I'm on a boat!

Despite living virtually my whole life in a city that is so landlocked that people from other cities that are landlocked say "Damn! Your city is landlocked", I like being out on the water.

Being "in" the water is a different story.

But I know lots of water-related stuff, like how to scream when you're on a tube behind a boat with a lady behind the wheel who is not all that okay with you dating her daughter. Or how it's okay if you pee, cause hey, who's going to notice? Unless of course you told someone you had to pee. And then they tickled you too much and then asked how you were holding up and you said "I'm all good now, just don't go near *that* area of the water." Same day I learned about how pee is funny colors is some kinds of pools. That's science.

But I also know that you call really big boats "ships".

Other kinds of ships that are not always water related, but it's fun to think that they are.

relationships - "insert something witty here" (ha-ha that's what she said)

friendships - Yay!

workmanship - The workmanship on this ship is of high quality.

penmanship - Pen15

marksmanship -  I don't know anyone named Mark.

gunship - Pew pew!

dealership - Misleading since most dealerships deal in cars. Unless the dealership deals in actual ships. (note: upon discussion with available roommates, we decided you could call a place that sells boats a boat dealership)

And then, of course, spaceships. The best kind of ships. Also cool? Space stations.

That's no moon...

Want to know what I like on space ships? Lights.

Want to know where there are lights? Toronto.

What else is in Toronto? Rise Against and A Day To Remember.

When? In May. And I have tickets (note:not really but they are coming in the mail)

At the moment, it's pretty much what I'm living life for.

That's me. I want a spaceship. And a Chewbacca.

Sam

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone, we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.

And we have a winner...and a whiner.

So after drawing a short crappy cartoon of a sea/monster crocodile thingy eating a person this morning I decided what to use my Star Wars journal for. I'm going to try writing poetry again! I'm not sure how this is going to turn out, cause sometimes poetry is fucking hard.

Other times it's hilariously easy

Plus with a mysterious journal that I carry around and write it I can leave it very specific and planned out places for women to pick up. And if movies have taught me anything it's that when a girl you like reads your poetry (or song lyrics) she immediately gets an uncontrollable urge to blow you. That's science.

Want to know what else is science?

Breaking Bad.

Want to hear an awesome story?

Of course you do, all my stories are awesome. Or embarrassing, in which case my friends think they are awesome and my brothers get ideas of what they're going to say at my wedding reception. (at this point it'll probably be at an all you can buffet in Vegas after getting drunk and hooking up with a stripper).

Anyways so our friend Cow (the dude who was living with us from France) unfortunately left just before Christmas to continue his travels and hopefully open up his repertoire of lame physical comedy. We miss his dumb ass already.

So the sneaky bastard hid a present for all of us (his roommates) in his old closet. I'm assuming he guessed that whoever took over his room would move the basket in his closet and find what he left. And damn I was super impressed by the deviousness of the plan. He got us the first season of Breaking Bad, a show I don't think anybody had really watched but that we knew he liked a lot. Dammit I wish he around to watch it with now. It's super awesome, but really dark and kinda funny in weird ways. I'm really into it.

Oh and speaking of roommates, duh. We have a new one! It's Katie (not to be confused with Kate). She actually Lived with a bunch of other friends of ours last year. So we're sure she's not some unknown degenerate serial killer....so far.

That's me. Titles don't mean much to me anymore.

Your friendly, neighbourhood SPIDER-SAM

I like to watch

Okay so I had a great time watching my neighbours go full on white trash last week. Actually I'm always a fan of watching couples fight in public....cause it's not me.

Except this one time it was.

I got into a huge fight with the girl I dated in High School in the middle of a Dairy Queen. It was actually the "break up" fight. Ish. We kinda hooked up a few times after that, but the DQ incident was the end of the romantic relationship (much to the delight of friends and family). Like all stupid public fight between couples it started as something small and then snowballed to the point of no return.

Also, didn't even get any ice cream.

I like to try to diffuse a situation with humor...sometimes it doesn't go so well.

She didn't think it was funny.

So there! I've been on the other end of a couple yelling at each other in a  public place...but I still think it's fun to watch. Again, when it's not me.

HEY LOOK AN ABRUPT SUBJECT CHANGE!

HOLY SHIT! WHERE?

Never mind it's gone already.

So one of my awesome Christmas present was a Star Wars notebook. But not like a 6 year old's activity book, like a real hardcover journal type thing. It's fucking awesome.

(By the way I have so much star wars shit now that I need some kind of Star Wars nook to display it all)

But I'm scared to fucking use the thing.

I have a couple notebooks filled with short story ideas and blog notes and such, but all those are dollar store crap. I'm a bit uncomfortable with writing down bad jokes or cool date ideas in something so awesome. Not that the person who gave it to me would mind (She lives with the biggest joke I know). I'd love to bring it to work, but there's not a lot of downtime and I prefer to read when I'm on my break. Besides, the environment isn't exactly "star wars journal" friendly.

I hate brushing my teeth too.

 I need to find a use for it that is equal to it's awesomeness. 

Cookbook? Yeah I got nothing yet.

That's me. Dammit I really want a fucking Star Wars nook.

Professor Smoosh

Stay awesome!

I have decided not to grow up.

It's official, and you heard it here first Internet. (please don't tell my mom though, she won't be happy). I'm 26, I have 3 jobs, and I work 6 days a week, I pay rent, phone bills, credit card bills and an osap loan. But all I really want to do is play. And not necessarily video games either! I just want to hang out with my friends and do stupid shit all the time, it's that simple.

Well ish.

I just don't want to be bored, or even worse I don't want to cause others to be bored. So I declare it here, I will never throw a wine tasting "gathering" where people discuss mortgage rates. In fact if you throw such a gathering, don't tell me because I might punch you in your baby making part(s). Or (circumstances dictating of course) I will punch your baby.

I want to always be up for a night of drinking or gambling. I want to always be excited about going to a video arcade or an amusement park full of roller coasters. If nothing else, I always want to want to listen to the music I love. Seriously I would probably be stark raving nuts without music. My music. Epic shit right here people.



I like the part where they just rock the fuck out for the last minute and a half of the song.

Have you ever been having a conversation with somebody and realize you just don't want to talk to that person anymore? For the rest of your life? I've just come to the realization that there are some people around me, that I don't really want to be around anymore. It's weird outgrowing your friends. Or people that thought they were friends with you and you thought you were friends with but really weren't due to a variety of extenuating circumstances.

I just like spending time with people who like me. Duh.

Oh speaking of awesome, I've been watching a bunch of How I Met Your Mother. Want to know how to combine a Star Wars reference with an awesomely funny t.v. show?


That's me. Turns out I will accept just about anything as long as it's a cute blonde doing the giving.

SpAmmy

P.S. I do happen to realize that when I get married and/or have children that my priorities will drastically change and the things I find fun now might not seem so wonderful later. The point is not that I want to be a gambling alcoholic when I grow up, more that I just want to keep doing stuff that I find fun and not be a boring tard later in life.

I like pop?

Kate and Brad and Meg just sprayed water at me. I hate water droplets on my glasses, it's so goddamn annoying. Brad told me to blog about it so here I am. Bastards.

Has anybody else heard about this "couch friends" thing. Not to be confused with couch surfing, this is an event that takes place between platonic members of opposite sexes in which all involved sit on a ouch to watch television and movies. The key is it has to be platonic.

It's probably okay if you've never heard of it, I wouldn't be surprised. Chalk up another one in the weird column for the people I hang out with.

Jealous? You should be, the people I hang out with are awesomesauce. Duh. That's why I spend time with them.

Well usually awesomesauce, next time I'm not drinking by myself no matter what kind of beer pressure.(see what i did there? peer pressure/beer pressure? I'm hilarious. Man I love puns). A half glass of wine doesn't count Laura. But it was much better the next day when Amy found out she got the job she wanted. Congrats!


Get it? Couch....Friends? I hope everybody is laughing. Seriously. Pop culture references aren't my specialty.

Speaking of things I'm not good at ..... (insert some sort of crass sexual joke here you vultures) ...have you ever played the "bus" game? I'm not sure if it's ever been formalized, but I'm sure anyone who has ever taken the bus in this town on a regular basis has played, even without knowing it. Probably anyone who ever rides the bus on a reguar basis in the history of the universe has played/currently plays this game.

Ready?

The game is this: be the first to pull the bell/push the button for your stop.

That's all.

Or is it?

It's fun! But you have to be first, which is more difficult than it sounds, especially if you live on a university bus route and your bus is always packed toof the the brim everyday. No idea why the bus is so flipping busy on a Sunday at 4pm anyways.

The first rule about the bus game is you don't tak about the bus game!

The second rule of the bus games is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BUS GAME.

The third rule is you have to wait for the bus to start moving after coming to a complete stop at the bus stop before the one you want to get off at. It makes sense when I say it in my head.

Wow. Another pop culture reference. Yay for me!

More? Don't mind if I do



Anywho, I'm watching my roommates try to figure out my xbox. It's pretty funny, they accidentally turned it on and are now going through the arcade demos.

That's me. It's like watching a monkey play with Lego. Awwwww so cute.

SpAmmy