SHOUT OUT TO BUB! I recently became a follower on her blog (I'd like to hold a Tarantula) and she returned the favor. Check it out!

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We're having Man Talk today.

As a guy my laundry schedule revolves around the amount of clean boxers I have available. It has nothing to do with the availability of pants, t-shirts or other articles that can be worn multiple times. A laundry schedule also has nothing to do with time. It all comes down to the boxers.

However with some recent weight loss some of my boxers have started not to fit, and this is soon to cause a crisis as I don't feel laundry every 4 or 5 days is necessary for a person living on their own. But this in turn, cause another problem.

Shopping

I hate shopping. I usually bribe a chick with lunch or booze when I need to go shopping. However I can't take a chick boxer shopping as they don't know the particularities, but I can't take a buddy, as I don't have many. Plus guys don't shop for underwear together. Ever. Period.

Okay I'm not huge giant of a man. I am 6ft tall and have size 12 shoes. And yet for some reason I can't shop at the Mall. How is it that the XXL size shirts at some men's clothing stores won't even go over my head. Okay yes I'm a chubby guy, but shouldn't the sizes be the same regardless of the store? Some places I'm a large, some I'm and XXXL. And how come I always see people twice my size shopping at places and walking out with bags full of stuff when I can't even find a t-shirt? This baffles me.

Okay moving on to body hair.

I shave my own back. And manscape. It's a logistical nightmare as I'm not that bendy. I DO have double jointed elbows but they're not as useful as people seem to think. As for the rest of it, well I'm pretty much all hair. It's a even covering that starts at my feet and ends at my head. The one on my shoulders. But it's still a lot of effort that should be appreciated.

One time I got my eyebrows waxed. That night was a pretty happy Spammy night, but that was painful! And the top of my face was red and blotchy for hours. It'll take some serious cleavage/convincing to get me to try that again! Also forget about waxing anywhere else as far as I'm concerned.

I'm pretty okay with being a Wookie thank you very much.

Names I like being called:

Sam
Sammy
Spammy
Spamalanthalas
Samooel
SamSam

Names I sometimes like being called:

Mr Harding
Samuel
Brother
Bro
Sir

Names I don't like being called:

Buddy
Sport
Champ
Pal
Hey you

I wish I could write a memo to all the douche bags that come through the till at work. Oh and there's this one lady at work that calls me Sammie cause that's what she calls her daughter (real name Samantha). What the hell? I'm pretty sure I don't remind you of your daughter.

Also that guy that says he has his own airplane pisses me off. His wife told me he didn't, it's that he hates being asked if he has an Air Miles card. Asshat.

That's me. No girl drama! However the night is young.