Top five things I wish I said more often:
1) "No sex tonight honey, I'm tired from all the sex we had during the day"
2) "You shall pay for your insolence!"
3) "Your thoughts betray you Sith, your skills are no match for a true Jedi!"
4) "I don't need another raise, why don't you give that money to a charity."
5) "I'm sorry about the argument Wolverine, but there's no reason to be scared of me. Let me buy you a beer and we can talk it out."
I'm not going to apologize for wanting to be a Jedi or have Mutant powers that would scare the coolest X-man.
If I had the power to turn people into animals I bet a lot of my ex girlfriends would be goats.
Oh wait.
They already are.
Teeheeheehee
If I was the sole survivor of a xenomorph (the aliens in the Aliens movie series) attack and I had to go back to the planet where it happened, I wouldn't wait until halfway through the mission, with half of the marine escort dead, to learn how to use a pulse rifle.
If I was a star that had fallen to the earth, I would definitely fall in love with the first girl to show up, but only if she took me on the adventure of a lifetime.
If I was an assassin that had to go to my 10th high school reunion, I wouldn't forget to bring a gun, just in case a rival hitman showed up to try and take me out.
If I was in a dodge ball tournament in Vegas I wouldn't wear ass-less chaps.
If I was stuck in a hidden temple in the Arctic filled with 2 sets of extraterrestrial beings intent on annihilating each other, I'd probably have to change my pants.
If I was the owner of a record store I would not hire Jack Black. You just know he's not going to end up in retail.
If I was the buff leader of a country full of legendary warriors, I would probably wear more than a cape and a loincloth. (I'd definitely keep the cape though)
If I had to escort a hardened criminal to a train station, I wouldn't go to the closest train station. I'd go to one that was a little less obvious.
If I had to watch kids on a regular basis I would probably try to watch my language. But I'd so play LAIRE. (Live Action Interactive Roleplaying Explorers)
That's me. I have watched SO MANY movies the last few days. I can't even remember em all.
"I'm stuck in a coma,
stuck in a never ending sleep.
One day I will wake up
and realize I made up everything."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Top 5 things I refuse to put into my mouth
Top 5 things I refuse to put into my mouth:
1) Batteries (tastes funny)
2) Deodorant (tastes funny)
3) V8 fusion (tastes funny)
4) Shoe polish (tastes funny)
5) Underpants (tastes funny, also edible underpants aren't as fun as you'd think)
Note: I very easily could have done a less PG rated version... but I didn't
So I have officially met all my roommates. None of them are living here yet so I still have the place to myself. Also, none of them seem like they're going to cut off my skin and wear me like a costume. I can't decide if this makes them boring or not... however I don't think I'd like to be costume.
"It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!"
I think I'll still lock my door at night just in case.
I've been reading some of Dr. Dennis Leary lately and he make some amazing points. In a group of women, at any age, there's always some sort of "Alpha" chick in terms of attractiveness and they all know it. Some of them even strive to be the "hot" one among their friends. I have personally witnessed some weird shit having to do with this very topic. It definitely made living in residence more entertaining.
Guys don't have that. Guys don't know which of their buddies are attractive until we see the ways women react to them. Mostly cause we don't really give a shit. Even when we do find out, it's more of a "how can I use this to my advantage" thing. If one guy is cleaning up with the ladies, you can be damn sure his friends are going to get his help to get in on the action. Funny thing is that "attractive" guy is going to help, cause he doesn't give a shit if he's the "hot one" as much as "can I still drink 3 more beers then anyone I know before I have to piss at the bar".
I mean seriously, you think that Luke, Han, Lando and Chewie were worried about who could get the ladies (my vote's probably Chewbacca). NO! They were too busy doing shots of Corellian whiskey and making bets on how many Tie Fighters they could shoot down with the Falcon's quad turrets. The loser probably had to wash the ship or clean the droids while wearing Leia's gold bikini.
Speaking of gold bikinis, want to know why Leia was the only chick to hang out with all the boys on the Falcon? Cause she's a PRINCESS. She had to be the hot chick and she couldn't risk any other piece of ass on the ship to risk her standing. Princesses have to be the hottest chick on the starship. I'm pretty sure it's a rule. Not that I could tell you where the rule is written down as that's very much a chick thing.
I'll do some research and share my thoughts on the "women's rulebook" some other day.
That's me. Go watch High Fidelity
"Its not the end of the world
In fact its not even the end of the summer"
P.S. I hope no one starts screaming about sexism or think I'm bashing the fairer sex. I have almost exclusively female friends. Want to know one thing they share in common?
A sense of humor.
1) Batteries (tastes funny)
2) Deodorant (tastes funny)
3) V8 fusion (tastes funny)
4) Shoe polish (tastes funny)
5) Underpants (tastes funny, also edible underpants aren't as fun as you'd think)
Note: I very easily could have done a less PG rated version... but I didn't
So I have officially met all my roommates. None of them are living here yet so I still have the place to myself. Also, none of them seem like they're going to cut off my skin and wear me like a costume. I can't decide if this makes them boring or not... however I don't think I'd like to be costume.
"It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!"
I think I'll still lock my door at night just in case.
I've been reading some of Dr. Dennis Leary lately and he make some amazing points. In a group of women, at any age, there's always some sort of "Alpha" chick in terms of attractiveness and they all know it. Some of them even strive to be the "hot" one among their friends. I have personally witnessed some weird shit having to do with this very topic. It definitely made living in residence more entertaining.
Guys don't have that. Guys don't know which of their buddies are attractive until we see the ways women react to them. Mostly cause we don't really give a shit. Even when we do find out, it's more of a "how can I use this to my advantage" thing. If one guy is cleaning up with the ladies, you can be damn sure his friends are going to get his help to get in on the action. Funny thing is that "attractive" guy is going to help, cause he doesn't give a shit if he's the "hot one" as much as "can I still drink 3 more beers then anyone I know before I have to piss at the bar".
I mean seriously, you think that Luke, Han, Lando and Chewie were worried about who could get the ladies (my vote's probably Chewbacca). NO! They were too busy doing shots of Corellian whiskey and making bets on how many Tie Fighters they could shoot down with the Falcon's quad turrets. The loser probably had to wash the ship or clean the droids while wearing Leia's gold bikini.
Speaking of gold bikinis, want to know why Leia was the only chick to hang out with all the boys on the Falcon? Cause she's a PRINCESS. She had to be the hot chick and she couldn't risk any other piece of ass on the ship to risk her standing. Princesses have to be the hottest chick on the starship. I'm pretty sure it's a rule. Not that I could tell you where the rule is written down as that's very much a chick thing.
I'll do some research and share my thoughts on the "women's rulebook" some other day.
That's me. Go watch High Fidelity
"Its not the end of the world
In fact its not even the end of the summer"
P.S. I hope no one starts screaming about sexism or think I'm bashing the fairer sex. I have almost exclusively female friends. Want to know one thing they share in common?
A sense of humor.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Eat socks and die!
Top Five things to do with socks.
1) Wear them (duh!)
2) Make puppets out of them (cheap entertainment)
3) Fill them with stuff to hit people with (I think I saw this on Prison Break one time)
4) Use them as an emergency bandage (I can't be bothered to get band-aids)
5) Tie an unsuspecting victim's socks together and watch as they stumble and fall when they try to walk. (Jay used to do this to me all the time growing up)
I have issues with socks, always have apparently. I went and bought some today... now I can't find them. 6 pairs of black men's socks completely disappeared. I think I give up on socks.
I think that if a witch turned me into a goat I'd probably be less picky about food. However I probably couldn't wear a cape without wanting to eat it.
I want to wear a cape.
I happen to be one of those people who think stuff means stuff. You know, movies, song lyrics, the attention of small fuzzy animals, etc. I've spent most of the last 2 weeks going through Josh and Meg's movie collection. Not terribly productive I know, but making me feel better about all the weirdness and stuff lately. I love to watch movies. Always have, always will.
I met Brad, the roomie. He seems cool. I also met Amy. She seems cool too. However I'm not all that sure if her name really is Amy. I still have the place to myself for another week or so.
I suppose this means that I have a week and then I'll have to look up porn with the door closed.
I know a lot of girls named Melissa. I met another one today. She used to live in the room I now occupy. Also she gave me a shelf. I needed a shelf.
I found some evanescence songs I've never heard before. I'm such a sucker for sappy emotional shit. Also I'm sucker for redheads, witty banter, cleavage, light sabers, shiny stuff, magical swords, dragons and cool blogs.
That's me. Hell if I know what I'm talking about. Smegma.
"And this is who I am when,
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when
It's all left up to me"
1) Wear them (duh!)
2) Make puppets out of them (cheap entertainment)
3) Fill them with stuff to hit people with (I think I saw this on Prison Break one time)
4) Use them as an emergency bandage (I can't be bothered to get band-aids)
5) Tie an unsuspecting victim's socks together and watch as they stumble and fall when they try to walk. (Jay used to do this to me all the time growing up)
I have issues with socks, always have apparently. I went and bought some today... now I can't find them. 6 pairs of black men's socks completely disappeared. I think I give up on socks.
I think that if a witch turned me into a goat I'd probably be less picky about food. However I probably couldn't wear a cape without wanting to eat it.
I want to wear a cape.
I happen to be one of those people who think stuff means stuff. You know, movies, song lyrics, the attention of small fuzzy animals, etc. I've spent most of the last 2 weeks going through Josh and Meg's movie collection. Not terribly productive I know, but making me feel better about all the weirdness and stuff lately. I love to watch movies. Always have, always will.
I met Brad, the roomie. He seems cool. I also met Amy. She seems cool too. However I'm not all that sure if her name really is Amy. I still have the place to myself for another week or so.
I suppose this means that I have a week and then I'll have to look up porn with the door closed.
I know a lot of girls named Melissa. I met another one today. She used to live in the room I now occupy. Also she gave me a shelf. I needed a shelf.
I found some evanescence songs I've never heard before. I'm such a sucker for sappy emotional shit. Also I'm sucker for redheads, witty banter, cleavage, light sabers, shiny stuff, magical swords, dragons and cool blogs.
That's me. Hell if I know what I'm talking about. Smegma.
"And this is who I am when,
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when
It's all left up to me"
Saturday, August 28, 2010
OH LOOK A TITLE!
I put a title on my blog entry! This excites me more than it possibly should, but as that is the mood I am in I think that's going to be fine and dandy.
Yay for reading my Ode to Tacos aloud!
I am such a sucker for redheads.
I wish I was not the only person that I could rely on to keep me from insanity.
I love pussy (not a sexual euphemism)
I love pussy (definitely a sexual euphemism)
If you look closely there is a subtle difference. (no there isn't)
I never get to say "YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE"
I'm not sure what the problem is with me and socks. Today it was pointed out that they were mismatched. How did I miss that? It's not even as if it was a subtle difference. Left foot was white and right foot was black.
I thought I got roommates today. Nope. Just their crap.
That was a mirror, not another person.
I am all over the fucking place this week.
Phil is so going after her with a paintbrush.
I have newspaper!
I hate these dreams.
If I was Batman I'd put Catwoman on a leash.
If I was Batman I'd start a band called "Batshit Crazy".
If I was Batman I'd ninja a douchebag in the face.
If I was Batman, I'd be motherfucking Batman.
If Jay really did buy me Batman boxers that would please me greatly.
I laughed because you asked me if I thought you were talking too much. I laughed because you even felt the need to ask. I laughed at the sheer absurdity of the question. Your tears have stained my shoulders. I have seen you go through every emotion imaginable, and some unimaginable. If I have a problem with what you're saying I will say something. I laughed because you ask me questions like every time we speak.
I was happier at work this week then I was anywhere else.
Canada Post is out to get me.
I really should get rid of those Mr. Potato heads.
I need to get a Postcard.
I'm coming undone.
I like rice but I'm not a fan of wine. I'm still going to try sake.
I hate how the only people I trust aren't here.
I am not going to bend over for OSAP again. This is what I fucking want, this is what I've seen myself doing. I don't care what it means to you because I know what it means to me. I will NOT be backing down.
I'm trying so hard not to call Ally. Even if I know in my soul it's for the best.
There's a reason every guy wants to be Han Solo and not Luke Skywalker.
Cause you know Princess Leia kept the bikini for when she wanted Han to take her to the Opera or some shit.
I want an X-wing.
What the hell is an "Aluminum Falcon"?
Back-up plans are my specialty.
Fat kitty cats like me.
Grosse Point Blank is that rare movie that is an equal cross of comedy, action and chick flick.
Urban dictionary definitions.
Samuel- A guy who is really sweet and amazing.
Sam - Sam means the name of one person who is: Super At Masturbation
Spammy - Adjective. Having the qualities/likeness of spam. See spam.
Sam I am - Character out of the Dr. Seuss classic 'green eggs and ham' who tries to encourage the other nameless character to eat green eggs and ham.
It all fits. Perfectly.
I could do this forever.
That's me. I hope. If it's not me someone let me know.
"Time after time, I walk the fine line.
Something keeps bringing me back"
Yay for reading my Ode to Tacos aloud!
I am such a sucker for redheads.
I wish I was not the only person that I could rely on to keep me from insanity.
I love pussy (not a sexual euphemism)
I love pussy (definitely a sexual euphemism)
If you look closely there is a subtle difference. (no there isn't)
I never get to say "YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE"
I'm not sure what the problem is with me and socks. Today it was pointed out that they were mismatched. How did I miss that? It's not even as if it was a subtle difference. Left foot was white and right foot was black.
I thought I got roommates today. Nope. Just their crap.
That was a mirror, not another person.
I am all over the fucking place this week.
Phil is so going after her with a paintbrush.
I have newspaper!
I hate these dreams.
If I was Batman I'd put Catwoman on a leash.
If I was Batman I'd start a band called "Batshit Crazy".
If I was Batman I'd ninja a douchebag in the face.
If I was Batman, I'd be motherfucking Batman.
If Jay really did buy me Batman boxers that would please me greatly.
I laughed because you asked me if I thought you were talking too much. I laughed because you even felt the need to ask. I laughed at the sheer absurdity of the question. Your tears have stained my shoulders. I have seen you go through every emotion imaginable, and some unimaginable. If I have a problem with what you're saying I will say something. I laughed because you ask me questions like every time we speak.
I was happier at work this week then I was anywhere else.
Canada Post is out to get me.
I really should get rid of those Mr. Potato heads.
I need to get a Postcard.
I'm coming undone.
I like rice but I'm not a fan of wine. I'm still going to try sake.
I hate how the only people I trust aren't here.
I am not going to bend over for OSAP again. This is what I fucking want, this is what I've seen myself doing. I don't care what it means to you because I know what it means to me. I will NOT be backing down.
I'm trying so hard not to call Ally. Even if I know in my soul it's for the best.
There's a reason every guy wants to be Han Solo and not Luke Skywalker.
Cause you know Princess Leia kept the bikini for when she wanted Han to take her to the Opera or some shit.
I want an X-wing.
What the hell is an "Aluminum Falcon"?
Back-up plans are my specialty.
Fat kitty cats like me.
Grosse Point Blank is that rare movie that is an equal cross of comedy, action and chick flick.
Urban dictionary definitions.
Samuel- A guy who is really sweet and amazing.
Sam - Sam means the name of one person who is: Super At Masturbation
Spammy - Adjective. Having the qualities/likeness of spam. See spam.
Sam I am - Character out of the Dr. Seuss classic 'green eggs and ham' who tries to encourage the other nameless character to eat green eggs and ham.
It all fits. Perfectly.
I could do this forever.
That's me. I hope. If it's not me someone let me know.
"Time after time, I walk the fine line.
Something keeps bringing me back"
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A tribute to tacos:
Tacos are neat and so full of meat
Cheesy as hell, they come in a shell
Dripping with cream they make you scream
All cheesy and gooey they make you go pooey
I love tacos
Guess what I had for dinner?
Awesome stuff makes me happy. I find that it encompasses a few things things:
1) Stuff I already like
2) Stuff I don't know I like yet, but I will when I find out how awesome it is
3) Boobs (yes they deserve their own category)
I don't understand why people look at me funny when I talk about sex. I like sex. I like having sex. I like pretending to have sex. I like talking about sex. I'm a 25 year old male. I'm not going to apologize for wanting to get my dick wet from time to time. Does that make me a pig? I don't know and I don't particularly care. Is sex my reason for existence? Is it the be all and end all of who I am and what I want to accomplish? No. It's fun. I'm not going to go around pretending I'm a chaste, respectable, intellectual type when I'm not.
I'm a shy, geeky, goofy, chubby, smart mouthed motherfucker who likes to drink and get laid. I'm not going to be held responsible because you had a different idea of who I am.
Yay for mini rants!
I'm not good at a lot of stuff. I'm not good at discussing shoes. I'm not good at being a ninja. But I have one very useful talent. I am amazing at getting yelled at. I've been yelled at by family members, complete strangers, friends, ex-girlfriends, women I've dated, customers, people on the phone, an ex lawyer, this one asshat in the army, tons of people. I can't even say all of it was undeserved.
This also ties into another thing I'm good at. Silently cursing someone out in my head while maintaining a neutral or contrite expression.
Trust me everyone. I'm a professional.
Oh and blond HMV girl got the "phone call". Apparently it's respectable that, when I don't want to keep dating a girl, I call her and tell her I don't want to see her anymore. She said she kinda saw it coming. Then she cried a lot and cursed me out. Rumor has it most guys just stop calling for no reason. I can't say that thought doesn't appeal to me. Crying women are NOT my speciality. Well I usually do okay. Unless it's my fault. At which point I die a little inside, rethink every word I've said in the past 24 hours and try to find a way to make it better. Erm... doesn't always happen.
You'd think with all the awkward phone calls I've had to make in the last 6 months that I'd be a soft touch at this by now.
Nope.
Anyways.
I'm slightly worried that I'm going to freak out this weekend. With all the excitement of getting 90% of all my going to university shit figured out I almost forgot that I'm going to have roommates starting on Saturday and possibly but maybe not ending 8 months from now.
I have this bad habit I'm trying to fix, where I run the fuck away when things get weird or awkward.
It's just going to be an interesting transition. I have been here for more than 2 months effectively by myself. I did have Jon, but he spent all his time being not in the house.
Of course in about 2 1/2 weeks I'll have another interesting transition that I'm also freaking out about. A little. When I start first year-university as a mature student.
I imagine I'm going to spend a lot of effort trying not to be a quivering ball of restless nervousness.
Which is fine, as at the moment, I'm putting a lot of (mostly) wasted effort into developing mutant powers. Or super powers. Or magic powers. Powers of any kind really.
I'm having a weird week.
That's me./ I'll be everyone's friend when I can make tacos... with my mind.
"But I move too slow and I think too fast
And the first rainbow I see will be the last."
Tacos are neat and so full of meat
Cheesy as hell, they come in a shell
Dripping with cream they make you scream
All cheesy and gooey they make you go pooey
I love tacos
Guess what I had for dinner?
Awesome stuff makes me happy. I find that it encompasses a few things things:
1) Stuff I already like
2) Stuff I don't know I like yet, but I will when I find out how awesome it is
3) Boobs (yes they deserve their own category)
I don't understand why people look at me funny when I talk about sex. I like sex. I like having sex. I like pretending to have sex. I like talking about sex. I'm a 25 year old male. I'm not going to apologize for wanting to get my dick wet from time to time. Does that make me a pig? I don't know and I don't particularly care. Is sex my reason for existence? Is it the be all and end all of who I am and what I want to accomplish? No. It's fun. I'm not going to go around pretending I'm a chaste, respectable, intellectual type when I'm not.
I'm a shy, geeky, goofy, chubby, smart mouthed motherfucker who likes to drink and get laid. I'm not going to be held responsible because you had a different idea of who I am.
Yay for mini rants!
I'm not good at a lot of stuff. I'm not good at discussing shoes. I'm not good at being a ninja. But I have one very useful talent. I am amazing at getting yelled at. I've been yelled at by family members, complete strangers, friends, ex-girlfriends, women I've dated, customers, people on the phone, an ex lawyer, this one asshat in the army, tons of people. I can't even say all of it was undeserved.
This also ties into another thing I'm good at. Silently cursing someone out in my head while maintaining a neutral or contrite expression.
Trust me everyone. I'm a professional.
Oh and blond HMV girl got the "phone call". Apparently it's respectable that, when I don't want to keep dating a girl, I call her and tell her I don't want to see her anymore. She said she kinda saw it coming. Then she cried a lot and cursed me out. Rumor has it most guys just stop calling for no reason. I can't say that thought doesn't appeal to me. Crying women are NOT my speciality. Well I usually do okay. Unless it's my fault. At which point I die a little inside, rethink every word I've said in the past 24 hours and try to find a way to make it better. Erm... doesn't always happen.
You'd think with all the awkward phone calls I've had to make in the last 6 months that I'd be a soft touch at this by now.
Nope.
Anyways.
I'm slightly worried that I'm going to freak out this weekend. With all the excitement of getting 90% of all my going to university shit figured out I almost forgot that I'm going to have roommates starting on Saturday and possibly but maybe not ending 8 months from now.
I have this bad habit I'm trying to fix, where I run the fuck away when things get weird or awkward.
It's just going to be an interesting transition. I have been here for more than 2 months effectively by myself. I did have Jon, but he spent all his time being not in the house.
Of course in about 2 1/2 weeks I'll have another interesting transition that I'm also freaking out about. A little. When I start first year-university as a mature student.
I imagine I'm going to spend a lot of effort trying not to be a quivering ball of restless nervousness.
Which is fine, as at the moment, I'm putting a lot of (mostly) wasted effort into developing mutant powers. Or super powers. Or magic powers. Powers of any kind really.
I'm having a weird week.
That's me./ I'll be everyone's friend when I can make tacos... with my mind.
"But I move too slow and I think too fast
And the first rainbow I see will be the last."
Friday, August 20, 2010
So I like to change how my blog looks from time to time, sue me.
So the blackmail turned out awesomely, Jay is now a follower. HI JAY! However this may not be a good thing, since now that I know how effective manipulating my brother went, I might want to try again. For example, I could say, hypothetically mind you, that he should find me 3 more followers for my blog or I could relate his "stop kicking me story" to the whole world.
You have a week.
Oh and I'm going to look for the D2 disks tonight.
Now that the Business portion of today blog has been completed, let's move on to Lifestyle.
I was kinda having a crappy day, but I found out Mum and Dad were going to be in town to see Josh, and I was invited along. I was debating on whether or not to go since I was all blargh, but in the end I caught a ride from Dad over there.
Fucking worth it.
Sitting on the porch just chilling and throwing that soccer ball at Josh was absolutely the fucking thing I needed. Made me miss Jay terribly though.
And I got so much geeky love from everybody today. Yay for Josh and Meg and Trishie, I should be set till University starts. Yay for geeky friends with too much geeky stuff!
Now from Lifestyle to Dating,
Second date went okay, then really awesome, then really pear shaped (for some reason people don't know that pear shaped = bad). Dinner was nice, coffee afterwards was nice, her inviting herself to my empty place was nice, me alleging that the DVD player in the living room was broken and that the one in my room was in good working order was nice (and smart!), and her spending the night was nice. It was nice 4 times that night and once in the morning.
But it was in the morning that things went south. I was feeling pretty good about the whole situation (I doubt anyone can blame me) and then the longer we talked, the more uncomfortable I got. I like this girl, she's cute, thinks I'm funny for some reason, likes Boston Legal, has a marvelous ass , thinks geeky = cute, what's not to like?
Well she's a self admitted door-mat.
Wait.
What?
Yeah she said it straight out. The more questions I asked the more it came out. She's passive, submissive, she has no edge, no passion. She's in school because her parents are paying for it and not from any real interest. The reason her friends tagged along on date #1is because she couldn't tell them no. She has no real ambitions and hates to travel.
I know what I like now, and I know what I'm looking for and unfortunately that's not it. Not even a close, not even a little. Yes, sex is fun (and seriously, what an ass!) but I'm looking for more than that. I'd like someone who pushes back, will tell me when she thinks I'm wrong (and at the time, not 2 weeks later after she debates it with her parents). Some I don't have to worry about introducing to my brothers or the girls.
In short, she's not the girl. Not even one I'd like to keep dating.
That's me.
"Like the poison in her arms, like a whisper she was gone, like an Angel... Angels fall"
So the blackmail turned out awesomely, Jay is now a follower. HI JAY! However this may not be a good thing, since now that I know how effective manipulating my brother went, I might want to try again. For example, I could say, hypothetically mind you, that he should find me 3 more followers for my blog or I could relate his "stop kicking me story" to the whole world.
You have a week.
Oh and I'm going to look for the D2 disks tonight.
Now that the Business portion of today blog has been completed, let's move on to Lifestyle.
I was kinda having a crappy day, but I found out Mum and Dad were going to be in town to see Josh, and I was invited along. I was debating on whether or not to go since I was all blargh, but in the end I caught a ride from Dad over there.
Fucking worth it.
Sitting on the porch just chilling and throwing that soccer ball at Josh was absolutely the fucking thing I needed. Made me miss Jay terribly though.
And I got so much geeky love from everybody today. Yay for Josh and Meg and Trishie, I should be set till University starts. Yay for geeky friends with too much geeky stuff!
Now from Lifestyle to Dating,
Second date went okay, then really awesome, then really pear shaped (for some reason people don't know that pear shaped = bad). Dinner was nice, coffee afterwards was nice, her inviting herself to my empty place was nice, me alleging that the DVD player in the living room was broken and that the one in my room was in good working order was nice (and smart!), and her spending the night was nice. It was nice 4 times that night and once in the morning.
But it was in the morning that things went south. I was feeling pretty good about the whole situation (I doubt anyone can blame me) and then the longer we talked, the more uncomfortable I got. I like this girl, she's cute, thinks I'm funny for some reason, likes Boston Legal, has a marvelous ass , thinks geeky = cute, what's not to like?
Well she's a self admitted door-mat.
Wait.
What?
Yeah she said it straight out. The more questions I asked the more it came out. She's passive, submissive, she has no edge, no passion. She's in school because her parents are paying for it and not from any real interest. The reason her friends tagged along on date #1is because she couldn't tell them no. She has no real ambitions and hates to travel.
I know what I like now, and I know what I'm looking for and unfortunately that's not it. Not even a close, not even a little. Yes, sex is fun (and seriously, what an ass!) but I'm looking for more than that. I'd like someone who pushes back, will tell me when she thinks I'm wrong (and at the time, not 2 weeks later after she debates it with her parents). Some I don't have to worry about introducing to my brothers or the girls.
In short, she's not the girl. Not even one I'd like to keep dating.
That's me.
"Like the poison in her arms, like a whisper she was gone, like an Angel... Angels fall"
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wanna hear a really funny story? But slightly embarrassing for Jay, which is the point since he was being an ass hat.
The first time My twin brother french kissed a girl, he bit her tongue. It also happened the next time as well. He was known as "Bitey" for years afterwords. Let's all remind him!
Hey Jay, I have a public forum that I can dedicate to your embarrassment. Follow my fucking blog! I can make it worse. I'll give you a few days and then we'll see if we have to keep doing this.
Sorry that all you innocent (probably not, but as far as I know) bystanders got caught up in that. I'm just turning a slightly private dispute into a slightly public one. Isn't the Internet grand?
Holy crap am I craving dead raw fish with rice, soy sauce and wasabi. Time for a phone call!
Dammit, while phone call was fun no sushi for the time being.
I'm going to the gym with Darth Frankenstein.
I'm back from the gym.
Now I smell. I'm going to shower.
I remember a question I had so I'm going to call Melissa back.
I think it's funny that while I keep interrupting myself tonight nobody else sees the huge time gaps in between sentences.
YAY!! IT LOOKS LIVER AND ERIC MIGHT BE COMING TO TOWN!!
Dare I hope for some shlushee walking? Probably not as it looks like it's going to be a big event but that's fine as I miss them. I also miss big group things. I like having stuff to look forward to.
HOLY CRAP today is a good day for emails.
Manda took me up on my offer! A little bit surprised about that, but quite pleased.
Tomorrow I work and have a date. Date number 2 with girl from bad date number 1. I got convinced. Stupid manipulative friends trying to be all helpful and reasonable and shit. I like being unreasonable some days. I suppose it has been long enough... and first dates aren't necessarily the be all and end all when you throw in a good phone call or two.
That's me. Unreasonable as I may be sometimes, I still try to have a lot of fun.
The first time My twin brother french kissed a girl, he bit her tongue. It also happened the next time as well. He was known as "Bitey" for years afterwords. Let's all remind him!
Hey Jay, I have a public forum that I can dedicate to your embarrassment. Follow my fucking blog! I can make it worse. I'll give you a few days and then we'll see if we have to keep doing this.
Sorry that all you innocent (probably not, but as far as I know) bystanders got caught up in that. I'm just turning a slightly private dispute into a slightly public one. Isn't the Internet grand?
Holy crap am I craving dead raw fish with rice, soy sauce and wasabi. Time for a phone call!
Dammit, while phone call was fun no sushi for the time being.
I'm going to the gym with Darth Frankenstein.
I'm back from the gym.
Now I smell. I'm going to shower.
I remember a question I had so I'm going to call Melissa back.
I think it's funny that while I keep interrupting myself tonight nobody else sees the huge time gaps in between sentences.
YAY!! IT LOOKS LIVER AND ERIC MIGHT BE COMING TO TOWN!!
Dare I hope for some shlushee walking? Probably not as it looks like it's going to be a big event but that's fine as I miss them. I also miss big group things. I like having stuff to look forward to.
HOLY CRAP today is a good day for emails.
Manda took me up on my offer! A little bit surprised about that, but quite pleased.
Tomorrow I work and have a date. Date number 2 with girl from bad date number 1. I got convinced. Stupid manipulative friends trying to be all helpful and reasonable and shit. I like being unreasonable some days. I suppose it has been long enough... and first dates aren't necessarily the be all and end all when you throw in a good phone call or two.
That's me. Unreasonable as I may be sometimes, I still try to have a lot of fun.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I drunk dial. I also drunk text, drunk facebook, drunk email, drunk blog and on one memorable occasion, I drunk kicked a complete stranger in the nuts for cutting in line at the pizza pizza. I also drunk ran away while making sure I didn't drop my pizza slice.
It's a terrible habit, even if it does amuse my friends to no end. Probably as much as I am amused when they contact me after they've fallen out of the Jaeger tree and hit every branch on the way down. But I think next time the cell stays home and I turn the computer off before I leave for the night.
Making a huge ass of yourself is only fun if you do it on purpose.
Oh and weird ass dating news. (Chick drama sells blogs people! I know you ain't reading this for the calm, rational discourse on political theory.) I've had some weird first dates. And it's funny Jay remembers the last time I got laid better than I have. But he also thinks I should be reasonable about this. Fuck that!
I'm pretty sure I made it very clear that I was asking her out when I got her number. I called our little outing a "date" when we made plans for it. So why, when I arrived, did I find she had been there with 4 friends for a half hour before I showed up? I spoke maybe 6 sentences to her, and every attempt I made was absurdly cut off by the discussion of some decorating show they had recently watched.
Is it really any wonder I bailed early and went to Rachel and Trish's place to get bombed out of my mind? Well also Rachie's birthday and all.
Oh and Cassie was telling me she took a bunch of fantasy and science fiction courses for her English major in London (Ontario, not England). I'm going to hunt for similar stuff. If I get to read LOTR or Douglas Adams for credit I'm going to wet myself.
That's me. If you ARE reading this blog for the political theory then I say let the fantasy authors take over. They have more practical experince in creating AND solving the most messed up political situations then the people we have in power that create and attempt to solve the situations we're dealing with now. Also, they could get science working on Dragons.
It's a terrible habit, even if it does amuse my friends to no end. Probably as much as I am amused when they contact me after they've fallen out of the Jaeger tree and hit every branch on the way down. But I think next time the cell stays home and I turn the computer off before I leave for the night.
Making a huge ass of yourself is only fun if you do it on purpose.
Oh and weird ass dating news. (Chick drama sells blogs people! I know you ain't reading this for the calm, rational discourse on political theory.) I've had some weird first dates. And it's funny Jay remembers the last time I got laid better than I have. But he also thinks I should be reasonable about this. Fuck that!
I'm pretty sure I made it very clear that I was asking her out when I got her number. I called our little outing a "date" when we made plans for it. So why, when I arrived, did I find she had been there with 4 friends for a half hour before I showed up? I spoke maybe 6 sentences to her, and every attempt I made was absurdly cut off by the discussion of some decorating show they had recently watched.
Is it really any wonder I bailed early and went to Rachel and Trish's place to get bombed out of my mind? Well also Rachie's birthday and all.
Oh and Cassie was telling me she took a bunch of fantasy and science fiction courses for her English major in London (Ontario, not England). I'm going to hunt for similar stuff. If I get to read LOTR or Douglas Adams for credit I'm going to wet myself.
That's me. If you ARE reading this blog for the political theory then I say let the fantasy authors take over. They have more practical experince in creating AND solving the most messed up political situations then the people we have in power that create and attempt to solve the situations we're dealing with now. Also, they could get science working on Dragons.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
SHOUT OUT TO BUB! I recently became a follower on her blog (I'd like to hold a Tarantula) and she returned the favor. Check it out!
------------------------------>
We're having Man Talk today.
As a guy my laundry schedule revolves around the amount of clean boxers I have available. It has nothing to do with the availability of pants, t-shirts or other articles that can be worn multiple times. A laundry schedule also has nothing to do with time. It all comes down to the boxers.
However with some recent weight loss some of my boxers have started not to fit, and this is soon to cause a crisis as I don't feel laundry every 4 or 5 days is necessary for a person living on their own. But this in turn, cause another problem.
Shopping
I hate shopping. I usually bribe a chick with lunch or booze when I need to go shopping. However I can't take a chick boxer shopping as they don't know the particularities, but I can't take a buddy, as I don't have many. Plus guys don't shop for underwear together. Ever. Period.
Okay I'm not huge giant of a man. I am 6ft tall and have size 12 shoes. And yet for some reason I can't shop at the Mall. How is it that the XXL size shirts at some men's clothing stores won't even go over my head. Okay yes I'm a chubby guy, but shouldn't the sizes be the same regardless of the store? Some places I'm a large, some I'm and XXXL. And how come I always see people twice my size shopping at places and walking out with bags full of stuff when I can't even find a t-shirt? This baffles me.
Okay moving on to body hair.
I shave my own back. And manscape. It's a logistical nightmare as I'm not that bendy. I DO have double jointed elbows but they're not as useful as people seem to think. As for the rest of it, well I'm pretty much all hair. It's a even covering that starts at my feet and ends at my head. The one on my shoulders. But it's still a lot of effort that should be appreciated.
One time I got my eyebrows waxed. That night was a pretty happy Spammy night, but that was painful! And the top of my face was red and blotchy for hours. It'll take some serious cleavage/convincing to get me to try that again! Also forget about waxing anywhere else as far as I'm concerned.
I'm pretty okay with being a Wookie thank you very much.
Names I like being called:
Sam
Sammy
Spammy
Spamalanthalas
Samooel
SamSam
Names I sometimes like being called:
Mr Harding
Samuel
Brother
Bro
Sir
Names I don't like being called:
Buddy
Sport
Champ
Pal
Hey you
I wish I could write a memo to all the douche bags that come through the till at work. Oh and there's this one lady at work that calls me Sammie cause that's what she calls her daughter (real name Samantha). What the hell? I'm pretty sure I don't remind you of your daughter.
Also that guy that says he has his own airplane pisses me off. His wife told me he didn't, it's that he hates being asked if he has an Air Miles card. Asshat.
That's me. No girl drama! However the night is young.
------------------------------>
We're having Man Talk today.
As a guy my laundry schedule revolves around the amount of clean boxers I have available. It has nothing to do with the availability of pants, t-shirts or other articles that can be worn multiple times. A laundry schedule also has nothing to do with time. It all comes down to the boxers.
However with some recent weight loss some of my boxers have started not to fit, and this is soon to cause a crisis as I don't feel laundry every 4 or 5 days is necessary for a person living on their own. But this in turn, cause another problem.
Shopping
I hate shopping. I usually bribe a chick with lunch or booze when I need to go shopping. However I can't take a chick boxer shopping as they don't know the particularities, but I can't take a buddy, as I don't have many. Plus guys don't shop for underwear together. Ever. Period.
Okay I'm not huge giant of a man. I am 6ft tall and have size 12 shoes. And yet for some reason I can't shop at the Mall. How is it that the XXL size shirts at some men's clothing stores won't even go over my head. Okay yes I'm a chubby guy, but shouldn't the sizes be the same regardless of the store? Some places I'm a large, some I'm and XXXL. And how come I always see people twice my size shopping at places and walking out with bags full of stuff when I can't even find a t-shirt? This baffles me.
Okay moving on to body hair.
I shave my own back. And manscape. It's a logistical nightmare as I'm not that bendy. I DO have double jointed elbows but they're not as useful as people seem to think. As for the rest of it, well I'm pretty much all hair. It's a even covering that starts at my feet and ends at my head. The one on my shoulders. But it's still a lot of effort that should be appreciated.
One time I got my eyebrows waxed. That night was a pretty happy Spammy night, but that was painful! And the top of my face was red and blotchy for hours. It'll take some serious cleavage/convincing to get me to try that again! Also forget about waxing anywhere else as far as I'm concerned.
I'm pretty okay with being a Wookie thank you very much.
Names I like being called:
Sam
Sammy
Spammy
Spamalanthalas
Samooel
SamSam
Names I sometimes like being called:
Mr Harding
Samuel
Brother
Bro
Sir
Names I don't like being called:
Buddy
Sport
Champ
Pal
Hey you
I wish I could write a memo to all the douche bags that come through the till at work. Oh and there's this one lady at work that calls me Sammie cause that's what she calls her daughter (real name Samantha). What the hell? I'm pretty sure I don't remind you of your daughter.
Also that guy that says he has his own airplane pisses me off. His wife told me he didn't, it's that he hates being asked if he has an Air Miles card. Asshat.
That's me. No girl drama! However the night is young.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Picard could beat Kirk's ass at anything but a fistfight or an orgy.
However neither of them have the Defiant.
I love the Defiant. Hellloooo Jem'Hadar ship. Pew pew pew KABBOOOOMMMM! Goodbye you drug addicted maniacs and you weird eared freaks. Weyoon always pissed me off.
Just saying.
I'm a geek. I am, even if I don't act like it all the time what with going to gym and talking to lady people I always go home to my fantasy books and star wars video games.
However lately I'm feeling a little disjointed form all the geeky love I used to get into. I haven't kept up with Star Wars novels (haven't read anything past the Vong invasion) and haven't bought any Legacy of the Force for more than a year. I've stopped playing video games as often as I did (however if I get a new computer I'm so getting the Old Republic!). I wonder if I had a real grown up job I could afford to be a geek again.
I might be a fantasy book geek now (even if Jay probably has me beat out on that now) but no so much sci-fi, which in high school was pretty much all I was about until a friend started lending me Robert Jordan and Steven Erikson books.
I give out foot rubs that are pretty special. My back rubs are top notch but for some reason not as well appreciated. It's just a gift, I'm not really even into feet in general, but the noises lady people make when you rub them properly is kinda magical. (by magical I of course mean "make spammy happy in the pants").
However, is first date too soon to offer to be rubbing stuff? If she accepts right away is does that mean she's easy? I suppose it depends on the individual (it usually does) but I'll poll the drunken room full of metro employees I'll be seeing tomorrow to check it out.
That's me. Jay is such a gir. Yes I spelled that right.
However neither of them have the Defiant.
I love the Defiant. Hellloooo Jem'Hadar ship. Pew pew pew KABBOOOOMMMM! Goodbye you drug addicted maniacs and you weird eared freaks. Weyoon always pissed me off.
Just saying.
I'm a geek. I am, even if I don't act like it all the time what with going to gym and talking to lady people I always go home to my fantasy books and star wars video games.
However lately I'm feeling a little disjointed form all the geeky love I used to get into. I haven't kept up with Star Wars novels (haven't read anything past the Vong invasion) and haven't bought any Legacy of the Force for more than a year. I've stopped playing video games as often as I did (however if I get a new computer I'm so getting the Old Republic!). I wonder if I had a real grown up job I could afford to be a geek again.
I might be a fantasy book geek now (even if Jay probably has me beat out on that now) but no so much sci-fi, which in high school was pretty much all I was about until a friend started lending me Robert Jordan and Steven Erikson books.
I give out foot rubs that are pretty special. My back rubs are top notch but for some reason not as well appreciated. It's just a gift, I'm not really even into feet in general, but the noises lady people make when you rub them properly is kinda magical. (by magical I of course mean "make spammy happy in the pants").
However, is first date too soon to offer to be rubbing stuff? If she accepts right away is does that mean she's easy? I suppose it depends on the individual (it usually does) but I'll poll the drunken room full of metro employees I'll be seeing tomorrow to check it out.
That's me. Jay is such a gir. Yes I spelled that right.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I have discovered that while it is possible to make tacos without sour cream and old el paso taco sauce, that there really is no point.
Cute HMV girl seems pretty cool. However I have deducted that all she wants to do is wrap her legs around me and scream at the top of her lungs. I'll bet she's loud. As much fun as that sounds I am attempting to keep my head on straight and I'm not really in the mood for another disastrous experience. Plus, I hate those house decorating television shows that she seems to favor.
Today wasn't terribly productive. Tomorrow my only goal is to buy bread, because you can't have toasted tomato sandwiches if you don't have bread for the toast.
I am pretty nervcited about school. And not just because need something to do with my days besides going to the gym and watching Boston Legal (I can never get enough BL... but eight episodes a day seems extreme). Like hardcore nervcited. Which is kinda awesome because lately it's rare that I get nervous OR excited. Though my fingernails do happen to be suffering at the moment.
I find myself speaking pompously. I think it's because of all the Alan Shore I've been watching on Boston Legal lately. It doesn't mean I NOT going to buy the third season form cute HMV girl tomorrow, but I probably should watch the highbrow vocabulary as it sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Children Spammy? What the fuck is going through your head?
Oh and I've taken to trying out the family sign off when writing letters and emails and such to people. I don't know if I'm going to keep doing it. Deaf culture is a bit different (well a lot different in a lot of ways) when dealing with goodbyes.
lml/
That's me. I love having facebook battles with Jay. I also love how the uninformed think we hate each other.
Cute HMV girl seems pretty cool. However I have deducted that all she wants to do is wrap her legs around me and scream at the top of her lungs. I'll bet she's loud. As much fun as that sounds I am attempting to keep my head on straight and I'm not really in the mood for another disastrous experience. Plus, I hate those house decorating television shows that she seems to favor.
Today wasn't terribly productive. Tomorrow my only goal is to buy bread, because you can't have toasted tomato sandwiches if you don't have bread for the toast.
I am pretty nervcited about school. And not just because need something to do with my days besides going to the gym and watching Boston Legal (I can never get enough BL... but eight episodes a day seems extreme). Like hardcore nervcited. Which is kinda awesome because lately it's rare that I get nervous OR excited. Though my fingernails do happen to be suffering at the moment.
I find myself speaking pompously. I think it's because of all the Alan Shore I've been watching on Boston Legal lately. It doesn't mean I NOT going to buy the third season form cute HMV girl tomorrow, but I probably should watch the highbrow vocabulary as it sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Children Spammy? What the fuck is going through your head?
Oh and I've taken to trying out the family sign off when writing letters and emails and such to people. I don't know if I'm going to keep doing it. Deaf culture is a bit different (well a lot different in a lot of ways) when dealing with goodbyes.
lml/
That's me. I love having facebook battles with Jay. I also love how the uninformed think we hate each other.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Funny Stuff I heard/read/witnessed/participated in recently:
On Pets:
I love baby animals! With a little effort you can get the entire head off in a single bite!
Note: I'm kinda proud of this one. Even more proud of the look on the pet store cashier's face. That should teach them not to have fish tank dragons.
On being an adult:
I insist that I didn't suffer through childhood and adolescence just to end up with a bedtime and a cookie limit.
Note: Go read Crymes Syndicate ---------------------------------->
On sleep disorders:
I sodomize people in my sleep. Even when they tell me to stop I don't.
Note: That's one way to avoid sharing a hotel bed with friends.
On women:
If she didn’t want attention, she shouldn't’t have been so blatantly female over Xbox Live
Note: Agreed
On being lonely:
You feel so bad that you don’t want to even leave the house, which is pretty convenient, because you weren’t going to anyway. But still, it’s bad.
Note: Erm?
On dating:
There are other fish in sea. There have to be, like, literally dozens of female gamers in the world.
Note: No matter how nicely you ask, they still aren't going to show you their boobs.
On health:
I don't drink stuff that came out of a person.
Note: Should go without saying. Also makes watching breastfeeding less awkward if you have a stance on it.
Everyone should do stuff I tell them to. While we're on the topic everyone should go watch Boston Legal, praise the ORIGINAL Star Wars trilogy, send me money, admit that DS9 was the best Star Trek ever got, exclaim "HULK SMASH" more often, kick Jason in the balls for being uppity, read books with Quick Ben and Locke Lamora, practice throwing tomahawks, teach parrots dirty poetry, eat more pakoras, smile at the next idiot who pisses you off and, finally, spoil a child that doesn't belong to you so you don't have to deal with the aftermath.
I'm sure I have more commands that would benefit mankind but I'm kinda sleepy.
That's me. Italian is on my ishuffle! How do I get it off?
On Pets:
I love baby animals! With a little effort you can get the entire head off in a single bite!
Note: I'm kinda proud of this one. Even more proud of the look on the pet store cashier's face. That should teach them not to have fish tank dragons.
On being an adult:
I insist that I didn't suffer through childhood and adolescence just to end up with a bedtime and a cookie limit.
Note: Go read Crymes Syndicate ---------------------------------->
On sleep disorders:
I sodomize people in my sleep. Even when they tell me to stop I don't.
Note: That's one way to avoid sharing a hotel bed with friends.
On women:
If she didn’t want attention, she shouldn't’t have been so blatantly female over Xbox Live
Note: Agreed
On being lonely:
You feel so bad that you don’t want to even leave the house, which is pretty convenient, because you weren’t going to anyway. But still, it’s bad.
Note: Erm?
On dating:
There are other fish in sea. There have to be, like, literally dozens of female gamers in the world.
Note: No matter how nicely you ask, they still aren't going to show you their boobs.
On health:
I don't drink stuff that came out of a person.
Note: Should go without saying. Also makes watching breastfeeding less awkward if you have a stance on it.
Everyone should do stuff I tell them to. While we're on the topic everyone should go watch Boston Legal, praise the ORIGINAL Star Wars trilogy, send me money, admit that DS9 was the best Star Trek ever got, exclaim "HULK SMASH" more often, kick Jason in the balls for being uppity, read books with Quick Ben and Locke Lamora, practice throwing tomahawks, teach parrots dirty poetry, eat more pakoras, smile at the next idiot who pisses you off and, finally, spoil a child that doesn't belong to you so you don't have to deal with the aftermath.
I'm sure I have more commands that would benefit mankind but I'm kinda sleepy.
That's me. Italian is on my ishuffle! How do I get it off?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Erm I think I just wet myself. And step number 5 definitely got another crack at me too during the excitement.
But I don't care.
I"M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like in print and everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I busted my ass doing some writing before I have to go back to school and this sci fi magazine in California bought my story! For real money and not he piddly crap I got with e-zines and web publications! It's their November issue and they said they'll send me a dozen magazines at cost to share with friends and family! I just have to wait until it's printed of course.
Pizza and beer! And maybe I'll call a friend tomorrows and get sushi too! Man this has been a good week.
That's me. I MIGHT BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING AFTER ALL!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
But I don't care.
I"M PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like in print and everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I busted my ass doing some writing before I have to go back to school and this sci fi magazine in California bought my story! For real money and not he piddly crap I got with e-zines and web publications! It's their November issue and they said they'll send me a dozen magazines at cost to share with friends and family! I just have to wait until it's printed of course.
Pizza and beer! And maybe I'll call a friend tomorrows and get sushi too! Man this has been a good week.
That's me. I MIGHT BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING AFTER ALL!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
I'm having a good time surprising people lately. The landlady came by the other day while I was folding laundry in front of the television. She was absolutely blown away to see a (mostly) grown man folding laundry. Just wait until I get my iron back from my parents! I don't know why this is surprising. I also do housework (usually blaring slipknot or killswitch, if I get complaints well the more help I get the sooner the music goes off)
I like making KD and being all hospitable and shit for the girls last night. I have more fun entertaining then I admit. It could also have something to do with me living by myself, in effect, for the last few weeks.
Last night was awesome. Even if I'm a little bitter about the karaoke. But having good people and chilling at Squirrely's is one of my favourite things. I hope my housemates are u for shit like that come September.
Oh and on a related note it turns out that I'm not going to be living with all chicks in the fall. I was a bit worried about that, to be honest. But there will be another guy. Maybe I'll get to leave the toilet seat up after all.
Awesomely pleased that Rachie drunk texted that dude.
Not so pleased that I spent most of the day with the nasty taste of foot in mouth. But I don't back away form that shit, even if it turns out to be more than slightly embarrassing. You have to get shit settled sometimes regardless of how it ends up.
That's me. Yay rain checks with 11 beers! Maybe I'll get sushi too! Mmm sushi.
I like making KD and being all hospitable and shit for the girls last night. I have more fun entertaining then I admit. It could also have something to do with me living by myself, in effect, for the last few weeks.
Last night was awesome. Even if I'm a little bitter about the karaoke. But having good people and chilling at Squirrely's is one of my favourite things. I hope my housemates are u for shit like that come September.
Oh and on a related note it turns out that I'm not going to be living with all chicks in the fall. I was a bit worried about that, to be honest. But there will be another guy. Maybe I'll get to leave the toilet seat up after all.
Awesomely pleased that Rachie drunk texted that dude.
Not so pleased that I spent most of the day with the nasty taste of foot in mouth. But I don't back away form that shit, even if it turns out to be more than slightly embarrassing. You have to get shit settled sometimes regardless of how it ends up.
That's me. Yay rain checks with 11 beers! Maybe I'll get sushi too! Mmm sushi.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I don't think I'm ever going to be one of those "good" bloggers. Y'know those witty, entertaining, amusing people with 1200 followers and enough knowledge of html to completely customize their awesome looking blogs.
I picked a template and added a picture of a dragon. Dragons are awesome. His name is Herbert. He might be posting here soon, since he is a pretty bored Dragon. Also, he is fictional. So far. Lets see those good bloggers tame Dragons.
I started writing stuff down almost 6 years ago. Ish. This was mostly an attempt to impress a series of girls I was dating at the time in a hope that they might actually understand something about me. Well they never read my stuff and still have yet to get into my head (which is fine). This was all due mostly to the encouragement of a (newly married!) friend who used to post stuff about what was going on in her life from time to time, and I thought what the hell, if I'm going to be awake at 2 am and worried about life, I might as well make it a little more concrete then all the whining I usually did at the time.
I have experienced accounts on diary land, accounts on live journal and even tried blogging on my space (for about 10 minutes or so). It's been quite the journey. I used to be all about the angst and complaining and whining and bitching, in between attempted comedy. I'm a bit better now I hope.
I have no real direction here, just a sort of compiling of the random crap that goes through my head and some of the events that accompany my life. The good bloggers tell stories from their life and turn them into amusing displays of wit and humor. Or maybe they like to discuss certain issues or news or...well anything really. But the good stuff usually has some sort of direction. I tend to ramble.
I can't even be bothered to come up with proper titles to my blog entries. Mostly because If I had to add a title every time it would be an agonzing search of my brain for something witty and that would drive me insane as my wit is usually unintentional (also my wit likes to hide behind doors and jump out and scare people and when I blog I'm usually sitting down in one spot for a while so my wit has no chance to jump out and scare me). The good bloggers titles are always pretty neat.
Now don't get me wrong, I love reading blogs. I love seeing insights into people lives, I love the comedy, the entertainment and the sheer awesomeoness of some of the stuff out there. Seriously check out White Coller Redneck or Crymes Syndicate, the links are right there people! -------------------------->
Note: the links may not be actually right there but with a little effort called "scrolling down" and "looking" at the side bar you will find them.
However even though I don't feel like I'm in "I'm a good blogger" territory it definitly doesn't mean I'm going to stop anytime soon. Or at all. Ever. This is one of the things that keeps me sane and stop from comitting heinous violence on the general public.
That's me. I get to clean up and be social tommorow! Also, there will be booze.
I picked a template and added a picture of a dragon. Dragons are awesome. His name is Herbert. He might be posting here soon, since he is a pretty bored Dragon. Also, he is fictional. So far. Lets see those good bloggers tame Dragons.
I started writing stuff down almost 6 years ago. Ish. This was mostly an attempt to impress a series of girls I was dating at the time in a hope that they might actually understand something about me. Well they never read my stuff and still have yet to get into my head (which is fine). This was all due mostly to the encouragement of a (newly married!) friend who used to post stuff about what was going on in her life from time to time, and I thought what the hell, if I'm going to be awake at 2 am and worried about life, I might as well make it a little more concrete then all the whining I usually did at the time.
I have experienced accounts on diary land, accounts on live journal and even tried blogging on my space (for about 10 minutes or so). It's been quite the journey. I used to be all about the angst and complaining and whining and bitching, in between attempted comedy. I'm a bit better now I hope.
I have no real direction here, just a sort of compiling of the random crap that goes through my head and some of the events that accompany my life. The good bloggers tell stories from their life and turn them into amusing displays of wit and humor. Or maybe they like to discuss certain issues or news or...well anything really. But the good stuff usually has some sort of direction. I tend to ramble.
I can't even be bothered to come up with proper titles to my blog entries. Mostly because If I had to add a title every time it would be an agonzing search of my brain for something witty and that would drive me insane as my wit is usually unintentional (also my wit likes to hide behind doors and jump out and scare people and when I blog I'm usually sitting down in one spot for a while so my wit has no chance to jump out and scare me). The good bloggers titles are always pretty neat.
Now don't get me wrong, I love reading blogs. I love seeing insights into people lives, I love the comedy, the entertainment and the sheer awesomeoness of some of the stuff out there. Seriously check out White Coller Redneck or Crymes Syndicate, the links are right there people! -------------------------->
Note: the links may not be actually right there but with a little effort called "scrolling down" and "looking" at the side bar you will find them.
However even though I don't feel like I'm in "I'm a good blogger" territory it definitly doesn't mean I'm going to stop anytime soon. Or at all. Ever. This is one of the things that keeps me sane and stop from comitting heinous violence on the general public.
That's me. I get to clean up and be social tommorow! Also, there will be booze.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Today I decided I was going to be productive and funny. Not necessarily in that order but hey, I was willing to wing it.
That was before I fell down the stairs. That's right, step number 5 (counting from the bottom) tried to kill me.
I then accidentally stood too close and opened the fridge...into myself. I clipped the left side of a very important piece of my anatomy.
After I was done fighting back the tears (I mean err meat, gunfights! and chainsaws!)I then discovered I may just have lost a library book. I go to the library because I can't afford new books all the time. You know, to avoid paying for them and stuff like that.
And then I went back to bed, because when your day starts off like that there really is no point.
I also might have forgotten to be funny OR productive.
That's me. I'm so mad I hate Wookies.
P.S. I so don't hate wookies I was just showing my extreme displease. Chewbacca could eat my firstborn and I'd still hang out in cantinas with him.
That was before I fell down the stairs. That's right, step number 5 (counting from the bottom) tried to kill me.
I then accidentally stood too close and opened the fridge...into myself. I clipped the left side of a very important piece of my anatomy.
After I was done fighting back the tears (I mean err meat, gunfights! and chainsaws!)I then discovered I may just have lost a library book. I go to the library because I can't afford new books all the time. You know, to avoid paying for them and stuff like that.
And then I went back to bed, because when your day starts off like that there really is no point.
I also might have forgotten to be funny OR productive.
That's me. I'm so mad I hate Wookies.
P.S. I so don't hate wookies I was just showing my extreme displease. Chewbacca could eat my firstborn and I'd still hang out in cantinas with him.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Present were pretty practical so I'm thinking about spending some hard earned money on something shiny and loud.
However I noticed that not everybody on my friends list on facebook wrote a happy birthday message on my wall. I kept score and will now write heartfelt dramatic messages detailing my hurt.... or I might shrug and move on with my life since facebook is not the be all and end all of my social interactions. Also, facebook might be the devil.
(p.s. this was said in humor and in a jovial manner, and so I apologize if you are too stupid to understand this and become insulted)
I'm 25 now! The world is of full of hope and promise and rainbows and kittens and puppies and groups of big breasted arts majors who like to hang out and discuss how they all have open views on sexuality.
I'd watch that show. Only because there's not a whole lot a pair of feisty redheads can't cure.
Niagara Falls was fun, mum and dad loved the company and Josh and I basked in the glory that is cable television. Yay Demolition Man! "Mellow greetings citizen, what is your boggle?" A whole bunch of people I know make a big deal of vising Niagara Falls, and I've never really understood that. Probably has something to do with the fact that during most of my childhood we went every six weeks or so. Yeah definitely has something to do with that.
Also, Josh and I discussed dating requirements. Mostly because we found my copy of "the Bro Code", which I then forgot in mum and dad's basement. We decided that I should have the old "Hooters" test for women, in an attempt to weed out the crazy ones (and also with a cursory glance at the crazy/hot chart in the book). The test being, you ask them politely to walk towards a wall, if their nose touches first, then they lose. I assume if their nose touches first they're still one night stand worthy but I'll get back to you. Boy is dating complicated or what? I think there might be provisions for water bras as they are such a cruel trick. However I am a HUGE fan of bras that open from the front. See? Complicated.
I showed Josh the patented Jay technique of beating Sam in an arcade fighting game. Right at the start of the match you body check the guy away from the controls and then box him out while furiously kicking the shit out of his character while it's not doing anything. It's foolproof.
Oh and I like getting mail, another fun reason to go home. I received the best ever personalized thank-you card from Liver and Eric. Granted there's not a lot of competition, but I seriously doubt they get better. Yay!
That's me. Sorry for not punching a hooker.
I CAN FIX STUFF THROUGH THE INTERNET!
No.
Wait.
I can't.
I CAN"T FIX STUFF THROUGH THE INTERNET!
Glad we cleared that up. Now call me so we can talk like real people in real life. Email tag is only fun when you're having fun. Note: we're not having fun.
Present were pretty practical so I'm thinking about spending some hard earned money on something shiny and loud.
However I noticed that not everybody on my friends list on facebook wrote a happy birthday message on my wall. I kept score and will now write heartfelt dramatic messages detailing my hurt.... or I might shrug and move on with my life since facebook is not the be all and end all of my social interactions. Also, facebook might be the devil.
(p.s. this was said in humor and in a jovial manner, and so I apologize if you are too stupid to understand this and become insulted)
I'm 25 now! The world is of full of hope and promise and rainbows and kittens and puppies and groups of big breasted arts majors who like to hang out and discuss how they all have open views on sexuality.
I'd watch that show. Only because there's not a whole lot a pair of feisty redheads can't cure.
Niagara Falls was fun, mum and dad loved the company and Josh and I basked in the glory that is cable television. Yay Demolition Man! "Mellow greetings citizen, what is your boggle?" A whole bunch of people I know make a big deal of vising Niagara Falls, and I've never really understood that. Probably has something to do with the fact that during most of my childhood we went every six weeks or so. Yeah definitely has something to do with that.
Also, Josh and I discussed dating requirements. Mostly because we found my copy of "the Bro Code", which I then forgot in mum and dad's basement. We decided that I should have the old "Hooters" test for women, in an attempt to weed out the crazy ones (and also with a cursory glance at the crazy/hot chart in the book). The test being, you ask them politely to walk towards a wall, if their nose touches first, then they lose. I assume if their nose touches first they're still one night stand worthy but I'll get back to you. Boy is dating complicated or what? I think there might be provisions for water bras as they are such a cruel trick. However I am a HUGE fan of bras that open from the front. See? Complicated.
I showed Josh the patented Jay technique of beating Sam in an arcade fighting game. Right at the start of the match you body check the guy away from the controls and then box him out while furiously kicking the shit out of his character while it's not doing anything. It's foolproof.
Oh and I like getting mail, another fun reason to go home. I received the best ever personalized thank-you card from Liver and Eric. Granted there's not a lot of competition, but I seriously doubt they get better. Yay!
That's me. Sorry for not punching a hooker.
I CAN FIX STUFF THROUGH THE INTERNET!
No.
Wait.
I can't.
I CAN"T FIX STUFF THROUGH THE INTERNET!
Glad we cleared that up. Now call me so we can talk like real people in real life. Email tag is only fun when you're having fun. Note: we're not having fun.
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