Happy something something

Happy 2013 all.

Here is a list of stuff I want to do in 2013. New Years resolutions are kinda like asking Santa for presents that last a whole year. It's also similar to Santa as instead of cool Star Wars junk just magically appearing in my bedroom, someone has to go out and get the stuff. Hint: this time that someone is me. So here is a list of stuff I want that I have to get myself (which is sorta bullshit, so exactly like Santa)

I want to take over the world. However I feel like that would involve way too much paperwork and I loathe paperwork with the intensity I usually reserve for people who feel the need to comment when my socks don't match.

Instead my first resolution is to bother my brother by posting a bunch of funny pictures of unicorns on his facebook wall. In case there is confusion I should let you know that my brother is a unicorn. Hopefully I cleared that right up.



Muahahahahahahahaha
 

I want superpowers. I want them so bad you have no idea. If a genie granted me 3 wishes that's the first one. Kinda controversial since most people would be all "Dude! World peace!" to which I would reply "Umm nope." If I had superpowers I would be a super villain and world peace would just cancel out my bad-guy ness. This would also help with the whole ruler of the planet thing too. So win/win as far as I am concerned (for me, not for the planet so much). However exhaustive research proves we are a long way away from superpowers. So I'm slightly fucked here.

Instead what I would is to feel like I have superpowers more often. I got a Dark Jedi bathrobe for Christmas and I am of the opinion that this is a wonderful start, because I really do feel like a bad ass when I'm stalking my roommate's cats wearing it and they run away in fear.

So my next resolution is to buy more clothes that make me feel like a bad ass.



You em bear ass me. YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF.

I like to write, but I don't really do it much anymore for fun. I mean I write at work all the damn time but that's all numbers and explanations and the odd doodle on the communication board in the oven room that looks like the both the ovens has come alive and is eating people. But stuff might be slowing down a tiny bit and I've stopped doing all the overtime that was driving me crazy for the last few months

So yeah, nothing clever and misleading, my last New Year's resolution is to just write more. I miss it.

That's me. Resolutions? ME?? What are you implying? That I need change?? Well buddy as far as I am concerned I am PERFECT the way I am! - Calvin and Hobbes

Sam



P.S. I should probably mention that I had a great New Year's even with a whole bunch of strangers. My orginal plans fell through and ended up just hanging out at home with a whole bunch of people my roommate had over. It was awesome! Even if Jay was there too. Cards Against Humanity may be the best party game ever made. Shout out to all those people that helped make my night awesome :)

Seemed like a good idea...

I feel like shit.

It's that time of year again where everyone gets sick and everyone else gets to hear them bitch about it. And who needs to run errands anyway? Especially given how exhausted I got just throwing my blankets off of me and stumbling the 4 ft to the bathroom to throw up.

Also, the beer last night probably didn't help. But when you live with a French dude for a few months, and he's leaving in a matter of days, you have to get shitfaced and make fun of him and make sure he remembers how awesome Canadian beer is. It's in the rules.

This makes perfect sense to me.

Oh and of course I have to share the news. I did get an email back from that young women that I spent a rather excellent Wednesday morning with.

Turns out she saw my blog link on Facebook....and was not terribly happy about it. But to be fair, I post all my blog entries on my wall, and I was kinda hoping she'd read the thing. Because when you don't return my phone calls how else am I supposed to let you know how I feel.

Also, definitely bragging.

Furthermore, since I didn't mention her name I was kinda hoping I wasn't going to get in as much shit as I did. But hey, seemed like a good idea at the time, and what the fuck am I even doing with a blog if I'm going to (MOTHERFUCKING TEDDY BEAR LOVING CUNT) self-censor. She's a literature major, she should understand.

But yeah awkward Facebook messages have punctuated virtually every single relationship I've had, this was no different. She's not that sure but she might be interested. I'm...not? Turns out even dragon slaying fantasy book geeks can be picky too.

I was doing her a favor by helping her out with some ex-landlord issues, but we weren't really friends. It was more like a chance to see if I could still pull off the stuff I went to school for. And turns out I can.

Honestly a lot of it mostly comes down to the fact that my Jay, Josh and Meg would eat her fucking alive. Family means a lot to me. I think my roommates would be mostly nice to just be polite, but they would probably not get along with her too.

Of course there's more to it than that, but there's a difference between not self censoring and baring your entire heart and soul online. Even if sometimes I sound like an angsty 13 year old on livejournal.

Funny story though, after I posted that and a few friends read about it I got more knocks on my bedroom door and fist bumps then I knew what to do with.

Even if the girls didn't like the Sam-flavored chicken fingers comment. Screw that. I'm hilarious.

That's me.  Hopped up on over the counter cough medications and waiting for another slightly angry email.

Spammy