Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Top 5 things I'm going to do with my OSAP loan

SHOUT OUT TO KATE who is my newest follower! Check out her blog
http://simplykateweber.blogspot.com/

Top 5 things I'm going to do with my OSAP loan

5) Buy books! I need books for class and I'm going to buy them. Right now. Well not right now but today and tomorrow.

4) Groceries! Real groceries! Not hot dogs and KD anymore. Real people food, instead of 2 steps from cat-food food. I'm going to start tagging along with one of my roommates to the farmer's market on Saturdays. Yay!

3) Clothes. I hate clothes shopping. I however, have friends who "dressing me up like I was a big man-doll". Not my words. Not my preference. But I need clothes and I hate shopping, so I invite people who DO have fun with that sort of thing. I also have a need for jeans. However that day will probably involve falling out of the drunk tree and hitting every branch on the way down. And falling on a cat. In case you didn't know, that means we shall be wasted. But after we're done with the mall. I'm not sure about the cat.

2) Computer? The question mark means I'm still thinking about it. I hate the computer I have, but I do almost all my work at the school library anyways.

1) Drugs and hookers. Heroin and whores. Coke and sluts. Weed and skanks. I'm going to do intravenous drugs while having unprotected sex and taking the Lord's name in vain. Seriously.

(Not seriously)

Funniest question I was asked today: "What do they have condoms for?"

Note: I could explain the context, but screw that noise.

So I finished my umpteenth (that means a lot) Stephen King novel and you know what I decided? Stephen King has hit John Grisham status in my mind. Now I've always had trouble telling John Grisham books apart in my mind, so when I describe them to they're being described to me titles are useless. Well expect for my favourite ones. You have to say "that one where that high priced lawyer goes to that firm and helps homeless people. Or "that one where that DA gets set up on all those class action suites". Well that's where I am with Stephen King novels. You have to go by description, not title.

I have also decided that Stephen king is a guilty pleasure for fantasy geeks. It's not very good for you, but you know you're going to devour it anyway. Like a meat lover's pizza or a giant sundae, or that girl you shouldn't call because it's won't be good for either of you but will be fun for at least one night, and maybe the next morning.

The roomies and I went out to the Albion on Saturday for a semi birthday type thing and a semi time to get wasted type thing. It was pretty good. They all spoke with British accents and had a very elaborate back story that convinced a whole lot of the other drunk people wandering around the city that night that they were visiting from England. The sober people weren't so easily fooled however, stupid sober people.

I myself had a great time, had a bunch of beers, scammed some kisses, popped some balloons, stole a glow stick, had some Tequila (it's been a while) and got a bunch of questionable pictures taken of me. I also spent a heckuva lot of time yelling at my roommate to go talk at the guy she's kinda crushing on. Reminds me of me yelling at Irf about talking to girls. I don't know why I do it, I guess drunk Sammy tends to get over involved in stuff like that. Oh and I also got a t-shirt that disappeared the next morning. But I totally got my ass grabbed as it went into my pocket.

Score!

Twenty minutes on Sunday is not enough I think. It blows that my phone died and I didn't get to see the girls when I went out on Saturday night. But I did get another awesome chat about dating. I'm still pretty sure I'm not interested in seeing anyone. Also, apparently, I'm not interested in sleeping around either. I think jay finds this kinda amusing, but what does he know.

Nothing.

Hah what a loser.

Anywho, some of my friends are coupling up and school is in full swing and I've had tons of opportunities to ask for numbers and so forth. I'm just not into it. I dunno, I'm starting to think that it'd just the summer drama that's turned me off dating for a while and it's just that I'm not in a place to be seeing anybody period.

Han Solo never had these kind of problems, Chewbacca was married, Lando was a straight up playa, Luke was just a geeky farm boy who got attached to chicks with "issues". Star Wars isn't much help to me at the moment.

Batman? Batman liked chicks who beat him up, like Catwoman or Talia Al Ghul.

Lord of the Rings? Meh, all the lovey dovey stuff took up a total of 2 pages in a 1200 page book series. However I did learn a lot about killing orcs and not underestimating Gandalf. Gandalf kicks ass.

I think I'm just going to be single for a while longer. Also I think I'm going to stop bitching about it on my blog.

Maybe.

Oooo I almost forgot, one of my roomates is getting ahold of all the extend editions of the LOTR trilogy and we're going to do a marathon on Sunday! it's going to kick so much ass! I'm going to drink pop and eat pizza and dine on ice-cream and bask in the glory that is middle earth. I also have to remember to invite friends over, cause this is an even that shouldn't be done alone, or even almost alone.

"They called us a dead generation,
They told us that we wouldn't survive
They left us alone in the maelstrom
As you can see we're all clearly alive
We know where you are and we're coming
Let's see you say that shit to our face"

That's me. I'm not really going to jump on a cat. No matter how judgmental they get when you drink.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Top 5 jobs I will never have

Top 5 Jobs I will never have

5) Book reviewer. Erikson has ruined most authors for me, cause just about nobody comes even close. I'd probably rate every book I reviewed on the basis of "is this as good as Gardens of the Moon". The answer would probably be no. Every time.

4) Professional Athlete. Even if I kinda like the idea of groupies and hitting reporters you have to be an athlete before you can be a professional athletes. Except for baseball but let's face it, chewing tobacco is fucking gross. Also playing baseball doesn't have anything to do with being athletic. That's like saying Twilight is about vampires. Twilight is fucking horrible. So is baseball.

3) Pirate. As glamorous as Johnny Depp made it look (and despite how I read an awesome blog about a guy who is a pirate) I'm too big a fan of regular hygiene and not being away from women for months at a time.

2) Playboy photographer. Rumor has it it's actual real work taking pictures of naked women with slightly loose morals and an exhibitionist streak. But man I wouldn't mind that at all. Yes I'm a pig. I'm also a fan of naked.

1) Batman. I will never be batman and I will never look as cool as this picture.



Screw bat-shark repellant (what's a bat-shark anyway?). Use a motherfucking lightsaber. GO BATMAN!

My stupid, less evil, asshat of a twin keeps posting hate mail on my facebook wall. I think it gives people the wrong impression.

Some examples:

Me: Niagara Falls bound for the weekend! I'm going to watch fireworks and millions of gallons of water fall over a precipice!

Friend: I want to come... stupid work T_T

Work friend: Have fun and don't gamble too much.

Me: I can't afford to gamble until OSAP comes in :)

Jay: you piece of shit


and


Me: (posting a link to this very blog)

Jay: you mean to be a piece of shit


and


Me: I am hero

Friend: I. Am. Weasel!

Jay's friend: You are an hero.

Jay: You are a piece of shit


and


Me: you should call me some night this week so i can swear at you

Jay : go suck on an asshole


Also apparently I called him a cock on the phone one night loud enough for all my roommates to hear while they were sitting downstairs in the living room. I don't remember it, but it definitely sounds like something that would happen.

I might not be totally innocent, but it's my blog and I can make whoever I want look bad.

"Everybody's got a reason and they're just not telling
Everybody's got the answer but they're just not selling
We start a fire just to light it up, realize we burned it down
To the ground"

That's me. A certain someone might get a turn if she doesn't start blogging again.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Top 5 things I would do with a lightsaber

Top 5 things I would do with a lightsaber

5) Adopt an alter ego. I would go around with a mask and a cape and show off my cool-ass lightsaber. I don't know that I'd go around doing batman-type stuff, it's more an excuse to wear a cape and a mask and brandish my awesome glowing sword. I'd also probably do this at night so my lightsaber would look bitchin, cause lightsabers don't looks as cool in the daylight.

4) I would learn how to sword fight. Mostly so I'd look more believable. Also, one day I'd run into somebody else with a lightsaber and we'd have to duel. It's the rules. And I don't want to lose any lightsaber duels now do I. Do I? Nope.

3) Open stuff. Need a door? Lightsaber. Need a stubborn jar opened? Lightsaber. No can opener? Lightsaber. Pesky neighbours getting you down? Talk it out and come to an adult conclusion. Then when they're not suspecting anything you open their skulls with... you guessed it, lightsaber!

2) Massive random property destruction. Case I know if I had a lightsaber I'd just go around cutting stuff with it. I'd go run up and down the aisles of the nearest grocery store, write stuff in concrete and melt playground equipment.

1) I'd probably start a life of crime, since all the stuff I'd do with a lightsaber is mostly illegal. However I'd probably be brought back to goodness by the love of a woman. (who puts out)

Umm I've always been partial to silver since Knights of the Old Republic 2, but I don't think I'd be picky about the color.

Mum and dad came to town to visit Josh, and of course I tagged along. I was actually planning on going to see him that weekend anyways. We ended up playing Mario Kart. I remember when I kicked ass at that game. I was a ninja, I mean no one could touch me. Now I struggled to even make it in the top 10. Stupid little brothers and them having free time to play video games. I've always known conceptually that he's better at video games than I am, and has been for a while. But man it got rubbed into my face. Anyone else remember when younger siblings started kicking your ass at stuff you used to be good at?

At least I still have him beat at crazy dating stories and ability to hold liquor.

Perceptive viewers may have noticed some of the new blogs I'm following. I did end up joining the a blogging network and I've used it shamelessly to find stuff I find interesting to read. As much as I like blogging I like reading other blogs just as much. Go check em out!

Osap is trying to kill me. Again.

I've been asked to start posting new entries on facebook, for some who don't want to make a google account and go through the hassle of setting up an account and logging in to check and see if I've posted new stuff. So I think I'll do that. I'm still flabbergasted that people want to read this thing. However blogger now has a tab where you can track your stats and it may ruin my life. But it also shows that a helluva lot more people read this thing then I ever thought. Yay me!

I'm thinking about getting a new computer. Mostly because I hate mine. Josh has some good ideas and I've also been told about some awesome Mac deals, that could be interesting.

At work this week I had a good talk about how us men are stupid and some of the dumbass stuff we do. I like helping. Or thinking I helped. I should find out if any of the girls wanna get in on stuff we might be planning for this weekend as I miss them. Also I haven't been around them since they started dating people and I'm curious to see how they act around Their boys, as it's something that's still relatively new. Well to me at least.

I like music. I always have. I don't care if people never heard of most of the crap I like because it doesn't stop me liking what I like. Make sense?

Good.

One of my favourite musical things is when heavier bands do slower lovey dovey crap. I've just rediscovered Trivium and I found a perfect example. It also may be one of my most favourite songs ever.



That my friends, was a metal band who made a love song.

"The promised hiding their rings
To suck down some of the things
That cheat this world into lovelessness

All the pain in this world won't stop us now
For we have each other

All the hate in this world can't tear us apart
This love is forever"

That's me. I am hero.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Top 5 things that are awesome and also not awesome at the same time

Top 5 things that are awesome and also not awesome at the same time

5) Soap. Awesome: It makes stuff clean and not look or smell like a hobo. It's effective on myself and hair and dishes (and probably other stuff I can't think of at the moment as well).

Not awesome: You ever get soap in your eyes? Or mouth? Case closed.

4) Cheeseburgers. Awesome: I like meat. I love meat and cheese. I love meat and cheese on a crusty bun. Plus you can put anything you want on them. You feel like ketchup? Put ketchup on. You feel like pickles? You go to town. You feel like salad? Get the fuck away from my cheeseburger. you feel like a ninja? Well good luck catching him long enough to get him under the bun.

Not awesome: Having a ass that jiggles when you walk.

3) Capes. Awesome: They look so bad ass. You never wanna mess with someone in cape. Batman has a cape. Do you wanna mess with Batman? Yeah, didn't think so.

Not awesome: It take a bit of practice running around in a cape to be able to fight effectively in one... or even walk in a straight line. Without that practice you're more likely to end up looking like you lost an argument with a bed sheet then looking bad ass.

2) Stairs. Awesome: Stairs are one of the most useful thing ever invented, they let me go up and down stuff. The stairs going to the basement are very accommodating as they let me carry a rather big basket full of laundry up and down them from time to time.

Not awesome: From time to time they try to kill me. Seriously. The fifth step of the flight going up to my bedroom is out to get me. It fucking moves or something. Seriously.

1) Testicles. Awesome: I like mine since I'm rather ...attached to them. (Get it? My testicles are physically attached to me. Cause that pun was totally intended. I love puns.)

Not awesome: The only problem with external genitalia is a vulnerability to knees and fastballs, and boy you are not happy if something connects. Really not happy.

Honorable mention : Women. However since we discussed how I like my testicles and how to make them not awesome, I don't think I'm going to explain myself.

Last night while I was strumming away on the guitar I thought to myself: "Tomorrow I'm going to blog so hard man, my blog's going to wish I hadn't blogged so hard."

And here I am.

It has occurred to me lately that most people don't have kind of conversations I'm used to having on a regular basis with the girls. We're a rather filthy and horny bunch I think, as we've all discussed rather intimate details of what we've done to to other people and what we've had done to ourselves. Most people don't talk about that. It just kinda happens that when we get together, we talk about sex. And not just in general terms either.

We're also big fans of going through all our relationship drama. (well not lately as we've all been pretty drama free for a bit I think). But yeah most groups of friends and acquaintances don't discuss this stuff and there are very good reasons for that.

But I'm very happy I do have people I can discuss this stuff with, and I'm happy that it's not a conscious thing either. It's just what we talk about, and none of us cares.

Speaking of girly stuff I had a nice chat at Williams the other night where I mostly decided I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. I think this attitude came about when Ally started calling me again. It's just that right now school is a huge deal for me, everything is all new and shiny and I really am dedicated to doing well. Not that dating someone will cause me to do poorly, I just think I'd like to focus on myself and my own goals for a while before I start looking again.

Fuck me, I think I might be getting "mature" and "grown up" again.

Most inappropriately hilarious thing I heard lately : Nice tits, can I take a shit on them?

...aaaaaannnnnndddddd we're back to making the Internet a more classy place.

Chewbacca is cool. Not just because he's like 8 feet tall and can rip your arms out of their sockets and beat you to death with them. Not just because he's an amazing pilot or a crack shot with anything in the universe that can project death at a distance. It's not because of his unwavering loyalty and dedication to his best pal, Han Solo. Chewbacca is cool because he can roar really loud.

Stuff that roars is so bad ass. You could be all "What a nice Wookie friend you have there Han" and then Chewie roars and then you're all like "Please don't eat me scary big things with fangs". No roar : not worth mentioning. Roar : pee your pants because you can't find a bathroom cause you're too scared to breathe.

This also might be the reason I like dinosaurs. A baby T-Rex could be cute for all we know. But as soon as it get it's "outdoor" voice, us humans are pretty much snack food.

Unless...

HOLY CRAP! Why didn't I think of this before! What would happen if a dinosaur ate a zombie?!?!?! Would the dinosaur zombify or can human zombies only infect other zombies!?!?!? Holy shit, zombie T-Rex!?!?! Or even worse, zombie velociraptors?!?!?!

This is what I get for watching Zombieland last night. Now I'm not going to be able to fucking sleep.

Stupid zombie dinosaurs keeping me up all night.

That's me. Zombieland is still an awesome movie even if it make me think up stupid shit.

"Is this your salvation?
Is this all you can give?
I will not stand in reflection
of someone else's dream"

Monday, September 13, 2010

Top 5 fingers on my hand

Top 5 fingers on my hand

5) Ring finger (completely useless as I own no rings)

4) Pinkie finger (for swearing)

3) Middle finger (for swearing)

2) Index finger (for pointing and poking)

1) Thumb (Yes it bloody well counts! It'd be very difficult to hold my guitar and play the xbox without my thumb)

It's always annoying when Jay's right but at least he likes the top 5 lists. Maybe I will make them huge ass stories, but we'll see if I can find the time.

Most perfumes and colognes give me massive headaches, but the other day I smelled something that was actually rather nice. Then I found out the perfume belonged to a person I hate, so then that went out the window again. One of these days someone I like will have something that smells nice that doesn't give me a headache. I imagine it'll make me horny based on how girls I've dated have responded to my aftershave (which doesn't give me a headache but most definitely does not make me horny).

Things have been rather eventful for me lately. This is good for the Internet (even if I can't keep my language clean and my thoughts off breasts) because I've been posting a whole lot lately. Well I know it keeps Jay and Lysee happy anyway.

I think.

I hope.

I cry myself to sleep praying about. (Well not really)

So I mostly randomly ended up going out Friday night after work to the Jazz festival/ nuit blance arts thing that was happening downtown. I did feel bad that I got a ride home from Melissa but actually didn't manage to hang out with her at all. But yeah I ended up hanging out with Aubrey, Corinne and I want to say Jessica, but I'm terrible with names again.

Yeah the only guy surrounded by women again. I did try to get Brad out, but hey I'm still not complaining :)

I had a great time that was mostly all kinds of awesome. Ran into drunk Kate and her friend at what was a rather subdued "silent" dance party. It also kinda sucked that Corinne got stuck on the bus while Aubrey and I were forced off at 3am. But it was a rather nice walk home.

I'm a bit headachey and sneezy and even though it's most definitely my own damn fault I'm still annoyed. I'm pretty sure it was from the Jazz festival/ nuit blanche because that was happening downtown where I stood outside in the cold semi-rain a whole lot.

I had an interesting discussion about motivation and finding passion the other day. It was kinda weird actually as that's been something I was (and still am) struggling with. It took me around 24 1/2 years to find something I could actually motivate myself to pursue, and even then it's taken a lot of work to push on with what I've discovered. Even now I know that I only have one true and dedicated passion, only one thing that I know for a fact is inscribed onto my soul in lines of fire. But it's not like It's a waste of time trying to see if there's anything else.

There are lots of things I'm trying out, lots of things I'm learning and experiencing that I am enjoying, but nothing that is life defining.

Yet.

That's me. Go see Machette and you'll learn about intestines!

"Sure it would change my perspective
I'm certain I would change today
I'm certain it would change our ways
Would things fall into place?"

Friday, September 10, 2010

Top 5 zombie movies of all time

Top 5 zombie movies of all time

5) Resident Evil (Mmm short red dress)

4) Dawn of the Dead (Stupid dog got half of em killed)

3) 28 Days Later (Freeking nuts)

2) Shawn of the Dead (Hilarious, first Simon Pegg movie I ever watched)

1) Zombieland (This movie changed my life)

one of our house rules is that if any of us get bitten and are infected with a zombie creating virus, the others get to shoot that person in the head. It also might be the solution to any dish washing or garbage issues.

The Planet Earth DVD game might be the most boring board game ever. Either that or we just started way too late because everyone who was in on it was bushed and had drooping eyelids by the end of it. I think I preferred our Monopoly game.

I'm kinda amusingly sad for one of my friends. She just settled down with a guy after quite a long period of not being settled down with a guy. That's great and we're all happy for her. But apparently he hasn't been keeping her occupied with one of her favourite pastimes (in case this was too vague I mean sex). That's the sad part. The amusing part is that she got a whole bunch of phone calls from guys looking to take care of that for her. But she's all settled down now.

I think I might be mean for finding this funny. Of course, I'm not the only one.

Shout out to Melissa! She doesn't read this blog but was just peering over my shoulder saying goodbye in the school library. I owe her cookies.

So as it turns out Aubry has a guitar that she doesn't really know how to play too!. So we're going to have Kate and one of her friends ...cute blonde friend... teach us how to play the guitar! It'll be like house jam sessions! I'm pretty stoked. They played and sang for a bunch of us last night and it was pretty awesome.

The thing is, when I was learning the guitar before, it was all focused on theory and learning how to read music and stuff like that. I'm now finding that muddling though and leaning stuff you can play with your friends is so much more entertaining and rewarding. Screw theory, screw learning the notes, I just wanna be able to chill and play with friends. After all it's not like I'm ever going to be joining a band or becoming a concert guitarist. I just want to have fun with it, and I think I figured out how to do that.

I'm just going to play things by ear and let things happen if they happen. If they don't they don't. Every time I try to behave myself something else comes up. Well this time I'm not going to actively go for anything. I'm sorry I keep doing this back and forth thing, it's just that recently I've been chick-drama free and I don't really need it right now. Especially after I've had one of the best weeks I've had in a very very long time.

Anyways, tonight we're doing a drunken housemate party so I have to go to the LCBO. Plus, this guy beside me is coughing a lot and it's getting rather bothersome.

That's me. DAFT! OY VEY! SCHMUCK!

"I'm not looking for a clearer conscience.
Peace of mind after what I've been through.
But before we talk of any repentance,
Try walking in my shoes.
Try walking in my shoes"

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Top five things I was asked on my first day of class

Top five things I was asked on my first day of class

5) Can I borrow a pen? (Are you fucking serious? Really?)

4) Is it illegal to have sex in one of the classrooms or lecture halls? (No clue, but if you're offering then I'm up for finding out the hard way)

3) Are there computers at the Library people can use? (Nope, those computers are for display purposes only, all thousand of em)

2) Do they give out marks in this class? (Nope, you're graded by the rays of sunshine that get reflected off your bald forehead)

1) Do you have a condom I could borrow? (Dude, I'm not sharing. Ask your mom though, I might have left some on her nightstand)

I think from now on my top 5's are going to count down instead of up. I think it makes more sense. Y'know building suspense and whatnot.

Okay so first day of class today and I'd say it's going pretty well.

I'm so going to bend my Introduction to Philosophy; Major Texts class over a couch, pull it's hair and show it who's boss. Seriously I'm going to spank that course so hard it'll run screaming from the awesomeness of my performance. Squeal like a piggy, bitch.

Yep, I'm keeping the Internet a classy place.

My mum got me in trouble for swearing too much. It was pretty well deserved, but funny thing is I curse a heck of a lot less then when I was in high school. In my defense I only swear a lot on this blog and around Jay and Josh. Cause those assholes deserve it. And you assholes who read my blog deserve it.

I only swear around assholes.

We had a housemate bonding day yesterday where we played a very back and forth game of Monopoly (which I lost), watched Dawn of the Dead (which was awesome) and convinced Kate to help me out with my Guitar (which is super awesome). It was mostly Brad, myself and Kate, Aubry came in during monopoly and Amy came in during the movie and then disappeared upstairs. I still haven't met Becca cause she doesn't move in till next week, but apparently we're going to get along well. So yay for that I'm sure. I think we're going to try for another roomie bonding night on Friday, but with booze.

Cause you can't really know someone unless you've wandered completely wasted to find food at 2am with them.

It's not my fault I get mad cravings for pizza when I'm wasted. The girls think it's hilarious.

I'm thinking about joining one or two of those blog networks that are out there and becoming a little more active in the community. I love reading blogs and I mightily enjoy posting on this one, so it's seems like a good idea. I'll look into it.

Haha turns out I forgot a bunch of crap at my parent's house. mom's trying to make me feel bad.

It's not working.

And Jay better fucking call me tonight.

That's me, FIRST DAY OF SKOOL! Having another "girls are dumb" week though.

"Would it be okay?
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?"

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Top 5 things to slay a dragon with

Top 5 things to slay a dragon with

1) Wit and intellect (Knowledge is power baby! Plus dragon guts are so messy)

2) Twilight movie marathon (Twilight kills cool stuff all the time...like vampires and werewolves. I fucking hate Twilight)

3) Traps involving princesses that aren't really princesses. (I know chicks who could nag a dragon to death)

4) Magic pointy stuff (Cool swords, anything Gandalf has in his pocket, etc)

5) Regular pointy stuff (Ballsy and dangerous, bring a few hundred people you're not close to)

Shit I think there's something in my house!

Living with real life people and not imaginary versions of people I like is going to be difficult. I imagine it should be good for stopping all those dinner conversations I have with myself. Growing up in the house I did, I think I have an issue with silence inside a house. I'm a big fan of quiet outdoors though.

So I had a pretty good "vacations" in Niagara Falls with Mum and Dad. Just the three of us. Pretty sure I did that for 3 years. Almost. One big difference here though : the Food Network. It was freaking glorious. I love the Food Network. I blame Jay. Mostly.

Ooo and we saw fireworks! I like the ones that explode! And make noises and colors and stuff! And sparkle brightly in the night sky! I love fireworks!

Also I decided that I like Niagara-on-the-Lake almost as much as I like Parry Sound.! But with no baggage attached Niagara-on-the-Lake is by far and away the clear winner. I spent the better part of 2 afternoons wandering it and it was great. I loved all the little shops and restaurants and cute little "waterfront" park area and walking path. It was quite nice. I kinda wish I had been there with a girl though.

But NO. I'm behaving myself. No trouble until I get a handle on school and living with real living breathing people. Cause we all know my track record. Chicks are crazy. I still like em though. Plus boobs fucking rock.

I should check if crazy Iloveyou girl moved back down the street for school though. I hate it when Jay's right.

I think that's it. I'm sleepy and want a nap. Oo and there are still a box full of dvds downstairs I haven't watched yet.

That's me. First day of classes is day after tomorrow. I should get pens. 15 of them maybe.

"If I could breathe again (if I could breathe again)
Id choose a new beginning (a new beginning)"

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Top 5 things you don't want your parents to see

Top 5 things you don't want you parents to see

1) You and your brother cursing each out (no matter how hilarious it was)

2) Your porn collection

3) Your facebook wall

4) Hickeys

5) Any kind of bank statement

More people wanna read my shit! I hope they click the "follow" button. (HINT HINT)

I'm having a rather unproductive, but otherwise pleasant visit with my parents this weekend. I do wish Jay or Josh were around though. But then I usually wish one or both of em were around so I guess that doesn't make it much different from any other trip.

While I'm wishing for stuff...

Naw that would be a pretty long list.

YAY FOR CLEARING OUT THE COBWEBS! You know who you is :)

I'm weird.

Shocking revelation I'm sure.

I'm kind of a fan of being by myself. Some might call it being solitary. But I hate being alone and lonely. I like being by myself around other people. Like I said: weird. The other thing is that I can count on one hand the people who I can do this around. People I can be around but not worry about being by myself and also not worry that they're offended. I also hate having to explain this. I'm kinda hoping the roommates don't get offended if, from time to time, I disappear to hit up a book in my room instead of hanging out.

I don't think it'll be a problem.

It's always difficult for people to be themselves. Well in my experience anyways. I remember a certain family I used to have to spend a lot of time with (not my own) and I'd have to constantly evaluate every single thing I said or did before I said or did it. It was exhausting and, in the end, didn't make a difference in how they acted towards me anyway.

Everyone has different versions they show to others. I'm a completely different person around Jay and Josh then I am anywhere else, and that's probably the truest version of who I am. But I just can't be that way all the time. I'm different at work then I am at school, different at school than I am when I'm drinking with the girls. I'm sure I'll be different around the roomies, hell I'm also another person if I'm around a chick I'm into. And boy when I'm rocking out, I'm almost freaking possessed.

But It's not like I'm ever not me. I'm just different versions of myself.

It's not even a comfort issue either. I've dated girls I was completely comfortable and open with, but there were things I didn't say or ways I didn't act around them. I didn't even notice sometimes until it was pointed out.

I guess the goal is to be as myself as I can be as much as possible.

Make sense?

I'm sure it does.

Anyways this one took an oddly contemplative turn.

BOOBIES!

Did that make it better?

Oh wait, we were talking at work and came up with one of the best descriptive phrases ever.

GLISTENING BREASTS.

Gotta make sure nobody gets the wrong idea about me.

That's me, trying to stay classy.

"Pardon me as I burst into a flame"

Friday, September 3, 2010

Top 5 types of Videos to watch on YouTube

Top 5 types of video to watch on YouTube

1) Music Videos (cheaper than Itunes!)

2) Fails (nut shots and people falling never get old)

3) Comedy Skits (some funny stuff there)

4) Vlogs (almost as interesting as blogs)

5) How To videos (cause they show you how to do stuff)


So yesterday was a bad day for singing in the shower, but a good day for making sure I had pants on in the house.

I guess operation no-pants is dead and gone.

So I got up for an unanticipated nap (stupid Terry Brooks book wasn't that exciting) and wandered down to the kitchen for a snack before work. And I hear some rather suspicious noises. Suspicious noises being noises not being made by me because as far as I know I'm the only one in the house. Nope. Girl named Aubry is moving her stuff in the room behind the kitchen. I hope I hid the fact that she scared the shit out of me during my foraging for a cool glass of some sort of orange drink.

Now picture this : you've just come home from a short but busy shift at work and you're only plan is to put on a geeky movie (in this case The Golden Compass), eat some dinner and finish your laundry.

You've just rediscovered an awesome Killswitch song that is now stuck in your head and that's what in your mind as you take you "wipe all the grime and people grossness post work shower". Naturally you start singing the song in the shower. Fuck off, it's natural. So you go and put some big boy clothes on to make you feel better about your shitty work uniform you are forced to wear on a regular basis, and wander down the stairs in need of hotdogs and a semi-kids movie. You idly think about busing into another round of "A Bid Farewell" as mood music to cook dinner. Farewell to the hotdogs about to go into your tummy.


(dramatic pause)


And suddenly as you hit the fifth step (the homicidal one if you recall) you see three strangers standing in your living room. You momentarily panic as the fifth step tries to throw you off the stairs and wildly wonder about where the closest blunt object is when you recognize one of the strangers. It's one of your roommates. Kate. The other 2 are still strangers. Not for long though...

This whole series of events takes about .7 seconds.

Oddly enough, hotdogs and The Golden Compass still happened. Oh yeah, it just happened with a bunch of complete strangers. Mostly complete strangers. They told me I could tag along, got me a 6pack and the night kinda took off. Me and a grand total of a half-dozen 20something year old university students.

Oh yeah, that's right. I'm a "playa". Well... not really. It was still a pretty awesome night of sitting in front of the house, some random wandering and getting packed into a car like a sardine (again 6 chicks, I wasn't complaining) and having a mini rave.

That's right, we had a 10 minute rave listening to some electronica remix of Johnny Cash's "Walk the line".

I never did get my laundry folded.

That's me. Work then Niagara Falls this weekend!