Too much spare time, or not enough?

So here is a collection of random notes and things I've been collecting for no good reason the last few weeks. There are a bazillion more (rounding up).

Tah Dah!



 

It's like watching a shark fight a bear. You have no idea how or why or what's going on but you sure want to see what happens.

Why is it that a random sexual partner for a dude is referred to as a "notch in his belt"? When I have to mess around with belt notches it means my pants might be falling down. Is that it? Random sex does have a lot to do with having your pants fall down, but it might be safer to count how many time you've had to get your junk checked out after you hook up with someone you don't know. That's harder to brag about in a conversation though.

Why does my damn ipod even give me a low battery warning when it's not a real warning. it's more just an announcement that it is 2 seconds away from turning itself off and the rest of the bus ride to work will be in silence with a side of screw you. It should warn me before I leave the goddamn house. Well that, or I should just not forget to plug it in.

Why does referring to something as "going pear shaped " mean something bad?  I'm not a huge fan of pears but I feel like in most settings a pear is usually not a negative thing. Just because the majority of my experiences have been negative doesn't mean everyone else should hate them as much as I do. Fuck pears. But still I wonder.

Music playlists called "playlist" piss me off. I'm pretty sure this violates an internal treaty I have with myself. This should not bug me but it does so much. I should probably go change that playlist name on my itunes now.

The fire station downtown has a sign that says "fire defence is self defense". But if the best defense is a good offence then how do you fight fire? With fire. So since it's time to fight fire with fire I'm going to go play with matches and bug spray to practice self defense. Don't worry, this makes no sense to me either, just roll with it.

Do robots love pizza? Do they even love? If I was a robot in disguise could I still be able to love pizza? Battlestar Galactica is making me aware of a whole host of problems that don't exist but are fun to think about.

I swear I'm not crazy, just don't ask me to prove it.

That's me. Fun times at James and Lisa's birthday party. No fires this year, but lots of new metal bands to listen to! Pretty sure it evens out there.

Sam

My imagination goes wild when I walk home

Sometimes I listen music on YouTube. Sometimes I listen to music on iTunes. Today for some reason I had both open. I wanted to turn down the volume on my music to watch a YouTube video. I turned the volume on YouTube down.

Turns out that, along with friends and random people searching for funny pictures, some people I don't like read this blog. No clue why. But here's a shout out: Fuck you enemies!

I'm pretty indifferent about the weather, but I'm pretty sure most of the time I prefer snow to rain.

Get back to work!

Sometimes I hear people say "Well you can't blame them for trying."  Well of course you fucking can. You can blame anybody for anything as long as you can justify it (to yourself). Watch this. Right now, at this very moment, I'm going to blame George Lucas for trying to make his prequel Star Wars trilogy better than his original Star Wars trilogy.

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There we go, I just blamed him for trying. Fucking Gunguns.

The other day I was waiting for a city bus, and a school bus pulled up to the stop. Because of traffic the school bus was stopped there for a while. Some kids waved at me, so I waved back. The kids gave me the peace sign. So I gave them the peace sign back. The kids made faces at me, so I made faces back. At that point I decided I was probably being fucking creepy and I should stop. Even though it probably made some kid's day, I bet some 10 year old went home and told his parents how a guy at a bus stop was making faces at him and his buddies.

I swear to god I nearly wet myself when I saw the movie trailer for the Hobbit. Probably in the exact same way I nearly wet myself the first time I saw a trailer for the Lord of the Rings.

I did both!

My roommate is in Israel right now. For the last week or so I've been coming up with ways to convince her that we're letting a homeless dude stay in her room while she's gone. But she's not gullible enough so she'd never buy it. then I though about just actually letting a homeless dude use her room while she's away, but those ideas were just as unreasonable.

I've been walking home from work at night (goddamn new bus system) and last night I saw deer. The more I think about it it was probably the same motherfucking animal I hit on my bike. And by "hit on my bike" I mean trying to die by throwing itself in front of my bicycle. Which is everybody's favorite story for some reason.

I read a whole helluva lot. But it's kinda funny, when I'm browsing funny pictures online I read the captions in different voices. When I read books I don't read the words out loud in my head. I don't understand my own brain sometimes. Also, I don't get funny cat pictures. I love cats, I understand why the pictures are supposed to be funny...but most of the time I can't even crack a smile.

Okay that's it. I'm done.

That's me.

Professor Spammy

Notes

I tend to take a bunch of random notes, usually when I'm bored at work, about stuff I want to write about. It can be just about anything, usually point form, and I always have the intention of writing a little blurb when I get home so I don't forget the reason/context for whatever it was that I wanted to remember.

Unfortunately this doesn't always happen.

Sometimes I just don't feel like blogging, and don't even get me started on my "real" writing career at the moment. Well today while I was doing a little cleaning (GASP! SHOCK! AWE! Yes I am a dude who picks up after himself...ish) I found a stash of notes I've made. No idea what they're all about, but I figure you people might like the insight to the mind of a genius.


So you believe her? - most likely something to do about one of the stupid decisions I've made about the opposite sex

Yeah I think she's hot too. - same deal

I'd kill - slightly worried at the kind of day I would have been having

Misinterpretation - waaayyy too broad to narrow down

The accent overpowers the acquaintance - I think I was trying to complain about the lady with the British accent who tried to sell me homeowners insurance after I told her I don't own a home. Very poetic that day apparently.

Configure the pun- I love puns!

Morals blow - I think I was drunk for this one, there is little drawing of a beer beside it.

Must you compare - I think I might have been working in produce, you know apples and oranges...

Sore sack - this was either the day after I bought the bicycle, or when I visited mum and dad's and Jay took a serious shot at my nuts. Both days were slightly unpleasant.

A quest! - again, so much it could apply to. Edgefest maybe? I do try to go on quests on a regular basis.

Gigglefucker - I bet someone was giggling and I thought that person was a fucker

Purchase the moon - I think this was the first really nice night we had, I vaguely remember the moon being full.

The plans are complete! - I'm not sure, unless it refers to a "diabolical" plan, but I haven't come up with any of those since last summer.

Puzzling Pizza - this one might have been when Becca and Kate ordered vegetarian pizza and I liked it even though there were no dead animals on it

Snarflefit - obviously a discussion on the world economic climate, also a little doodle of what I believe might actually be a Snarflefit...or Godzilla maybe?

Even I don't know what goes though my head sometimes.

Here is an example of how you turn crappy music into awesome.



That's me. I can't sleep, so here we are. Aren't you lucky.

SpAmmy