I have no idea what I did with my day

Today I had one of those days where I have no idea what I was going to do with my time but man did I ever do the shit out of it.

So I ended up lazy geeking the ever loving hell out of my day. It was a good time. I might do it again tomorrow, but instead eat real food and include other people instead of pizza and on sale valentine's day chocolate and being all by myself.

Now I don't say this like it's a complaint or a bad thing (however it is not something one should do on a weekly basis...like I used to) but this is pretty much the first time since Christmas that I had any time to myself. I've been a bit busy and kinda burnt out.

Time to yourself is a valuable thing, think stuff over. Well in my case it's usually overthink stuff over but I'm getting pretty good at not doing that. But it's nice to stop and catch up on shit you've been meaning to do. Figure out if you're going to complicate your life by shiting where you eat, that sort of stuff. I had a lot of random junk on my mind today.

My hero.
 

Why does pretending to be a dragon feel more satisfying than work? My roommate's cats used to find this terrifying, but now they're cool with it.

Sometimes I sneeze with my whole body. This is rather uncomfortable, but I imagine if some enterprising friend took pictures of this they would turn out all kinds of awesome.

At home growing up, I always got "Samuel" when I was in trouble. A couple women I dated did the same thing. At work nobody ever calls me "Samuel" even if I am in trouble. I'm not sure but I don't think I like this.

Why is it when you have a crush you start using expressions and do stupid shit you'd never do normally. Not even in a "I want to impress you" sort of way but in a "my brain fucking hates me for some reason today" way.

If I got a pet rock nobody would ever take me seriously. Not that people should really take me all that seriously anyway but it'd be another reason. I even have a potential spot picked out on my shelf of random junk that I love.

If I ever get married I'll either start or stop stripping. I'm not sure which. Does getting changed in front of a window that faces nothing count as stripping? What if I do it to music? I just get really happy to be home from work some days. Either way I really should learn how to dance better.

How come Spiderman never shows up no matter how many spiders I eat?

I never grew up. I only got bigger. Well ish. It's more complicated, but this is sorta accurate.

I'm worried that my Mr. Potato Head dolls might be alive. It's not that I don't want them to watch me have sex, I'm just afraid they'd start yelling out encouragement. Or criticism.

That's me. Eventually I will actually talk about things and events and stuff. I just didn't have that much going on today. I fucking loved it.

Sam

You can enslave me, I'm ready

So I've always known there were going to robots at my new job. I was warned beforehand. They even have affectionate names given to them by the staff. Hilarious right? I mean I expected big, loud, testicle-cripplingly dangerous machines, robots aren't that different.

WRONG!

So my first day I almost walked right into one of them. It looks like a giant remote controlled forklift... which is pretty much exactly what it is (awesome powers of perception over here).

WITHOUT THE REMOTE CONTROL!!!

(I think)

I walked by a fenced off area with a sign similar to this.

Makes sense right? Reasonable? Sure! Except I thought I saw...
On my way to break room I accidentally stepped into the path of the giant yellow forklift looking motherfucker of doom. AND IT DIDN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. I swear to god I heard it laugh and flash that creepy green light like it was winking at me or something. I swear this thing is one emotion chip away from killing us all.

But, (thinking critically, mind you) being enslaved by robots might not be that bad. I mean, what are they going to need us for, manual labour? I think not.

Seriously, I surround myself with sarcastic women on a regular basis, and I'm sure having robots rule my life won't be as bad as 2 or 3 of them staring in on me in the not-good-slightly-self-esteem-crippling kind of way, and not the I'll-get-the-handcuffs-and-KY-kind-of-way.

So bring it on robot overlords, take over the world! I'm as ready as women can make me.

That's me. I am under no illusions about why I don't have a girlfriend.

SpAmmy

Good?

Funniest thing I read recently:

"You don't wait for a girl to verbally tell you she likes you. It's the sparkle in her eyes, her posture, the way she grabs your head and shoves your face into her boobs."

I was talking about my dating life with a buddy the other day and we were kinda bitching and whining about how we're both striking out lately, and I read this on an article online earlier that day and dropped it just at the perfect time. We both had a laugh and then decided that women hate us and had a beer. That was a good day.

So on Friday the 13th I came home smelling like sunscreen and dirt and sweat. And that only means one thing... Garden Centre is open! I very much liked it out there last summer and It all came back . That was a good day too.


Actually things are going pretty snazy at both jobs, which, to tell you the truth, is slightly disappointing. It's just that I need a real and full time job rather than jobs I would have been good at in high school. I'm looking, but having a good time at the jobs I have now is just going to make it harder if I hate to quit one (or both). But I'll burn that bridge when I cross it, like I usually do.

So I've been playing chess again, mostly with Jay on Facebook, and that's been fun. Every year or so I go through a chess revival type thing where I want to play all of the freaking time and then get disappointed that I'm not as good as when I was 12 and taking on all comers at a Toronto public library. It's still fun though. I'll try to keep going as much as possible since the internet makes playing very easy. It is good.

(if you like chess and use the chess.com facebook thing my username is Samooel)

Oh and in interesting news, a coworker of mine is having twin girls. Since I'm a twin I think this is super awesome. She will also probably think it's awesome until she discovers that the evil/good twin concept is a real thing. I'm definitely the evil one. Jay agrees. In fact, pretty much anyone who knows the both of us agree with this. For example, tonight at work I bribed 2 of my coworkers with pizza to dance and sing the "cha-cha slide" in front of customers. Not that good, but for a reason.

Cause that's how I roll bitchez.

I've also been kinda nervousy and shit lately. There's a bit of a dilemma I have to work out, but suffice to say, there is a girl I'm kinda interested in. And no more shall be said on the subject.

For now.

And Jay has some good ideas.

That is all.

Potentially good.


I also finished season 6 of How I Met Your Mother (super awesome show, if you have a sense of humor you should check it out) and need a new TV show to watch. I'm thinking BattleStar Galactica, since I'm a huge geek and I've heard good things.

Anyway, that's me. Shit where I eat?

SpAmmy