I'm on a boat!

Despite living virtually my whole life in a city that is so landlocked that people from other cities that are landlocked say "Damn! Your city is landlocked", I like being out on the water.

Being "in" the water is a different story.

But I know lots of water-related stuff, like how to scream when you're on a tube behind a boat with a lady behind the wheel who is not all that okay with you dating her daughter. Or how it's okay if you pee, cause hey, who's going to notice? Unless of course you told someone you had to pee. And then they tickled you too much and then asked how you were holding up and you said "I'm all good now, just don't go near *that* area of the water." Same day I learned about how pee is funny colors is some kinds of pools. That's science.

But I also know that you call really big boats "ships".

Other kinds of ships that are not always water related, but it's fun to think that they are.

relationships - "insert something witty here" (ha-ha that's what she said)

friendships - Yay!

workmanship - The workmanship on this ship is of high quality.

penmanship - Pen15

marksmanship -  I don't know anyone named Mark.

gunship - Pew pew!

dealership - Misleading since most dealerships deal in cars. Unless the dealership deals in actual ships. (note: upon discussion with available roommates, we decided you could call a place that sells boats a boat dealership)

And then, of course, spaceships. The best kind of ships. Also cool? Space stations.

That's no moon...

Want to know what I like on space ships? Lights.

Want to know where there are lights? Toronto.

What else is in Toronto? Rise Against and A Day To Remember.

When? In May. And I have tickets (note:not really but they are coming in the mail)

At the moment, it's pretty much what I'm living life for.

That's me. I want a spaceship. And a Chewbacca.

Sam

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone, we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.

I get that a lot.

So I'd like to think I have a wide and varied taste in music. But I think everyone says that, so even I'm not sure how true it is for me, that's what I usually tell people. I think a lot of it depends on what I'm doing and who I'm with. For example, normally I'm not a fan at all of pop or dance music, but when I'm out dancing with the roommates and getting shot down by pretty girls at the bar I get kinda into it.

And as much as I hate myself for saying this is a semi-public forum, I also think country music is okay when it's live and you're at a country bar. Plus, cowboy hats on women are hot. Just sayin.

Now all that being said, when it's just me typing out a blog entry it's usually Metal coming from the laptop speakers (at the moment it's Hail the Villain). Now I could probably be more specific, but the truth of the matter is I don't give a hungover dinosaur's fossilized shit about all the different classifications. If I like a band, I listen to them, don't care if they're post-apocalyptic or black thrash symphonic. Funny story, didn't make up those genres.

But it's pretty easy and accurate to call me a metal-head. Even if I don't fit into the whole "metal scene" very well.

I relate more to the huge metal fan.

But last week I tagged along with one of my roommates who had some friends having a birthday party. I'd met Lisa and James both before and I get along really well with them...because we talk about music. It fucking rocks. I don't really know a lot of people who I share a similar taste in music with, but these two? Pretty much identical. I almost felt bad for Aubz.

Almost. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaah!

But I had a pretty awesome time at the party. Kinda interesting though, as it kinda reinforced the whole "Sam doesn't come off a metal loving dude" thing I got going on. It turns out that James knows a couple guys in a local metal band where he lives and they all made it out to the party. The drummer started to, in a way I can only describe as "establishing my credentials", question me about my top 5 favorite metal bands. Of course, I passed with flying fucking colors and an announcement of "he knows his shit".

Let me clear this up. I've been a fan of Metal since I was 14. Of course I know my shit. But it was a fucking great time getting trashed and talking about music all night. I love talking about Metal.

But I guess I don't look like I do. Everyone else there was in black band hoodies and t-shirts all with piercings and tattoos. I have no piercings or tattoos and the only black pants I own are part of an old work uniform. But it doesn't bother me. But just because I don't look like a metal fan doesn't mean I'm not one.

Also an acceptable form of Heavy Metal.

Want to know one of my favorite musical things? When a big scary hardcore metal band just slows the fuck down and puts out a ballad love song type dealy. That stuff blows my mind.

Cause while I may be a metal fan, I'm also a sappy geek who likes love songs.

That's me. I'm going to go all Apocalyptica on the Slipknot holding up the Trivium of In Flames.

Sam the Prof







P.S. Shout out to Rhonda who I ran into at the grocery store today and reminded me that she finds her way here from time to time.

Really brain? Screw you.

Some days I can sleep, some days I can't.

Some days I look in the sky and see a cloud that looks like a moo cow with a lightsaber.

My brain works funny, I've learned to live with it.

But I'm starting this post at 5am...for the second day in a row. Something must be done.

Well...maybe tomorrow. Or is it today now? I don't care anymore.

Because now I'm here.

Once you awaken the beast you must defeat it.

Once you start the spell, you must complete it.

Once you light the fire you must feed it.

Once you buy the burger you must eat it.

...

Once you (something something) you must (oh god I sound douche-y today)

Once you (I am not a poet I guess) you must (Something cool with sharks?)

Once (Are sharks even cool anymore?) you must (I bet Chewbacca could ride a shark)

Once you (I'd watch that movie) you must (Sober, even).

Hey look at this funny and unrelated picture I found.

Funny story, I've been blogging for like 8 years and I've hit every part of that chart except for the middle.

Actually even with the no sleeping thing, my 4 day weekend is going pretty marvelously. I rented Dragon Age Origins, Source Code and Adjustment Bureau, ordered a pizza, took off my pants and sat in the living room all day. I call that a fucking day off. A super geeky one too. I haven't geeked out in a while so it was fun. Also Manny stopped by and watched Source code with me and invited me to a BBQ thingy. So hah. who needs roommates who try to convince you to go to Montreal anyway.

RENT MONEY IS IMPORTANT

I was amazingly impressed with the Adjustment Bureau. (Source Code totally kicked super geeky parallel universe ass too). As people who've been here before, I'm a self admitted sappy idealistic fool. I like slow Metal love songs and giving massages by candlelight. But this movie was a romance. For geeks. Actiony and suspenseful and philosophical and a whole bunch of other crap I like. But it's a romance movie. Maybe the best one ever.

Most guys wouldn't put this shit out on the internet. But my brothers have taken away my man-card and my housemates make fun of me for anything I ever say/do/write/perform/ anyways, so why sugar coat it? Plus I'm like 50% sure I'm hallucinating from the lack of sleep over the last 3 days so chances are okay that I'm actually just drumming my fingers on the back of the couch and staring at the painting of James Spader in the living room while I think I'm lying in bed typing.

Been there.

Or have I?

And since I am starting to confuse myself about where I am and what I am doing I'm going to share this funny song with you.



That's me. I am not condoning killing women. However, if I ever act like this ...again... you're more than welcome to feed me a shotgun sandwich with a side of "Oh god, Sam you made us do this, now hold still so we can make sure we get your mouth around both barrels."

SpAmmy

I am a lame-o

If there is one thing I have learned by trying the online dating thing again it's that nobody is intimidated by how smart and handsome I am.

And trying to freak out Aubz's sister didn't work as well as we hoped. That sucks.

Which is fine, because my awesomeness has nothing to do with either. Not that I'm not smart, I just don't come across that way. Nobody really wants to hear that the dude trying to make those chopsticks dance in a line actually got 80s and 90s in school. I guess the lucky batman boxers don't come across as terribly intellectual either.


...but they're so lucky...

Actually it's kind of funny, it's when I get pissed that the brains start coming out. Now don't get me wrong, Jay is the clearheaded one in a crisis. When things get really bad I want to put blood on the walls. But when I'm just normally pissed off at someone, the more pissed I get the more polite and formal I get. That's when the vocabulary starts to shine. After that comes the urge to kill.

Also, sometimes when I'm being a lame-o and trying to impress a girl. I'm sure that comes as no surprise.

Or if I'm trying to one-up somebody in a battle of wits. I'm just bad at it. Ask Becca. Was trying to describe her to somebody today and came up with 3 things. Roommate. Friend. Sometimes mortal enemy. I thought it was pretty damn accurate. My housemates kick ass.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate it when I come home from work and the house is quiet. Not that it's anybody's fault, I'm just not a fan. I lived by myself in a lady's basement for 2 semesters when I was in Peterborough and it kinda drove me nuts. I could never live by myself. It's why I have 5 housemates instead of an apartment. Even if sometimes one of them hates me (as far as I know.... since it could be all of them, in which case I will burn this motherfucker down).

Work sucks.

Jay came down last weekend. We watched grown men beat the ever loving shit out of each other on Pay Per view. I'm still not a huge fan of the UFC, but I can see why him and his friends like it so much. Then Taco Bell the next day. Oh the drama and horror that was involved in that. But breakfast IS the most important meal of the day.

Look what I found!



THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME AND ANYBODY WHO TELLS YOU DIFFERENT IS BLONDE AND THEREFORE A BITCH YOU SHOULDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO.

Just sayin.

That's me. Sweaters and rosa/e(s)! Those and a 4 day weekend to look forward to are what's getting me though this week.

SpAmmy

Playing with fire

I came to another odd realization yesterday.

I am probably the most flammable person in the house.

Yup.

1) I definitely have the most body hair. If it wasn't for my razor and beard trimmer I'd be more like Chewbacca then I'd probably be comfortable with. Even if Chewie probably gets all the babes.

2) I am obviously the coolest person living here, therefore I am the most likely to get superpowers. And everyone knows that I got superpowers I'd go nuts, and then probably fuck up and hurt myself.


3) In a zombie apocalypse I'd probably be the first in the house to get infected. Then my roommates would probably light me on fire to kill my re-animated corpse. They might also do that if actually follow up on my threats to take a dump in their pillowcases. Goddamn uppity housemates. Actually even given half a reason I think Becca would douse me in gasoline and throw a match at me.

4) With my whole occult fantasy writing thing I do, there is the chance that I'd piss off a real live witch (a.k.a. my exes hahahaha) and I'd get lit on fire as a result.

5) I drink and do stupid things. Anyone who's gotten a drunk facebook message or text or call from me knows that. It's a bad habit. One of these days I'm going to play with fire after a couple of Jager shots and do something dumb.

I'm sure there are more reasons but Jay made me wake up early and take him to Taco Bell so I'm going to go have a nap.

MUSIC.There is lots of fire here!



I like the part where the car blows up

That's me. Get off my back about posting here peoples, I'm working on it. If you don't stop bugging me I might light YOU on fire and invalidate this entire post. HA.

SpAmmy

HAPPY DAY AFTER CANADA DAY.

So we have a new housemate. He's an exchange student from France. We taught him multiculturalism by getting completely shitfaced on Canadian beer at an Irish bar last night. However I missed out on getting him from the airport due to work, and apparently I missed out. Too bad because I've always wanted to be one of those lame-o people holding a sign up for someone they haven't really met at the arrival gate.

Also, we had another prospective roommate come through the house the other day and he seemed pretty cool. He got real excited about the chess set and the giant painting of James Spader (from Boston Legal) in the living room and that's definitely a plus.

So far not nearly as alone this summer as I had complained about previously, which is all kinds of awesome.

It's been a big week for me actually. I've quit 2 jobs and pretty much stopped the third one. All traded in for a reasonably paying full-time job. This is 2nd time in my entire life that I won't be making minimum wage. I like that. Plus, the full-time thing kicks ass too. I'm very much looking forward to starting on Monday.

However I am going to miss all my Metro people, but I've been there way too fucking long. I'm also going to is all the sarcastic young ladies at the slab, as they made working there a great experience. Working with people who have a sense of humor makes a huge difference. But time to grow up and have a "real" job. If only I could make a living fielding sarcastic comments from pretty girls I'd be set.

But you can't have everything.



Metal band doing a love song. I'm a sucker for such things.

That's me. When Han Solo returns to the Death Star in the Millennium Falcon, and shoots down the TIE fighters and saves the rebel cause, do you think he does so for a free beer?

SpAmmy

Sick of it All

When I had first discovered that my taste in music ran a little bit more intense than than the all the pop and easy listening rock that most of my friends were listening to, I discovered the band Finger Eleven. At the time they were amazing in a way that spoke to me more than any other band I had heard up until that point. Their CD, Greyest of Blue Skies, is always going to be one of my favourite albums of all time (especially since the band blows ass now, god that makes me disappointed).

It's hard to believe that the CD came out about 10 years ago. Kinda makes me feel old.

Another thing I like that bands do is acoustic covers of their own songs. For some reason I've always enjoyed hearing a song I love played in a different way. Now it doesn't always work out, but when it does it's just awesome.

Like this.



I had never heard this version of the song before I discovered it on YouTube last night, and after the first play through I just about shit everywhere.

That's me. Nostalgia is awesome.

SpAmmy

I'm predictable!

So my friend/roommate/mortal enemy (haven't quite worked out that last bit yet) did a blog post poking fun at my foibles and posting everybody's favourite picture of me where I look like a giant douche.

So I was all like:

Ooo just you wait, damn you'll be sorry. (Okay Spammy lots of ideas, come on)

And Becca was all:

Bring it on!

S: Oh you're going to be sorry. (shit buddy, come up with something!)

B: Oh yeah? Go ahead and try.

S: Oh I won't try, I'll do. (bonus points for the star wars reference, but C"MON!)

B: Okay well I'll be gone for a few days.

S: Have fun eating the little potatoes! See ya later! (goddamn my brain hates me)

And so far I have come up with fuck all. I had this one idea where I was going to take a dump in her pillowcase...but I went into her room and I can't even find her damn pillowcase. Seriously, miniature civilizations could rise and fall in the cluttered landscape that she is somehow able to live in. Then I had an idea to post one of HER embarrassing pictures on my blog, (thanks facebook!) but there are no pictures considered as universally embarrassing for her as the one she posted of me.

So I'm kinda at a loss. I mean, it's not like she was mean and uncouth. Most of the crap about me was pretty spot on. I AM kinda predictable. I definitely like the amazing combo of pizza and a movie. I say "that's what she said" like 10 times a day (x3 if I'm drunk) and I definitely understand the importance of routine. So maybe I don't need to respond. I can just be a nice guy, take in the fun harmless way it was intended and move on. I could be unpredictable in the way that nobody would ever expect me not to try to get her back from poking fun at me.

So, here's some more good music.



So uh yeah sometimes I do this thing where I forget how old I am. I'm actually 25. Maybe I'm just anticipating my birthday?

....slightly embarrassed. Actually I think my twin brother was kinda offended for some reason.

And I'm still watching waaayyyy to much how I met your mother. It's just so awesome!

So uh, that's me. Stay tuned for next time when I talk about my POF dating experience!

SpAmmy

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Stay awesome!

I have decided not to grow up.

It's official, and you heard it here first Internet. (please don't tell my mom though, she won't be happy). I'm 26, I have 3 jobs, and I work 6 days a week, I pay rent, phone bills, credit card bills and an osap loan. But all I really want to do is play. And not necessarily video games either! I just want to hang out with my friends and do stupid shit all the time, it's that simple.

Well ish.

I just don't want to be bored, or even worse I don't want to cause others to be bored. So I declare it here, I will never throw a wine tasting "gathering" where people discuss mortgage rates. In fact if you throw such a gathering, don't tell me because I might punch you in your baby making part(s). Or (circumstances dictating of course) I will punch your baby.

I want to always be up for a night of drinking or gambling. I want to always be excited about going to a video arcade or an amusement park full of roller coasters. If nothing else, I always want to want to listen to the music I love. Seriously I would probably be stark raving nuts without music. My music. Epic shit right here people.



I like the part where they just rock the fuck out for the last minute and a half of the song.

Have you ever been having a conversation with somebody and realize you just don't want to talk to that person anymore? For the rest of your life? I've just come to the realization that there are some people around me, that I don't really want to be around anymore. It's weird outgrowing your friends. Or people that thought they were friends with you and you thought you were friends with but really weren't due to a variety of extenuating circumstances.

I just like spending time with people who like me. Duh.

Oh speaking of awesome, I've been watching a bunch of How I Met Your Mother. Want to know how to combine a Star Wars reference with an awesomely funny t.v. show?


That's me. Turns out I will accept just about anything as long as it's a cute blonde doing the giving.

SpAmmy

P.S. I do happen to realize that when I get married and/or have children that my priorities will drastically change and the things I find fun now might not seem so wonderful later. The point is not that I want to be a gambling alcoholic when I grow up, more that I just want to keep doing stuff that I find fun and not be a boring tard later in life.