Don't call me a gamer anymore

Well dammit I never thought this was going to happen.

Admitting my problem, I mean.

I've been fighting it off for a while, but I think it's time to finally announce it to the world.

I am a casual video game enjoyer. Not a Gamer. Not anymore.

Oh the shame and agony! Old Spammy would be so disappointed! Of course old Spammy was a pussy-whipped little bitch... so we don't really give a shit what he would think. But dammit, admitting this still makes me feel uncomfortable.

I was the king... nay... I was the motherfucking emperor of the original NES my brothers and I had growing up. Then there was the SNES and I rocked the shit all over that as well. I whomped the ever-loving mayonnaise outta the N64. Oh and my PlayStation 2...my baby...so many hours ruling the universe from the comfort of my parent's basement.

Yes! Now give me back my childhood you son of a bitch!

But now? Well not so much. I've tried and tried, I had all the "must buy" games for my Xbox360 and at the moment I'm playing some of the most critically acclaimed games specifically designed for any geek who has ever picked up a game controller... and I'm not really into it anymore.

Dammit I'm playing Skyrim right now. SKYRIM. The whole point of the game is to kill motherfucking dragons and use their souls to fuel powers that make the gods tremble... and just this last weekend I realized I'm bored and just trying to finish the story so I know what happens.

Damn it, I'm so embarrassed.

Also worried. I don't really have a lot of what people call "skills". At least once upon a time all the hours I put into sitting by myself in a basement transferred a certain level of respectability, at least in my own mind and in the minds of other gamers. Now what?

Even just as recently as last year I remember playing Fallout 3 and Mass Effect 2 in the living room while fielding questions, comments and thinly veiled insults from my housemates. Trying to explain to Becca and Kate why everyone in a fictional universe was trying to kill me usually didn't go so well. I also recall Meg one time making some scathing comment about how "it's just stupid stuff only dumb boys can understand". Not that she was all that wrong, mind you. Who would want to give that up?  Me I guess.

It's not like I'm going to stop playing video games. I just can't take them as seriously anymore. Still a great way for me to relax and blow off a little steam. Just not as often.

Oh and funny story (also blatant observation from a friend). The last year or 2 is when my love for videos games started to seriously decline. That's also when I started collecting my plethora of wierd dating stories.

Coincidence? Maybe not.

That's me. Let's go collect some more!

Spammy

I declare today wierd.

I have recently realized that I don't have a good way to blow off steam anymore. Life got slightly frustrating this week and I didn't do anything specific to make myself feel better. But witty banter and smart ass housemates help, as well as turning the lights off and plugging in to awesome music.

I wonder if I need to start playing video games again? I've tried really hard but I have no real desire to play the Xbox anymore. It's amazing how a full-time job, chores and a social life really fill up a week. It's probably weird and sad that it's taken me so long to realize this.

I have attempted to start storyboarding,worldbuilding and researching again, but the usual slow going process is down to a crawl. I think I might just focus on blogging again, and just wait and see how things go in other arenas.

So today I got the day off work because working in an oven room is hot, but today it would have been "Oh god, oh god we're all going to die!" hot. But a funny thing happened while I was sitting in the living room trying not to become a puddle. Around the time I usually go to work I got really really anxious and restless. It was only after I had decided to go to the drug store to pick up some gatorade that I realized it was probably the fact that I hadn't got on the bike. I felt 10 times better after I got home. Weird. I ride that bike everyday, but didn't realize it was having that kind of an effect on me. I've been thinking about leaving for work a bit early so I can ride around even longer.

Have you ever heard to this place called Panda Express? For some reason I hadn't before today. Naturally this is what came to mind.

Pretty reasonable idea right? Turns out I was wrong. Not like that's never happened before.

Don't tell my housemates this (of course saying this means they will all be reading this now) but Aubz and Cow put on "She's the man" a few nights ago. I laughed. In doing so I think I died a little inside, I don't know why, but I guess I find that movie slightly amusing. Tampon to stop a nosebleed....slightly more awesome than it should be. I used to hate this movie, but the crowning moment was when I said "What, you've never done that before" in casual conversation earlier.

And don't even get me started on 500 days of summer.

I'm going to go watch the Underworld movies now. At least I understand why I like those movies.

So things are just plain weird lately.

That's me. I think I kinda like it like that.

SpAmmy