I have no idea what I did with my day

Today I had one of those days where I have no idea what I was going to do with my time but man did I ever do the shit out of it.

So I ended up lazy geeking the ever loving hell out of my day. It was a good time. I might do it again tomorrow, but instead eat real food and include other people instead of pizza and on sale valentine's day chocolate and being all by myself.

Now I don't say this like it's a complaint or a bad thing (however it is not something one should do on a weekly basis...like I used to) but this is pretty much the first time since Christmas that I had any time to myself. I've been a bit busy and kinda burnt out.

Time to yourself is a valuable thing, think stuff over. Well in my case it's usually overthink stuff over but I'm getting pretty good at not doing that. But it's nice to stop and catch up on shit you've been meaning to do. Figure out if you're going to complicate your life by shiting where you eat, that sort of stuff. I had a lot of random junk on my mind today.

My hero.
 

Why does pretending to be a dragon feel more satisfying than work? My roommate's cats used to find this terrifying, but now they're cool with it.

Sometimes I sneeze with my whole body. This is rather uncomfortable, but I imagine if some enterprising friend took pictures of this they would turn out all kinds of awesome.

At home growing up, I always got "Samuel" when I was in trouble. A couple women I dated did the same thing. At work nobody ever calls me "Samuel" even if I am in trouble. I'm not sure but I don't think I like this.

Why is it when you have a crush you start using expressions and do stupid shit you'd never do normally. Not even in a "I want to impress you" sort of way but in a "my brain fucking hates me for some reason today" way.

If I got a pet rock nobody would ever take me seriously. Not that people should really take me all that seriously anyway but it'd be another reason. I even have a potential spot picked out on my shelf of random junk that I love.

If I ever get married I'll either start or stop stripping. I'm not sure which. Does getting changed in front of a window that faces nothing count as stripping? What if I do it to music? I just get really happy to be home from work some days. Either way I really should learn how to dance better.

How come Spiderman never shows up no matter how many spiders I eat?

I never grew up. I only got bigger. Well ish. It's more complicated, but this is sorta accurate.

I'm worried that my Mr. Potato Head dolls might be alive. It's not that I don't want them to watch me have sex, I'm just afraid they'd start yelling out encouragement. Or criticism.

That's me. Eventually I will actually talk about things and events and stuff. I just didn't have that much going on today. I fucking loved it.

Sam

My head feels fuzzy.

I am a victim of marketing: I really did think the new laundry detergent would make my clothes smell like a mountain spring. Now I think my clothes smell like what I imagine gonorrhea smells like..

I accidentally hit myself in the balls while putting on my boxers this morning.

I saw a robot in a toga today. I might have called it a lesbian. Did I misread that?

I can't change my ringtone, the world is now a better place.

I hate toilets. They scare the shit out of me.

I heard the term "more exciting than a bag of vibrators" today. Is this a thing now?

I never gave up on magic. Poof! I'm a geek.

I'm not sure if I have any idea as to what a reasonable number of babies is.

I'm old enough to know better, but optimistic enough to think I can still pull it off.  Suddenly, meatloaf.

I heard that they found Atlantis in a Spanish swamp. I'm not sure what to do with that information, but bless them they found it.

I want salt and pepper shakers in the form of things you usually don't put salt and pepper on. Like dignity. Or self-respect.

 I found a whole bunch of cool date ideas online. Now I need a date. And a camera. Sounds a bit creepy when I say it like that.

I swear to god this won't end up on the internet

That's me. So I haven't seen my roommate Kate in just about a week. Today she walked upstairs and told me that all the bottles of shampoo and girly stuff are gone from her shower. And she can't very well wash her hair with conditioner can she? Haha Kate lost everybody's shampoo!


Sam

They really don't.

The other day at work one of the little old ladies on the packing line asked me to lift up some boxes for her.  As a big, strong, young man (laadddiiiiieeeesss) of course I helped her out. The rule at work is if someone asks you to lift something, you fucking help. And it was a nice little old lady who's nice to me. The boxes were rather heavy, but I'm superhero (laaaaddddddiiiieeeesss) and it was no problem at all.

However.

Coming back from my break I see her carrying the same boxes, one under each freaking arm! And then I no longer felt superheroic. Holy balls I probably couldn't do that myself. Sweet little old Grandma lady played up being all infirm and grandma-like to get out of lifiting some boxes. She could be a ninja or a spy or some shit. I feel...unclean (That also could be the Taco Bell).

If that is your real name, "Grandma"

Does anyone think the words "testicle" and "vestibule" seem connected on some weird way? I need someone else to back me up on this cause when I mentioned it to the roomie Kate, she gave me that looks that make me think I am a crazy person.

AnD i MiGhT bE!

But I still think the words are oddly similar.

A week or 2 ago I had a great night out, but it kinda started in a cool way that's kinda been stuck in my head for a while. Dinner and wine. That's all. But it was awesome. I don't usually have a nice dinner with friends and sit around with a couple bottles of wine and just kinda hang out and talk all night. (and then a great rest of the night at a bar with live music, more drinks and dancing). I rather enjoyed it., I guess it's not something I've ever really done a whole lot before.

Say the word loofah. Loo-fah. Looooooooooooooofffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Last Friday at work I was in the locker room and somebody noticed my shirt was on inside out. Didn't really bug me as we wear uniforms and such. Then somebody else noticed my shorts were on inside out. Now, this was slightly concerning because I've been dressing myself for years and I'd hope I'd notice something like this when I was putting the clothing on. What more's, my socks: inside out and mismatched. What.The.Fuzzy. Didn't even get dressed in the dark or anything. Weird.

Okay. Quick dating thing. You like a girl, and you're damn sure she's interested. you ask her out and she say no and that kinda sucks. You ask her friend what happened and apparently the way you asked her out is what caused her to say no. That is confusing as shit.

This one actually didn't happen to me.

Yet.

But it was a drunken story someone told me that I thought was kinda messed up. For all I know he asked her all rape-y. Still.

Anywho that's me. Titles for my blog entries don't mean all that much.

SpAmalanthalas