Well that was something.

So apparently this weekend I had an unconscious desire to embarrass myself. I mean I knew I was going to get trashed, but not "pass out on a couch in the middle of the party and and then pick a bed get rolled off said bed and almost kick a bunch of people in the face while I'm sleeping in the middle of a bedroom floor" trashed. Somehow I did manage to snag a pillow though.

Nice move, drunken Sam, nice move.

Seeing Bird and Aubz, who I haven't seen in months, and motherfucking Chotchy who I haven't seen in a year, was great! And I am a big fan of randomly wandering Toronto. I'm looking forward to the pictures.

Alas I've had an all day hangover. Blargh. But my own damn fault. But still. Blargh.

Know what makes me feel better? I mean besides the awesome weekend catching up with people, making fun of emotional speeches, a Lt. Commander Worf action figure and more booze than is reasonable for a person to consume?

The realization that I can always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

The one on the left, totally fake. The one on the right is real, but only a stunt fill-in so he isn't credited.

So I really really really want to leave Guelph and move away somewhere. I want to so bad it's only a little bit funny. Getting up and leaving and doing some goddamn adventuring, maybe meeting strangers in a hostel and later escaping them in mad dash in a strange city in an attempt to keep my kidneys and my slightly used (but pretty damn important) liver in a terror fueled adrenaline rush in a story nobody would ever believe.

You know, fun.

But I can't. And it pisses me off so much. Fuck you, life. Apartment hunting blows.

In the meantime there are some changes happening at work....but I'm not going to get my hopes up that things will get any better. I just can't leave. I wish it was for a good reason, like superpowers, but it's not. It's cause I don't like being fucking broke. I have to get this damn student loan paid off. At that point, when I'm not giving away most of a paycheck every month to the government, I can just take off. But that's going to be like another year, year and a half. So fuck that shit. I just have to work less overtime. Except that if I work more overtime that's more money to pay off my osap. It's a vicious cycle.

Damn it all. I want to plane ride somewhere!

However I do still get to be me though, and that's okay.

Bwaahahahahahah, it's funny if you saw the movie.

I just have to be happy when I'm not at work. So weekends. Probably for the best if less passing out is involved in the future. But just as many friends.

And hey, maybe this way I can finally get a cat. Or 2! And have them fight over my affections like I'm some sort of twisted ruler of the universe!

That's me. I'm sorry life, maybe we can try to fulfill our hopes and dreams next year?

Sam

Do it!

You ever try to apologize for something stupid that happened that wasn't your fault but you feel like you should explain yourself and apologize anyway? Damn but I tried and it didn't happen. Which is kinda weird cause I'm usually pretty good at embarrassing myself...but could not bring myself to do it.

Lately I feel like I'm waiting for something. But not anything specific I just have this weird feeling of anticipation.

I hurt my foot at work this week. As everyone knows ERs are not fun. I'm pretty frustrated with it. It turns out that I'm going to be dealing with chronic foot pain. I have a standing prescription for anti-inflammation medicine and have to whole list of things to keep on top of. It's definitely manageable. But it blows as just as I'm starting to get comfortable with the new job I have this bullshit to deal with.

Applesnarfritz.

Advice from the master.

I'm pretty terrible at keeping in contact with people. Just in general. I think it's something I'd like to work on. Hell, maybe I'll even start tonight.

That's me. Being able to light your hand on fire and bitchslap some douchefucker would be awesome. Flaming bitchslap.Nice.


Sam

I like to watch

Okay so I had a great time watching my neighbours go full on white trash last week. Actually I'm always a fan of watching couples fight in public....cause it's not me.

Except this one time it was.

I got into a huge fight with the girl I dated in High School in the middle of a Dairy Queen. It was actually the "break up" fight. Ish. We kinda hooked up a few times after that, but the DQ incident was the end of the romantic relationship (much to the delight of friends and family). Like all stupid public fight between couples it started as something small and then snowballed to the point of no return.

Also, didn't even get any ice cream.

I like to try to diffuse a situation with humor...sometimes it doesn't go so well.

She didn't think it was funny.

So there! I've been on the other end of a couple yelling at each other in a  public place...but I still think it's fun to watch. Again, when it's not me.

HEY LOOK AN ABRUPT SUBJECT CHANGE!

HOLY SHIT! WHERE?

Never mind it's gone already.

So one of my awesome Christmas present was a Star Wars notebook. But not like a 6 year old's activity book, like a real hardcover journal type thing. It's fucking awesome.

(By the way I have so much star wars shit now that I need some kind of Star Wars nook to display it all)

But I'm scared to fucking use the thing.

I have a couple notebooks filled with short story ideas and blog notes and such, but all those are dollar store crap. I'm a bit uncomfortable with writing down bad jokes or cool date ideas in something so awesome. Not that the person who gave it to me would mind (She lives with the biggest joke I know). I'd love to bring it to work, but there's not a lot of downtime and I prefer to read when I'm on my break. Besides, the environment isn't exactly "star wars journal" friendly.

I hate brushing my teeth too.

 I need to find a use for it that is equal to it's awesomeness. 

Cookbook? Yeah I got nothing yet.

That's me. Dammit I really want a fucking Star Wars nook.

Professor Smoosh

Don't call me a gamer anymore

Well dammit I never thought this was going to happen.

Admitting my problem, I mean.

I've been fighting it off for a while, but I think it's time to finally announce it to the world.

I am a casual video game enjoyer. Not a Gamer. Not anymore.

Oh the shame and agony! Old Spammy would be so disappointed! Of course old Spammy was a pussy-whipped little bitch... so we don't really give a shit what he would think. But dammit, admitting this still makes me feel uncomfortable.

I was the king... nay... I was the motherfucking emperor of the original NES my brothers and I had growing up. Then there was the SNES and I rocked the shit all over that as well. I whomped the ever-loving mayonnaise outta the N64. Oh and my PlayStation 2...my baby...so many hours ruling the universe from the comfort of my parent's basement.

Yes! Now give me back my childhood you son of a bitch!

But now? Well not so much. I've tried and tried, I had all the "must buy" games for my Xbox360 and at the moment I'm playing some of the most critically acclaimed games specifically designed for any geek who has ever picked up a game controller... and I'm not really into it anymore.

Dammit I'm playing Skyrim right now. SKYRIM. The whole point of the game is to kill motherfucking dragons and use their souls to fuel powers that make the gods tremble... and just this last weekend I realized I'm bored and just trying to finish the story so I know what happens.

Damn it, I'm so embarrassed.

Also worried. I don't really have a lot of what people call "skills". At least once upon a time all the hours I put into sitting by myself in a basement transferred a certain level of respectability, at least in my own mind and in the minds of other gamers. Now what?

Even just as recently as last year I remember playing Fallout 3 and Mass Effect 2 in the living room while fielding questions, comments and thinly veiled insults from my housemates. Trying to explain to Becca and Kate why everyone in a fictional universe was trying to kill me usually didn't go so well. I also recall Meg one time making some scathing comment about how "it's just stupid stuff only dumb boys can understand". Not that she was all that wrong, mind you. Who would want to give that up?  Me I guess.

It's not like I'm going to stop playing video games. I just can't take them as seriously anymore. Still a great way for me to relax and blow off a little steam. Just not as often.

Oh and funny story (also blatant observation from a friend). The last year or 2 is when my love for videos games started to seriously decline. That's also when I started collecting my plethora of wierd dating stories.

Coincidence? Maybe not.

That's me. Let's go collect some more!

Spammy