Well that's fine!

Holy crap do Hemmingway and King kinda have it right. Or do they have it write? Haha wordplay. Now, I like to think of myself as an articulate person, but for some reason this shit is so much easier after a couple of beers and having Josh pour me some shots.

Actually the last couple weeks have been pretty great for this sort of shit. Like communication. For the most part. Still, when talking to certain women it's like we're trying two different languages. But that's not too much different drunk OR sober. It's just easier to get shot down when you're trashed.

Well maybe it has nothing to do with being trashed or sober. This week has been pretty great. It's funny how inspiration and motivation come from fucking nowhere. Well more like slightly irritating cause that would be great if you could nail that down on command. But still very nice.

But usually I get motivated to do things or improve myself at work. If anyone was looking for the secret of why I stay there even though most days I hate it, here it is. There is always something that keeps me wading through all the shit, something I can get excited about or interested in. (well financial security plays a big part there too, lets be honest here) But my work/life balance has been leading towards work for the longest time. Well not so much anymore. And it feels so much better.

This week work was so crappy and pfftttttt. ( I hate how I keep track of how long it is between people crying on my line. Why does that have to be a thing?) But since I'm actually happy with the stuff going on outside of work, I can still come home smiling and humming whatever song is on my playlist when I walk in the door. The crappy part is I know it's not going to last (it never does) but damn it feels good.

But at the moment, poetry again! And working on stuff at home that isn't for work! Random drinking with people! Stupid pictures! Special lasagna! I actually slept twice this week! And stuff in the works! Stuff that might carry me on through the next couple week! Holy balls! Weird coincidences!

That's me.I peed everywhere tonight. It's a guy thing.

Samuel!

I am nothing like a marine

Today I was pretty damn frustrated.

So of course I decided I was going to go home and re-evaluate my life and listen to music that sounds better when it's played loud, cause it's good to do that every once in a while.

But then when I actually get home I end up looking at a powerpoint presentation of wedding plans, watch part of a show where a guy goes to an OB-GYN and gets pills for a bruised spine that are normally for mentrual cramps and discuss how, Yes, I like 500 days of Summer. That's what happens when you live with chicks. Doesn't matter though since we can compromise on all this.

I'm not going to tell her I'm disappointed about the lack of chocolate chips.

However it's all kinds of awesome to come home and sit on the couch, get  harassed my housemates, watch a new sitcom, and dicuss our love lives.

This feeling of anticipation hasn't gone away yet. It's weird. It's like when you're a kid and you get to go to wonderland the next day for your birthday (...or when you turn 26). But it's lasted like 3 weeks!  So what the hell do I do?

Oh and my language has slipped into the gutter again. It's like High School bad with all the swearing and such now. The bad part about working in a place where you have to have ear-plus all day is that it's super easy to swear pretty loudly and nobody can tell what you're saying...ish. It's slightly difficult to misinterpret the word "fuck".

We had an indoor barbeque last night. It was too cold for an outdoor one. We made a whole bunch of hotdogs and bugers and stuff and then moved some of the living room furniture and spread a blanket on the floor and sat and yelled at each other. It was awesome.

I emailed a whole bunch of people last week because I'm usually pretty bad for keeping in contact with those I don't see on a regular basis, and now I think a portion of every Sunday is going to be dedicated to doing that from now on. It's been awesome to hear back from everybody. So that journey shall definitely continue.

Thought of the day: Remember, they give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.

That's me. Definitely would use laser metal eye beams to make cookies.

 Sam

 

We do the best we can with what we are given.

I agree, doing what we can with what we have is an awesome idea. But I also definitely think that it's that drive to make things better that really defines a person.

We kind of get stuck in how the way things are now, instead of how we'd like it to be. So fight for how you'd like to be instead of how you are right now. It just kinda makes sense to me... of course it took me a long fucking time to figure that out.

I used to be the king of backing off and running away when shit got hard, and of course, that solved absolutely nothing. Used to be. Things are a bit different now... slightly. Not as different as I'd like it to be, but I'm working on it. Even with the "not backing down and fighting for what I want" thing stuff doesn't always work out for me. But fuck it feels so much better actually taking a shot then just running away. At least I can say I fought.

I just that I notice that people get stuck in their own comfort zones, keep doing the same things or the same type of things over and over,  and don't really change or challenge themselves. I know, because that it used to be me. Hell sometimes it's still me.

But I like to break out of my comfort zone from time to time and challenge myself. Doesn't always work, but the results are there. Notice the whole I'm not just some geek who spends all my time in a basement playing video games and getting into LOTR fights online now. (not that that's a bad thing, it's just not who I want to be all the time... anymore).

Just a few months ago I accepted this promotion at work. It was a big deal for me, I always wondered if I could make a difference somewhere if I actually got a shot at it. Well here was my shot served up to me on a silver platter. No matter how much I was actually starting to like where I was, or the awesome way I could just go to work, get my shit done and go home, I had to take the shot. And I nailed it.

But the last 6 weeks have been... difficult. All the training, the meetings, the politics, the attempts at communication and co-ordination has been a mess. A real uphill struggle. And tomorrow is when I actually start (as far as I know).

As hard as it's been, it's going to get worse.

But I can take it. I have to. All I've ever wanted to actually have a shot and there's no fucking way I'm wasting this opportunity. It's not ever going to be easy, if it was it wouldn't be worth busting my ass fighting for it. Successful or not, there's no way I'm going to walk away saying "I wish I had tried harder". Win or Lose, I'm going to put my head down and do my best.

The best I can with what I was given.

With what I fought to get.

That's me. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go use my moogle to skull-fuck an immortal guardian trying to end time. Just because things are rough, doesn't mean you can't do things that make you happy.

Sam

Keeping myself busy

Yay for Amy! She's following my blog! Probably just to avoid a supernatural voodoo doll attack, but hey I'll take what I can get. Maybe she can convince some other people we know to do the same.

(I'm influential)

I need to clean my pantry cupboard. I went and opened it today and something growled at me, reached an arm out and shut the door. I didn't think the bagels had been in there THAT long.

(I'm a mad scientist)

Sometimes at work, when I'm bored and the exact circumstances present themselves, I am hilarious. If the customer is a friend of mine, or seems reasonably close to my age and also presents themself in a way that shows they might have a sense of humor I drop this bomb on them. But only only ONLY if they pay in cash and only only ONLY if the change is exactly 5 cents. I say, "here's your nickel back...(pregnant pause as I hand over the coin)...no pun intended." 60% of the time, it works every time.

(I'm hilarious...and obviously pretty damn bored at work)

I had a job interview on Tuesday. It means I might be able to stop washing dishes (Damn I hate washing dishes) and there's a chance for decent hours this summer and full time in the fall. The only (glaring problem) is that the job is working in an (slightly higher class than DQ) ice cream joint. I need to take what I can get, but I still wish I could find a job in a place where I'm not competing with high school kids for a job. Or may be have just one job instead of three (even if one doesn't really count....yet)

Who doesn't want to feel like they've accomplished something with their day?

Inspirational music time! If not for this kinda stuff I'd be a gibbering looney.... I mean more than I already am I suppose.



Oh and next week I get to go home and see Jay! And some sort of action/geeky movie! And a comedy show at Yuk Yuks! And THE CRIPPLED GOD (yay new book!).

Jealous? You should just hang out with me more often.

...well maybe not right at this moment cause I seem to be coming down again with whatever the roommates had. I was feeling a bit crappy last week, but super crappy today.

That's me. I blogged today, damn but keeping myself busy is an eternal chore

SpAmmy