Top 5 things I refuse to put into my mouth

Top 5 things I refuse to put into my mouth:

1) Batteries (tastes funny)

2) Deodorant (tastes funny)

3) V8 fusion (tastes funny)

4) Shoe polish (tastes funny)

5) Underpants (tastes funny, also edible underpants aren't as fun as you'd think)

Note: I very easily could have done a less PG rated version... but I didn't

So I have officially met all my roommates. None of them are living here yet so I still have the place to myself. Also, none of them seem like they're going to cut off my skin and wear me like a costume. I can't decide if this makes them boring or not... however I don't think I'd like to be costume.

"It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!"

I think I'll still lock my door at night just in case.

I've been reading some of Dr. Dennis Leary lately and he make some amazing points. In a group of women, at any age, there's always some sort of "Alpha" chick in terms of attractiveness and they all know it. Some of them even strive to be the "hot" one among their friends. I have personally witnessed some weird shit having to do with this very topic. It definitely made living in residence more entertaining.

Guys don't have that. Guys don't know which of their buddies are attractive until we see the ways women react to them. Mostly cause we don't really give a shit. Even when we do find out, it's more of a "how can I use this to my advantage" thing. If one guy is cleaning up with the ladies, you can be damn sure his friends are going to get his help to get in on the action. Funny thing is that "attractive" guy is going to help, cause he doesn't give a shit if he's the "hot one" as much as "can I still drink 3 more beers then anyone I know before I have to piss at the bar".

I mean seriously, you think that Luke, Han, Lando and Chewie were worried about who could get the ladies (my vote's probably Chewbacca). NO! They were too busy doing shots of Corellian whiskey and making bets on how many Tie Fighters they could shoot down with the Falcon's quad turrets. The loser probably had to wash the ship or clean the droids while wearing Leia's gold bikini.

Speaking of gold bikinis, want to know why Leia was the only chick to hang out with all the boys on the Falcon? Cause she's a PRINCESS. She had to be the hot chick and she couldn't risk any other piece of ass on the ship to risk her standing. Princesses have to be the hottest chick on the starship. I'm pretty sure it's a rule. Not that I could tell you where the rule is written down as that's very much a chick thing.

I'll do some research and share my thoughts on the "women's rulebook" some other day.

That's me. Go watch High Fidelity

"Its not the end of the world
In fact its not even the end of the summer"

P.S. I hope no one starts screaming about sexism or think I'm bashing the fairer sex. I have almost exclusively female friends. Want to know one thing they share in common?

A sense of humor.