So...we meet again.

So brain, we meet again. I'd like to know math again, but I refuse to give up drinking so we need to come to some sort of compromise on that. Also some sleep would be nice. And that thing we do where we get caught checking out women? Cut down on that.

I saw a job post for a laser operator on kijiji this week and thought "holy crap this is the job for me"! Hell I already make laser noises at cats on a regular basis and half of all the posters I own are Star Wars ones. This shit should be right up my alley, except for one thing: all my real life experience with lasers is imaginary, so I doubt I'd be as good with a real one. But hell if there's one thing I'm good at it's daydreaming. Some days I want to feel like a terminator with a laser gun, is that too much to ask?

The best weekend of the summer by far and away was the Heavy TO heavy metal concert festival that I went to. Some of my all time favorite bands played some of my all time favorite songs. I'm not going to lie, I cried. Twice. I even learned some things:

1) I inadvertently called concert merchandise "band swag". This irritates the hell out of some people. (So I kept doing it)

2) Apparently metal really is all ages. There were strollers. (kids had on industrial grade ear protection though, go responsible parents!) Hell, a pair of 10 years olds got dragged on stage by the lead singer of Five Finger Death Punch and headbanged better than most of the crowd.

3) I can get starstruck. I would have never thought. We hung out in the Jager tent area when Killswitch Engage was signing autographs. The group of us hung out there for an hour. I stared and then tried to play it off like I wasn't staring. I even thought about getting in the huge line-up, but if I actually got up to a band I've loved for 10 years I'm pretty sure I would have fainted. Oh and they played a killer set.

4) It seems as though I can get the best night of sleep I've had all damn year on a single tiny blowup mattress in the corner of a damp tent. Even trains passing right by the campgrounds didn't even phase me. I slept like a happy, slightly drunk, wet, tired baby. (which may be the best band name ever..imagine: " WEEEE AREEEE THE DRUNK! TIRED! BAAAABBBIIIIEEEESSSSS!")

5) Starting a fire with wet wood only requires one thing. Bug spray. Of course said bug spray may disappear off into the night and 6 people might spend the next day looking for it and not being able to find the stuff. Thank you bug spray... wherever you are.

My hands were stuck like that for days!

I moved out of the house I've been living in the past 2 years. And even though it wasn't going to be the same with almost of people I like not going to be living there this year, I still didn't have an easy time of it. The new place does have it's perks and I think I'll be just fine, I'm still going to miss the place. But my happiness there was more about the people I was with and I'm damn sure not going to stop seeing them just because we all don't live together anymore.

I was talking to a dude at the comic book store who is so pumped for another world war that I'm pretty sure he's going to offer to start one himself if there isn't one by Christmas. Which is absolutely ridiculous. Everyone knows that the next "world war" is going to be the computer/machine/matrix uprising.

That's where all those laser operators are going to come in real handy.

That's me. Free time is for the weak! Tomorrow, pillows!

Sam

My imagination goes wild when I walk home

Sometimes I listen music on YouTube. Sometimes I listen to music on iTunes. Today for some reason I had both open. I wanted to turn down the volume on my music to watch a YouTube video. I turned the volume on YouTube down.

Turns out that, along with friends and random people searching for funny pictures, some people I don't like read this blog. No clue why. But here's a shout out: Fuck you enemies!

I'm pretty indifferent about the weather, but I'm pretty sure most of the time I prefer snow to rain.

Get back to work!

Sometimes I hear people say "Well you can't blame them for trying."  Well of course you fucking can. You can blame anybody for anything as long as you can justify it (to yourself). Watch this. Right now, at this very moment, I'm going to blame George Lucas for trying to make his prequel Star Wars trilogy better than his original Star Wars trilogy.

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There we go, I just blamed him for trying. Fucking Gunguns.

The other day I was waiting for a city bus, and a school bus pulled up to the stop. Because of traffic the school bus was stopped there for a while. Some kids waved at me, so I waved back. The kids gave me the peace sign. So I gave them the peace sign back. The kids made faces at me, so I made faces back. At that point I decided I was probably being fucking creepy and I should stop. Even though it probably made some kid's day, I bet some 10 year old went home and told his parents how a guy at a bus stop was making faces at him and his buddies.

I swear to god I nearly wet myself when I saw the movie trailer for the Hobbit. Probably in the exact same way I nearly wet myself the first time I saw a trailer for the Lord of the Rings.

I did both!

My roommate is in Israel right now. For the last week or so I've been coming up with ways to convince her that we're letting a homeless dude stay in her room while she's gone. But she's not gullible enough so she'd never buy it. then I though about just actually letting a homeless dude use her room while she's away, but those ideas were just as unreasonable.

I've been walking home from work at night (goddamn new bus system) and last night I saw deer. The more I think about it it was probably the same motherfucking animal I hit on my bike. And by "hit on my bike" I mean trying to die by throwing itself in front of my bicycle. Which is everybody's favorite story for some reason.

I read a whole helluva lot. But it's kinda funny, when I'm browsing funny pictures online I read the captions in different voices. When I read books I don't read the words out loud in my head. I don't understand my own brain sometimes. Also, I don't get funny cat pictures. I love cats, I understand why the pictures are supposed to be funny...but most of the time I can't even crack a smile.

Okay that's it. I'm done.

That's me.

Professor Spammy

I changed my mind.

So I started writing this "great" post that pretty much just listed off all the stupid things I have done this week.

....and then after I hit 20 or so I decided that this week kinda sucked and my list didn't make me terribly happy.

So instead, here I went and found a picture of a hotdog who is awesome.


This is an awesome hotdog (who definitely did NOT make an ass of himself all week like I did).

His name is Barry. He escaped from a hotdog factory by showing raunchy promotional pictures of that time those Victoria Secret models toured the hotdog making factory and took turns teasing the underpaid illegal aliens (and the employees HEY-OH, but seriously Martians need love too). He then came to visit my blog for a day and be awesome. In that order.

So this week wasn't ALL bad. Just a variety of work-related issues that were more silly than anything else.

But in the"is Sam ever going to touch a boob again" category I found this dude on YouTube who casts commentaries of Dawn of War 2 games. So yeah. So I'm still a geek. I did stop playing Lord Of The Rings online after a very unsatisfactory argument about my credit card information though. As in they made a mistake and I told them to get rid of my info, and they didn't want to. Weird huh?

Oh and I had Plenty of Fish date! Kinda. Well I was supposed to, anyway. I got cancelled on again. So since this is the third or fourth time this has happened, I kinda think that'll be it for my second attempt at finding the woman of my dreams online. Plus I'll have more time to watch video-game commentary online!

So besides all that junk, I've just been keeping busy, going out on my bike, reading and attempting to spend time with friends. Nothing special. Still kinda bored.

That's me. Trying to make new nicknames stick is harder than you'd think.

SpAmmy