Top 5 things that are awesome and also not awesome at the same time

Top 5 things that are awesome and also not awesome at the same time

5) Soap. Awesome: It makes stuff clean and not look or smell like a hobo. It's effective on myself and hair and dishes (and probably other stuff I can't think of at the moment as well).

Not awesome: You ever get soap in your eyes? Or mouth? Case closed.

4) Cheeseburgers. Awesome: I like meat. I love meat and cheese. I love meat and cheese on a crusty bun. Plus you can put anything you want on them. You feel like ketchup? Put ketchup on. You feel like pickles? You go to town. You feel like salad? Get the fuck away from my cheeseburger. you feel like a ninja? Well good luck catching him long enough to get him under the bun.

Not awesome: Having a ass that jiggles when you walk.

3) Capes. Awesome: They look so bad ass. You never wanna mess with someone in cape. Batman has a cape. Do you wanna mess with Batman? Yeah, didn't think so.

Not awesome: It take a bit of practice running around in a cape to be able to fight effectively in one... or even walk in a straight line. Without that practice you're more likely to end up looking like you lost an argument with a bed sheet then looking bad ass.

2) Stairs. Awesome: Stairs are one of the most useful thing ever invented, they let me go up and down stuff. The stairs going to the basement are very accommodating as they let me carry a rather big basket full of laundry up and down them from time to time.

Not awesome: From time to time they try to kill me. Seriously. The fifth step of the flight going up to my bedroom is out to get me. It fucking moves or something. Seriously.

1) Testicles. Awesome: I like mine since I'm rather ...attached to them. (Get it? My testicles are physically attached to me. Cause that pun was totally intended. I love puns.)

Not awesome: The only problem with external genitalia is a vulnerability to knees and fastballs, and boy you are not happy if something connects. Really not happy.

Honorable mention : Women. However since we discussed how I like my testicles and how to make them not awesome, I don't think I'm going to explain myself.

Last night while I was strumming away on the guitar I thought to myself: "Tomorrow I'm going to blog so hard man, my blog's going to wish I hadn't blogged so hard."

And here I am.

It has occurred to me lately that most people don't have kind of conversations I'm used to having on a regular basis with the girls. We're a rather filthy and horny bunch I think, as we've all discussed rather intimate details of what we've done to to other people and what we've had done to ourselves. Most people don't talk about that. It just kinda happens that when we get together, we talk about sex. And not just in general terms either.

We're also big fans of going through all our relationship drama. (well not lately as we've all been pretty drama free for a bit I think). But yeah most groups of friends and acquaintances don't discuss this stuff and there are very good reasons for that.

But I'm very happy I do have people I can discuss this stuff with, and I'm happy that it's not a conscious thing either. It's just what we talk about, and none of us cares.

Speaking of girly stuff I had a nice chat at Williams the other night where I mostly decided I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. I think this attitude came about when Ally started calling me again. It's just that right now school is a huge deal for me, everything is all new and shiny and I really am dedicated to doing well. Not that dating someone will cause me to do poorly, I just think I'd like to focus on myself and my own goals for a while before I start looking again.

Fuck me, I think I might be getting "mature" and "grown up" again.

Most inappropriately hilarious thing I heard lately : Nice tits, can I take a shit on them?

...aaaaaannnnnndddddd we're back to making the Internet a more classy place.

Chewbacca is cool. Not just because he's like 8 feet tall and can rip your arms out of their sockets and beat you to death with them. Not just because he's an amazing pilot or a crack shot with anything in the universe that can project death at a distance. It's not because of his unwavering loyalty and dedication to his best pal, Han Solo. Chewbacca is cool because he can roar really loud.

Stuff that roars is so bad ass. You could be all "What a nice Wookie friend you have there Han" and then Chewie roars and then you're all like "Please don't eat me scary big things with fangs". No roar : not worth mentioning. Roar : pee your pants because you can't find a bathroom cause you're too scared to breathe.

This also might be the reason I like dinosaurs. A baby T-Rex could be cute for all we know. But as soon as it get it's "outdoor" voice, us humans are pretty much snack food.

Unless...

HOLY CRAP! Why didn't I think of this before! What would happen if a dinosaur ate a zombie?!?!?! Would the dinosaur zombify or can human zombies only infect other zombies!?!?!? Holy shit, zombie T-Rex!?!?! Or even worse, zombie velociraptors?!?!?!

This is what I get for watching Zombieland last night. Now I'm not going to be able to fucking sleep.

Stupid zombie dinosaurs keeping me up all night.

That's me. Zombieland is still an awesome movie even if it make me think up stupid shit.

"Is this your salvation?
Is this all you can give?
I will not stand in reflection
of someone else's dream"