A bunch of dummies

Josh is here! Dad went and got him at like 5am this morning. Jay and I were invited but 5am is a little much for us (mostly cause bedtime is like 2). But now the Set is complete.

The Trilogy has been watched.

The Triad is present.

The Trio is singing.

The Tricycle is in the backyard.

The Tri-force has been collected.

The Triangle has all it's sides.

This is us:

And the only people who understand our comedy is us. We are all in the same room, and I can't think of many people who can manage to be with us. Seriously. We've all had exes who hated being around when all three of us were laying into each other. I can only think of one that actually made it through an entire holiday season and still wanted to hang out with us (HI LYSEE). We even drive mum and dad bonkers, and they have to love us.

All we do, and all we want to do, is give each other as much shit as possible. And you know what? It's my favourite part of the holidays. (well mum's baking is right up there too)

You see, with us nothing is off limits. Alliances are made on a whim and broken just as easily. I even told Josh some Jay related stories so he'd have some non-aquatic themed jokes to make at Jay's expense. Jay and I already talked about shit we wanted to "discuss" with our little brother. We come prepared. We team up on each other. We laugh. And then we pick a new target.

The topics are varied and interesting, but usually come down to women. We started this "tradition" in high school. It goes something along the lines of : we talk about having sex with each other's significant others. (HI LYSEE!)

But don't think that just because I've been single for a while, and Jay is recently unattached, that we're left out. Oh no. That would destroy the holidays and the universe might implode. So we tell stories. Some we've told each other before, but it doesn't matter, any chick related story is good enough ammo for someone else to come up with an incredibly offensive (seriously, we go as tasteless as we can make it) barrage of insults.

I should probably apologize to any women who knows me (well for this and a bunch of other reasons I'm sure), cause it's all fair game.

But of course since Jay made a drunken ass of himself multiple times while staying at my place, Josh and I picked on him for a good hour or so. But don't be worried. Everyone gets a turn.

But it's Christmas Eve. Food and baked goods are on the table. Beer is in the fridge. Jay and Josh are in the basement either watching the food network or playing the Wii. Mum is playing cheesy music at a decibel level that rivals aircraft engines. Dad is grazing on the veggies and is most likely sneaking sweets behind mum's back.

It's awesome.

That's me. Jay and Josh are in the basement giggling. It may be my turn and I'm just not there for it.

Sunshine

I just serenaded a black cat. I sang along to the pretty reckless song I posted up here a few days ago that I can't seem to get out of my head. The cat jumped up in front of the computer screen and sat down on the keyboard and the song happened to be playing, so I petted the kitty and sang the song until I moved her. Jay is watching the food network. Mom is either talking to herself, the oven where she is making cookies, or the dog. (possibly all 3 at once). I also just smoked the end of my knee off this goddamn computer desk. I used to do this on a regular basis.

This can only mean one thing.

I'm at my parent's house for the holidays!

Notice how I say "my parent's house" and not "home"? Well it doesn't really feel quite like "home" yet. They've only been here 6 months or so and we've never had everyone get together yet. I can't wait for Josh to get his ass over here! Maybe then? I don't know. It IS people who make a place worth living in and my family only gets together at Christmas time. But I've kinda been thinking of as the place I'm living in Guelph as "home". This is probably why, even with all the shit I'm having to wade through, that I'm trying so hard to stay.

If the terra-cotta sticks to your hair-gel then you shouldn't wear the planter as a hat. I don't want my fifteen minutes of fame to be on America's Most Wanted.

Ombre's going, going, and gone. Hopefully I get a few more lame jokes over facebook before she goes. The going away party was pretty great though, since Becca and Kate pulled out all the stops and went all out. The spread they came up with was over the top, fruits, veggies, cookies, homemade sushi, and some sort of phylo pastry wrapped things that tasted like wonderfulness and sunshine.

Sunshine tastes like happiness, but as happiness can only be found in the arms of a pair of feisty redheads, sunshine is easier to get into food. Trust me (don't), I'm a doctor (am not).

The party was a late night of a bunch of emotional sappy crap. The speech attempts were sweet, the going away plaque thingy (hard to describe, but with pictures of all the housemates and Owen) was thoughtful, the guests happy, and the drinking... ahh the drinking... over the top.

I did rather enjoy Laura's quiz. All the questions started with "Which twin..." and ended with Jay and I arguing. Not hard at all when we're plastered. But the night ended kinda early for me (well when compared with others). Crying chicks calling at 2am will do that to a guy.

The next day was a bit subdued, but was probably to be expected as the "real" goodbyes had to be said. I do have a confession to make. Aubrey was running late (or early maybe?) and asked me to make her bed. Of course I'm fine with this, happy to help out. However I have never made up a duvet cover, so when Meg takes over the room, there may be a lumpy mess on her bed. I think I gave up after 20 minutes or so. That shit is just too complicated for a guy (or a guy with a hangover). I might give it another shot when I get back... if I remember.

Becca and I made up a bunch of requirements for Meg a.k.a. she-who-will-be-taking-over-Ombre's-room. I don't remember a whole lot of em, mostly cause we were wasted and wrote them on Becca's arm with a pen. But I rememeber how worried I was about meeting Becca and now we drunkenly write lists on her arm for fun. So yeah, not terrribly worried about meeting and hanging out with Meg.

...unless she hates Star Trek. Or Star Wars.

Now I'm worried again.

That's me. You're not okay unless you like sci-fi. Or we can influence you to like sci-fi. Data is pronounced Day-tah.

Good People

FINISHED MY LAST FINAL (maybe ever) TODAY

The only reason I can think of that makes my blog prettier than Becca's is the Dallen. Seriously, dragons make everything better; books, video games, blogs, awkward first dates, opera, music videos, other dragons and on the rare occasion, sex.

I think I'm the one on top since I'm all about breathing fire.

The other night I didn't go to bed until after the sun was up. I was all one...more...chapter...oh it's 8:30 in the am and Harry won the book. Hmm I should probably sleep or something huh? It's all fun an games until someone pulls an all nighter that doesn't involve any sex whatsoever. I know. I am lame. But I mostly blame Becca.

You see, I put on a late night movie to send me into the arms of Morpheus, when suddenly Becca comes back from karaoke fro her friend's birthday. I was polite and paused the movie, like I usually do. You know, to be polite. And the next thing I know it's 4 hours later, Becca's making soup and I still haven't finished the last 15minutes of Appleseed. Of course it's probably more my own damn fault that I decided to read a Jim Butcher book after that. It's crack for fantasy geeks.

But seriously Becca is good people. 4 months later and I still find myself unbelievably lucky that I randomly ended up with the people I did. I do have a bad habit of telling anyone who's interested my entire life story, but so far I've avoided it. But it's not often I get to talk about the stuff that happened in Parry Sound that summer. It those kind of nights that make thinking about leaving Guelph difficult. Even if it may be the best thing for me. Bah, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Chipmunks!

Speaking of chipmunks, Aubrey leaves in like 2 days or some shit! That blows! Mostly cause she's such a pushover and can be convinced to go out on a moment's notice to join the drunk people in whatever dumbass plan we have created. Oh and the burping, "that's what she said", and the fact that when she's terribly cruel and mean to me it makes everyone else living in the house amused and happy (and me cry myself to sleep and die a little inside, but nobody really cares about that).

But in all seriousness, we're going to miss her. She's good people. Even if she doesn't do anything with her hair.

And we do get another roommate, and so far that's been good this year, so I'm game. Rumor has it Meg is pretty cool. SHE BETTER BE OR WE"RE GOING TO MAKE HER LIFE A LIVING HELL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I hope she's good people.

Our requirements aren't that bad, if you like any kind of science fiction, drinking and karaoke, you'll fit right in. It's just that I don't get to cackle evilly often.

Music! I've been getting into this band called "The Pretty Reckless" a heckuva lot lately. It has ALMOST nothing to do with he fact that the lead singer is a smoking hot blond who likes to get gothed up. Doesn't usually do it for me, but there it is. I'm pretty much good for anyone who can sit down with a guitar and belt a song out. And boy can she belt. I bet she and Lysee would get along great!

I need to practice more. I have no idea why I find it so difficult some days. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't have a computer and really like the instructional videos on Youtube. It could be because I've kinda been pissing away my days doing nothing lately. Bah. I'm not motivated lately and I hate it when I get like this.

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday. Friday is the going away party for Ombre. We're going to tear the fucking roof off the goddamn house. Like Halloween except I won't show up 4 hours after the party's started. Drunk stories to come!

That's me. If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck, and end with, “And then I got home".

And people say we don't know how to party

So right at the moment there is a full roll of toilet paper flying across the living room punctuating a discussion of what "opposite" things Kate likes that everybody else likes too.

And people say we don't know how to party.

Today has been pretty low-key, but pizza-full. Not terribly productive but pretty satisfying nonetheless. Plus we got both Star Wars and Star Trek. JACKPOT. Little Anakin still pisses everybody off. I knew it wasn't just me. Data is the Terminator.

Well maybe it has been a little productive. But I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that finds making chipmunk jokes to a roommate who's in pain productive. Serves her right for throwing ice at me.

And people say we don't know how to party.



This is Ombre. Well mostly. Picture a little bit of applesauce hanging off the bottom lip of the squirrel and it's pretty much spot on. (she may have gotten her wisdom teeth pulled today). I find the bag of snow confusing but I suppose people are entitled to their eccentricities. After all I do have a bunch of Mr. Potato Head dolls in the shape of Star Wars characters that I can't seem to part with no matter how many times I swear I'm going to light them on fire.

I'm a sucker for knicknacky crap.

So I learned a new game last night. Or rather watched a room full of people who obviously need more creative outlets then they already possess play a game new to me. I can't decide if it was a great game or some sort of weird torture for non-stretchy people (like myself). It's called "bite the bag", and it's almost as painful as it sounds. You put a bag on the ground and then people take turns bending over and picking up the bag with their teeth. However it's not quite that easy. First you cannot touch the ground with anything other than your feet. Obvious, I'm sure. Second, after everyone has picked up the bag you cut a layer off, making the bag smaller and smaller, eventually just leaving a flat piece on the ground.

And people say we don't know how to party.

I am happy the night turned out how it did. At first it was just going to be Jay and I going over to the ladies' house, but we managed to convince literally everyone else from my house to go. And Jay got wasted. So wasted. Drunk dialing his ex and discussing how Chachi is a horse kind of wasted. Announcing to people that he was drunk and how he needed more wine kind of drunk. I'm happy he had a good time. I was more content to sit on a recliner or couch and watch the unfolding events. But I was pretty wasted myself. I definitely need a skull goblet.

And people say we don't know how to party.

I also had some girl drama. But not the fun kind. More the she had a big break-up fight with her boyfriend and needed some "consoling" kind. For some reason she can't get the idea that I don't want anything to be with her. Her second chance was our second date, and while it was memorable, it just ended up showing me a person I believe wouldn't have been good for me to spend time with. The threat to show up at the house at 3am just reinforces this impression.

Girl drama is interesting. Usually. Jay loves the stories, so that's something at least. I think I'd rather just find a nice girl to date. Maybe I should try and get back into the dating world. Well not that I've been out of the dating game for very long. Meh.

So my quest for workable meditation techniques is kinda at a standstill. It's just taking more than quality time with a book or saving the world on the Xbox to keep me level lately. However it was suggested that I try Tai Chi. Apparently it's more about the health and spiritual benefits rather than the martial aspect of what is traditionally considered "martial arts". I think it sounds right up my alley. I know there is a Tai Chi society downtown, and I'm sure I could swing a student rate for classes. I also think I'd like to see if I could convince someone to join me, as that would definitely help motivate me to go to these classes every week. But first we'll see how much this costs and go from there, as I am going to be pretty fucking broke for a while.

Anywho, that's me. Idiot thinks we don't know how to party? I have nothing to prove, but watch for the sirens on Friday.

I am the thoughtful space monkey

When I was working in kitchens during high school I somehow got the nickname "space monkey". I think this monkey is in space.

It took me all of 10 minutes this evening to decide that I regretted not going out and getting hammered outta my tree with roomies and assorted people they know. I didn't go for a bunch dumb reasons. I had a shitty day at work, I made a angry bitch cry, I forgot to return the (awesome) movies I rented, and my sleep schedule is completely and utterly fucked (AGAIN!).

But I got thoughtful and here I am, pouring my heart and soul out to the internet. The place where my feelings on breasts and tequila (or a fun mix of the two) are more well known then pretty much everything else.

That's okay. Tonight we shake it up a bit.

I hate it when I get to using my brain some days. I have a terrible habit to over think things and get lost in my own head. It doesn't happen as much as it used to, but there it is. Ironically, even though I hate being in this place, it's also when I do my best writing. Besides not going out, I also got 1500 words into a brand new short story. But Gah!

Oh and music. Music keeps me sane on nights like this. But for that matter I think I'd be terrible at being insane if I was actually insane. I actually would be better at being insane if I was sane enough to know what I was doing.

Make sense? I don't give a shit. New music.



You'd think that since I can only think of like 5 people who appreciate my taste in much that I'd stop putting up videos I doubt most of my readers would like.

However...you? Think? I doubt it.

I hate how I am so many people and personalities all wrapped into one awesome and not-remotely dragon shaped package. I just don't seem to know where my base line is anymore. I spent so long not being myself that I started not being me without thinking, but now that I don't have to be that way anymore I think I might be overdoing it a tad.

Or that could be because Jay is in town. I've only been able to spend time with him a handful of times in the last few years, so it's usually a bit crazy when we get together. I do love having his dumb ass around. Being as close as twin brothers can be, he can give me a perspective on the shit happening in my life that only someone who understands and hates my sense of humor can give. I could live having that happen more often.

But yeah advice only works if you actually take it. Something I need to work on. Like soon. Or now. Now would probably be better.

The roomies seem to like him too, but I have a suspicion that Becca doesn't approve of our version of "witty banter", which involves us cursing each other out in what we feel is imaginative (but not really) ways. We'll try.

I did kinda get pissed off at him for sharing some stories that I didn't really feel like sharing. It was pretty stupid to get upset though, as I realized that if you go through a bunch of old entries on this very blog (and maybe read between the lines a bit) its all there.

Oops. Feel kinda dumb about that. Heh story of my life.

No girl drama lately. Which is probably good. But slightly boring. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

That's me. I am way too cool to be here on time. Tongue. I can not have tea.

Bad Person

I just whomped an exam. Took me less than an hour. Take that university!

Sometimes when I'm writing (normally or blogging) I write down a sentence, a phrase, maybe an exclamation of some kind and I can distinctly hear a person's voice in my head. It's usually my friends and family, but not every time. It's hard to describe, and it's not on purpose, and it just kinda happens. I just think it's really cool when it does.

Jay is here! He flew in the other day. Literally, There is now a douchebag sized hole in our roof. I wish there was a Josh shaped hole there too.

I'm thinking about putting in a skylight.



But yeah he's here and has been taking up space in my room, eating my food and making a nuisance of himself. Wouldn't have it any other way. I'm happy that (so far) he's getting along with everyone (not that anyone really has been around, it's been like 2 days since I've seen Chachi or Ombre).

I also would probably be pleased if he stopped sharing stories involving myself and the crazy chicks that have made up my dating life, but hey I can't have everything. and it is a little bit funny to hear someone else's perspective on it all. But all in all I'm just happy he's here and not up with the Manatee and her spoiled rotten fuck-up kids anymore.


Pictured above: Jay's ex.

On a related note I've decided to be a bad person today. Of course, how is that different from any other day?... is what Aubrey or Kate or Becca would say if they were around at the moment.

I'm just pissed off at how things turned out with them, mostly cause I was getting attached to the idea of them being together. I kinda liked her. But then she fucked with my family, and there's not a whole lot of us around. Besides if I don't bash my Twin's ex all over the Internet, then who will? Jay? Nope. Josh? Maybe, but he hasn't ever met her. That leaves me. It's a lot of responsibility but I think I can handle it. And it's probbaly theraputic for Jay to see people on his side. So there.

Justification! Well ish.

Lately I've been struggling a bit with what I'm going to do with myself after the holidays. Jay has some rather good ideas (surprised? I know I am!). But yeah just worried. I mean I've been in this place before and I know I'lll make it through, as far as I'm concered making it through is a non-issue. It's just going to be rough and I've had that more often then I like. It just sucks and I don't like it.

Plus, someone mentioned new years. Gah! After last year I think I'll lock myself in a room with pizza, comic books and hunker down and wait it out. Or maybe find someone who's doing something and go out. Or not be in Guelph! I have seriously mixed feelings about New Years. Of course, I belive they're rather well justified. Then again, finding new and varied ways to fuck up my life during the holidays is sort of a past-time of mine.

I miss Lysee. But I changed my phone plan so I don't have to sell body parts to pay my phone bill.

I miss my kidney. Next time maybe I'll use someone else's instead.

Oh and by the way, yes I took Jay's ex off my facebook before I posted this. This blog is only for people I LIKE (and those poor bastards who stumble across it). So if you're reading this feel priviledged. And leave a a comment because I still haven't got into the habit of checking them.

That's me. Also, if you're a chick, leave your cup size. I just like to know.

That's what she said

HELLO CORRINE AND LAURA. Yesterday they read my blog for the first time! Even thought I've known them for months and I'm pretty sure I'm the most interesting person they know. Probably. I hope they read my blog today and fake crazy facebook drama happens.

I've been abusing "that's what she said again". It's so hard to stop. It just gets bigger and bigger and then out of hand. It just makes a huge mess. It hurts me on the inside.

I have a problem.



At least it's a fun problem.

So I was all "I'm going to take it easy and not go out" cause I wanted to wait for Jay. Yeah so far it's not working. But we did have a killer night out last night, and I'm sure I just wanted to celebrate finishing my last paper of the semester.

Yay?

Hmmm.

Yeah, I think yay!

It was incredibly weird being at Vinyl without the girls, but they were having a night in since Trish is getting MOTHERFUCKING married (Yup, not regular married but motherfucking married. I'm sure there's a difference) today! They're just doing a courthouse wedding with close friends and family, but I couldn't be happier for her.

But yeah (not so randomly) went out to a club with the roomies and assorted friends and just killed it all night. It was wonderful. But that may have been the cheap drinks talking. Seriously, $2 beers kick so much ass. And the music was different from the usual house/hip/hop stuff as they ended up playing some Journey and Queen to end off the night! I love having Journey and Queen end off my night! Even if the bouncer didn't time the camera right when we all jumped off the stage when they were kicking us out.

Speaking of bouncers, there was a real asshat one at Jimmy Jazz that got into it with Kate and Becca. That's what you get for letting our friends in to watch the jazz band play and try to ignore us. Asshat.

The bus ride home was so much fun for us, but probably awkward for other people. Specifically the dude we ended up inadvertently surrounding. He was a good sport though. We sang. We sang everything that more than 2 people knew the words to. There was more Disney tunes involved than I was entirely comfortable with. Also I might have "Hey Jude" stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

Good times had by all. Espe ially when we made grilled cheese at 4am. No better time for it as far as I'm concerned.

That's me. I really should be studying.

Mmmm Redheads...

Okay so a whole bunch of stuff has happened in the last few days that are blog-worthy...

...but I just read Becca's blog and I think I'm going to walk around shooting rainbows out of my orifices. Seriously. Made me feel really awesome. Karma IS a can of tuna, the story definitely wouldn't fail on Broadway, LUCK, and I know exactly what you mean by the Medusa reference...I hope.

Aww now I'm all smiley.

I've also had this hardcore Slipknot craving, so I put on grooveshark and away I went. Maybe it's just a Corey Taylor craving cause I put on Stonesour too. Meh, regardless the music I'm listening to right now is a bazillion times better than the music you're listening to right now. Probably.

Umm so my roommates are crazy awesome. They wrote a story dedicated to me with guest appearances by everyone in the house. It was so awesome! it had all my favourite things in it; Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and sideboob! (which was an awesome discussion we had the other night) I also like how they can't post it online cause it would make them seem like terrible, terrible people. They're not though.

Plus Kate gave me a fucking capo for my guitar last night! I don't know where these people came from, but I'm happy I live here. I also love all the secret by-play and plans that go around our house. Pretty much case I haven't been able to come up with any diabolical plans lately.

Almost though. But gah!

I have another "chicks are crazy!" story.

So I went to Karaoke night with Kate, Devin and some of their friends from residence. I planned on (and accomplished) getting wasted and actually going up and singing. Kate and Becca helped me butcher Hey Jude by the Beatles! Drunk fun! But yeah one of the friends was a cute redhead, and I was drunk. Of course I said something. Some friends are going out to a salsa night at a bar downtown and I invited cute redhead. I can't dance if I don't have a partner, duh! So after getting a firm "maybe" she asks for my phone and tells me to give her a call, and even if she doesn't come out to salsa I should giver a call sometime.

JACKPOT!

Alas some things really are too good to be true. She was definitely sexting her boyfriend all night at karaoke.

Strike 1.

Apparently having a boyfriend wouldn't stop her from messing around with me. I was very very sorely tempted but I'm just not that kind of guy. I've tried. I just don't have it in me.

Strike 2.

She also made a pass at a guy while we were outside the bar at the end of the night.

Strike 3, yer out.



But one good thing did come out of this. I've been struggling with whether I preffered blondes or redheads. It's been back and forth for a while, but I can confidently say that I definitly prefer redheads. Just not ones where you have to worry about STIs.

That's me. Dealing with the important issues! My mouth tastes like nasty grape smoke.