pushups for saying mike-k+n. Plus, stay tuned for next time when I discuss the aftermath of our huge blowout goodbye party. I am going to buy tissues cause I know Becca and Kate are probably going to be bawling by the end of the night.

SpAmmy

Stay awesome!

I have decided not to grow up.

It's official, and you heard it here first Internet. (please don't tell my mom though, she won't be happy). I'm 26, I have 3 jobs, and I work 6 days a week, I pay rent, phone bills, credit card bills and an osap loan. But all I really want to do is play. And not necessarily video games either! I just want to hang out with my friends and do stupid shit all the time, it's that simple.

Well ish.

I just don't want to be bored, or even worse I don't want to cause others to be bored. So I declare it here, I will never throw a wine tasting "gathering" where people discuss mortgage rates. In fact if you throw such a gathering, don't tell me because I might punch you in your baby making part(s). Or (circumstances dictating of course) I will punch your baby.

I want to always be up for a night of drinking or gambling. I want to always be excited about going to a video arcade or an amusement park full of roller coasters. If nothing else, I always want to want to listen to the music I love. Seriously I would probably be stark raving nuts without music. My music. Epic shit right here people.



I like the part where they just rock the fuck out for the last minute and a half of the song.

Have you ever been having a conversation with somebody and realize you just don't want to talk to that person anymore? For the rest of your life? I've just come to the realization that there are some people around me, that I don't really want to be around anymore. It's weird outgrowing your friends. Or people that thought they were friends with you and you thought you were friends with but really weren't due to a variety of extenuating circumstances.

I just like spending time with people who like me. Duh.

Oh speaking of awesome, I've been watching a bunch of How I Met Your Mother. Want to know how to combine a Star Wars reference with an awesomely funny t.v. show?


That's me. Turns out I will accept just about anything as long as it's a cute blonde doing the giving.

SpAmmy

P.S. I do happen to realize that when I get married and/or have children that my priorities will drastically change and the things I find fun now might not seem so wonderful later. The point is not that I want to be a gambling alcoholic when I grow up, more that I just want to keep doing stuff that I find fun and not be a boring tard later in life.

I'm pleased

My roomies are good sports. Of course I did beat up Becca on the front lawn this afternoon....right after Brad and Kate had a death match of their own. Hmmm. And I did just have to fight off a rather uncomfortable attempt to put lipstick on me. During which I might have threatened to cut somebody with a huge kitchen knife. I guess that's what I get for wandering into the kitchen and asking what everybody talking about.

Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up.

Well actually I could as I'm a pretty imaginative and inventive dude.

But still.

Everyone was just jealous cause I won my very first Settlers of Catan game ever.

You see, we pretty much moved the entire living room to our little nook outside and just hung out in the beautiful weather all afternoon/evening. It was pretty awesome.

Actually today in general was pretty awesomesauce. Actually I'm a bit apprehensive as things lately have been going about as well as they ever go for me and I waiting for the other ball to drop. But I'm definitely enjoying stuff today.

It's just nice.

Speaking of which,



That's me. I want a bike!

SpAmmy

I like pop?

Kate and Brad and Meg just sprayed water at me. I hate water droplets on my glasses, it's so goddamn annoying. Brad told me to blog about it so here I am. Bastards.

Has anybody else heard about this "couch friends" thing. Not to be confused with couch surfing, this is an event that takes place between platonic members of opposite sexes in which all involved sit on a ouch to watch television and movies. The key is it has to be platonic.

It's probably okay if you've never heard of it, I wouldn't be surprised. Chalk up another one in the weird column for the people I hang out with.

Jealous? You should be, the people I hang out with are awesomesauce. Duh. That's why I spend time with them.

Well usually awesomesauce, next time I'm not drinking by myself no matter what kind of beer pressure.(see what i did there? peer pressure/beer pressure? I'm hilarious. Man I love puns). A half glass of wine doesn't count Laura. But it was much better the next day when Amy found out she got the job she wanted. Congrats!


Get it? Couch....Friends? I hope everybody is laughing. Seriously. Pop culture references aren't my specialty.

Speaking of things I'm not good at ..... (insert some sort of crass sexual joke here you vultures) ...have you ever played the "bus" game? I'm not sure if it's ever been formalized, but I'm sure anyone who has ever taken the bus in this town on a regular basis has played, even without knowing it. Probably anyone who ever rides the bus on a reguar basis in the history of the universe has played/currently plays this game.

Ready?

The game is this: be the first to pull the bell/push the button for your stop.

That's all.

Or is it?

It's fun! But you have to be first, which is more difficult than it sounds, especially if you live on a university bus route and your bus is always packed toof the the brim everyday. No idea why the bus is so flipping busy on a Sunday at 4pm anyways.

The first rule about the bus game is you don't tak about the bus game!

The second rule of the bus games is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BUS GAME.

The third rule is you have to wait for the bus to start moving after coming to a complete stop at the bus stop before the one you want to get off at. It makes sense when I say it in my head.

Wow. Another pop culture reference. Yay for me!

More? Don't mind if I do



Anywho, I'm watching my roommates try to figure out my xbox. It's pretty funny, they accidentally turned it on and are now going through the arcade demos.

That's me. It's like watching a monkey play with Lego. Awwwww so cute.

SpAmmy