A bunch of dummies

Josh is here! Dad went and got him at like 5am this morning. Jay and I were invited but 5am is a little much for us (mostly cause bedtime is like 2). But now the Set is complete.

The Trilogy has been watched.

The Triad is present.

The Trio is singing.

The Tricycle is in the backyard.

The Tri-force has been collected.

The Triangle has all it's sides.

This is us:

And the only people who understand our comedy is us. We are all in the same room, and I can't think of many people who can manage to be with us. Seriously. We've all had exes who hated being around when all three of us were laying into each other. I can only think of one that actually made it through an entire holiday season and still wanted to hang out with us (HI LYSEE). We even drive mum and dad bonkers, and they have to love us.

All we do, and all we want to do, is give each other as much shit as possible. And you know what? It's my favourite part of the holidays. (well mum's baking is right up there too)

You see, with us nothing is off limits. Alliances are made on a whim and broken just as easily. I even told Josh some Jay related stories so he'd have some non-aquatic themed jokes to make at Jay's expense. Jay and I already talked about shit we wanted to "discuss" with our little brother. We come prepared. We team up on each other. We laugh. And then we pick a new target.

The topics are varied and interesting, but usually come down to women. We started this "tradition" in high school. It goes something along the lines of : we talk about having sex with each other's significant others. (HI LYSEE!)

But don't think that just because I've been single for a while, and Jay is recently unattached, that we're left out. Oh no. That would destroy the holidays and the universe might implode. So we tell stories. Some we've told each other before, but it doesn't matter, any chick related story is good enough ammo for someone else to come up with an incredibly offensive (seriously, we go as tasteless as we can make it) barrage of insults.

I should probably apologize to any women who knows me (well for this and a bunch of other reasons I'm sure), cause it's all fair game.

But of course since Jay made a drunken ass of himself multiple times while staying at my place, Josh and I picked on him for a good hour or so. But don't be worried. Everyone gets a turn.

But it's Christmas Eve. Food and baked goods are on the table. Beer is in the fridge. Jay and Josh are in the basement either watching the food network or playing the Wii. Mum is playing cheesy music at a decibel level that rivals aircraft engines. Dad is grazing on the veggies and is most likely sneaking sweets behind mum's back.

It's awesome.

That's me. Jay and Josh are in the basement giggling. It may be my turn and I'm just not there for it.

Sunshine

I just serenaded a black cat. I sang along to the pretty reckless song I posted up here a few days ago that I can't seem to get out of my head. The cat jumped up in front of the computer screen and sat down on the keyboard and the song happened to be playing, so I petted the kitty and sang the song until I moved her. Jay is watching the food network. Mom is either talking to herself, the oven where she is making cookies, or the dog. (possibly all 3 at once). I also just smoked the end of my knee off this goddamn computer desk. I used to do this on a regular basis.

This can only mean one thing.

I'm at my parent's house for the holidays!

Notice how I say "my parent's house" and not "home"? Well it doesn't really feel quite like "home" yet. They've only been here 6 months or so and we've never had everyone get together yet. I can't wait for Josh to get his ass over here! Maybe then? I don't know. It IS people who make a place worth living in and my family only gets together at Christmas time. But I've kinda been thinking of as the place I'm living in Guelph as "home". This is probably why, even with all the shit I'm having to wade through, that I'm trying so hard to stay.

If the terra-cotta sticks to your hair-gel then you shouldn't wear the planter as a hat. I don't want my fifteen minutes of fame to be on America's Most Wanted.

Ombre's going, going, and gone. Hopefully I get a few more lame jokes over facebook before she goes. The going away party was pretty great though, since Becca and Kate pulled out all the stops and went all out. The spread they came up with was over the top, fruits, veggies, cookies, homemade sushi, and some sort of phylo pastry wrapped things that tasted like wonderfulness and sunshine.

Sunshine tastes like happiness, but as happiness can only be found in the arms of a pair of feisty redheads, sunshine is easier to get into food. Trust me (don't), I'm a doctor (am not).

The party was a late night of a bunch of emotional sappy crap. The speech attempts were sweet, the going away plaque thingy (hard to describe, but with pictures of all the housemates and Owen) was thoughtful, the guests happy, and the drinking... ahh the drinking... over the top.

I did rather enjoy Laura's quiz. All the questions started with "Which twin..." and ended with Jay and I arguing. Not hard at all when we're plastered. But the night ended kinda early for me (well when compared with others). Crying chicks calling at 2am will do that to a guy.

The next day was a bit subdued, but was probably to be expected as the "real" goodbyes had to be said. I do have a confession to make. Aubrey was running late (or early maybe?) and asked me to make her bed. Of course I'm fine with this, happy to help out. However I have never made up a duvet cover, so when Meg takes over the room, there may be a lumpy mess on her bed. I think I gave up after 20 minutes or so. That shit is just too complicated for a guy (or a guy with a hangover). I might give it another shot when I get back... if I remember.

Becca and I made up a bunch of requirements for Meg a.k.a. she-who-will-be-taking-over-Ombre's-room. I don't remember a whole lot of em, mostly cause we were wasted and wrote them on Becca's arm with a pen. But I rememeber how worried I was about meeting Becca and now we drunkenly write lists on her arm for fun. So yeah, not terrribly worried about meeting and hanging out with Meg.

...unless she hates Star Trek. Or Star Wars.

Now I'm worried again.

That's me. You're not okay unless you like sci-fi. Or we can influence you to like sci-fi. Data is pronounced Day-tah.

Good People

FINISHED MY LAST FINAL (maybe ever) TODAY

The only reason I can think of that makes my blog prettier than Becca's is the Dallen. Seriously, dragons make everything better; books, video games, blogs, awkward first dates, opera, music videos, other dragons and on the rare occasion, sex.

I think I'm the one on top since I'm all about breathing fire.

The other night I didn't go to bed until after the sun was up. I was all one...more...chapter...oh it's 8:30 in the am and Harry won the book. Hmm I should probably sleep or something huh? It's all fun an games until someone pulls an all nighter that doesn't involve any sex whatsoever. I know. I am lame. But I mostly blame Becca.

You see, I put on a late night movie to send me into the arms of Morpheus, when suddenly Becca comes back from karaoke fro her friend's birthday. I was polite and paused the movie, like I usually do. You know, to be polite. And the next thing I know it's 4 hours later, Becca's making soup and I still haven't finished the last 15minutes of Appleseed. Of course it's probably more my own damn fault that I decided to read a Jim Butcher book after that. It's crack for fantasy geeks.

But seriously Becca is good people. 4 months later and I still find myself unbelievably lucky that I randomly ended up with the people I did. I do have a bad habit of telling anyone who's interested my entire life story, but so far I've avoided it. But it's not often I get to talk about the stuff that happened in Parry Sound that summer. It those kind of nights that make thinking about leaving Guelph difficult. Even if it may be the best thing for me. Bah, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Chipmunks!

Speaking of chipmunks, Aubrey leaves in like 2 days or some shit! That blows! Mostly cause she's such a pushover and can be convinced to go out on a moment's notice to join the drunk people in whatever dumbass plan we have created. Oh and the burping, "that's what she said", and the fact that when she's terribly cruel and mean to me it makes everyone else living in the house amused and happy (and me cry myself to sleep and die a little inside, but nobody really cares about that).

But in all seriousness, we're going to miss her. She's good people. Even if she doesn't do anything with her hair.

And we do get another roommate, and so far that's been good this year, so I'm game. Rumor has it Meg is pretty cool. SHE BETTER BE OR WE"RE GOING TO MAKE HER LIFE A LIVING HELL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I hope she's good people.

Our requirements aren't that bad, if you like any kind of science fiction, drinking and karaoke, you'll fit right in. It's just that I don't get to cackle evilly often.

Music! I've been getting into this band called "The Pretty Reckless" a heckuva lot lately. It has ALMOST nothing to do with he fact that the lead singer is a smoking hot blond who likes to get gothed up. Doesn't usually do it for me, but there it is. I'm pretty much good for anyone who can sit down with a guitar and belt a song out. And boy can she belt. I bet she and Lysee would get along great!

I need to practice more. I have no idea why I find it so difficult some days. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't have a computer and really like the instructional videos on Youtube. It could be because I've kinda been pissing away my days doing nothing lately. Bah. I'm not motivated lately and I hate it when I get like this.

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday. Friday is the going away party for Ombre. We're going to tear the fucking roof off the goddamn house. Like Halloween except I won't show up 4 hours after the party's started. Drunk stories to come!

That's me. If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck, and end with, “And then I got home".

And people say we don't know how to party

So right at the moment there is a full roll of toilet paper flying across the living room punctuating a discussion of what "opposite" things Kate likes that everybody else likes too.

And people say we don't know how to party.

Today has been pretty low-key, but pizza-full. Not terribly productive but pretty satisfying nonetheless. Plus we got both Star Wars and Star Trek. JACKPOT. Little Anakin still pisses everybody off. I knew it wasn't just me. Data is the Terminator.

Well maybe it has been a little productive. But I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that finds making chipmunk jokes to a roommate who's in pain productive. Serves her right for throwing ice at me.

And people say we don't know how to party.



This is Ombre. Well mostly. Picture a little bit of applesauce hanging off the bottom lip of the squirrel and it's pretty much spot on. (she may have gotten her wisdom teeth pulled today). I find the bag of snow confusing but I suppose people are entitled to their eccentricities. After all I do have a bunch of Mr. Potato Head dolls in the shape of Star Wars characters that I can't seem to part with no matter how many times I swear I'm going to light them on fire.

I'm a sucker for knicknacky crap.

So I learned a new game last night. Or rather watched a room full of people who obviously need more creative outlets then they already possess play a game new to me. I can't decide if it was a great game or some sort of weird torture for non-stretchy people (like myself). It's called "bite the bag", and it's almost as painful as it sounds. You put a bag on the ground and then people take turns bending over and picking up the bag with their teeth. However it's not quite that easy. First you cannot touch the ground with anything other than your feet. Obvious, I'm sure. Second, after everyone has picked up the bag you cut a layer off, making the bag smaller and smaller, eventually just leaving a flat piece on the ground.

And people say we don't know how to party.

I am happy the night turned out how it did. At first it was just going to be Jay and I going over to the ladies' house, but we managed to convince literally everyone else from my house to go. And Jay got wasted. So wasted. Drunk dialing his ex and discussing how Chachi is a horse kind of wasted. Announcing to people that he was drunk and how he needed more wine kind of drunk. I'm happy he had a good time. I was more content to sit on a recliner or couch and watch the unfolding events. But I was pretty wasted myself. I definitely need a skull goblet.

And people say we don't know how to party.

I also had some girl drama. But not the fun kind. More the she had a big break-up fight with her boyfriend and needed some "consoling" kind. For some reason she can't get the idea that I don't want anything to be with her. Her second chance was our second date, and while it was memorable, it just ended up showing me a person I believe wouldn't have been good for me to spend time with. The threat to show up at the house at 3am just reinforces this impression.

Girl drama is interesting. Usually. Jay loves the stories, so that's something at least. I think I'd rather just find a nice girl to date. Maybe I should try and get back into the dating world. Well not that I've been out of the dating game for very long. Meh.

So my quest for workable meditation techniques is kinda at a standstill. It's just taking more than quality time with a book or saving the world on the Xbox to keep me level lately. However it was suggested that I try Tai Chi. Apparently it's more about the health and spiritual benefits rather than the martial aspect of what is traditionally considered "martial arts". I think it sounds right up my alley. I know there is a Tai Chi society downtown, and I'm sure I could swing a student rate for classes. I also think I'd like to see if I could convince someone to join me, as that would definitely help motivate me to go to these classes every week. But first we'll see how much this costs and go from there, as I am going to be pretty fucking broke for a while.

Anywho, that's me. Idiot thinks we don't know how to party? I have nothing to prove, but watch for the sirens on Friday.

I am the thoughtful space monkey

When I was working in kitchens during high school I somehow got the nickname "space monkey". I think this monkey is in space.

It took me all of 10 minutes this evening to decide that I regretted not going out and getting hammered outta my tree with roomies and assorted people they know. I didn't go for a bunch dumb reasons. I had a shitty day at work, I made a angry bitch cry, I forgot to return the (awesome) movies I rented, and my sleep schedule is completely and utterly fucked (AGAIN!).

But I got thoughtful and here I am, pouring my heart and soul out to the internet. The place where my feelings on breasts and tequila (or a fun mix of the two) are more well known then pretty much everything else.

That's okay. Tonight we shake it up a bit.

I hate it when I get to using my brain some days. I have a terrible habit to over think things and get lost in my own head. It doesn't happen as much as it used to, but there it is. Ironically, even though I hate being in this place, it's also when I do my best writing. Besides not going out, I also got 1500 words into a brand new short story. But Gah!

Oh and music. Music keeps me sane on nights like this. But for that matter I think I'd be terrible at being insane if I was actually insane. I actually would be better at being insane if I was sane enough to know what I was doing.

Make sense? I don't give a shit. New music.



You'd think that since I can only think of like 5 people who appreciate my taste in much that I'd stop putting up videos I doubt most of my readers would like.

However...you? Think? I doubt it.

I hate how I am so many people and personalities all wrapped into one awesome and not-remotely dragon shaped package. I just don't seem to know where my base line is anymore. I spent so long not being myself that I started not being me without thinking, but now that I don't have to be that way anymore I think I might be overdoing it a tad.

Or that could be because Jay is in town. I've only been able to spend time with him a handful of times in the last few years, so it's usually a bit crazy when we get together. I do love having his dumb ass around. Being as close as twin brothers can be, he can give me a perspective on the shit happening in my life that only someone who understands and hates my sense of humor can give. I could live having that happen more often.

But yeah advice only works if you actually take it. Something I need to work on. Like soon. Or now. Now would probably be better.

The roomies seem to like him too, but I have a suspicion that Becca doesn't approve of our version of "witty banter", which involves us cursing each other out in what we feel is imaginative (but not really) ways. We'll try.

I did kinda get pissed off at him for sharing some stories that I didn't really feel like sharing. It was pretty stupid to get upset though, as I realized that if you go through a bunch of old entries on this very blog (and maybe read between the lines a bit) its all there.

Oops. Feel kinda dumb about that. Heh story of my life.

No girl drama lately. Which is probably good. But slightly boring. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

That's me. I am way too cool to be here on time. Tongue. I can not have tea.

Bad Person

I just whomped an exam. Took me less than an hour. Take that university!

Sometimes when I'm writing (normally or blogging) I write down a sentence, a phrase, maybe an exclamation of some kind and I can distinctly hear a person's voice in my head. It's usually my friends and family, but not every time. It's hard to describe, and it's not on purpose, and it just kinda happens. I just think it's really cool when it does.

Jay is here! He flew in the other day. Literally, There is now a douchebag sized hole in our roof. I wish there was a Josh shaped hole there too.

I'm thinking about putting in a skylight.



But yeah he's here and has been taking up space in my room, eating my food and making a nuisance of himself. Wouldn't have it any other way. I'm happy that (so far) he's getting along with everyone (not that anyone really has been around, it's been like 2 days since I've seen Chachi or Ombre).

I also would probably be pleased if he stopped sharing stories involving myself and the crazy chicks that have made up my dating life, but hey I can't have everything. and it is a little bit funny to hear someone else's perspective on it all. But all in all I'm just happy he's here and not up with the Manatee and her spoiled rotten fuck-up kids anymore.


Pictured above: Jay's ex.

On a related note I've decided to be a bad person today. Of course, how is that different from any other day?... is what Aubrey or Kate or Becca would say if they were around at the moment.

I'm just pissed off at how things turned out with them, mostly cause I was getting attached to the idea of them being together. I kinda liked her. But then she fucked with my family, and there's not a whole lot of us around. Besides if I don't bash my Twin's ex all over the Internet, then who will? Jay? Nope. Josh? Maybe, but he hasn't ever met her. That leaves me. It's a lot of responsibility but I think I can handle it. And it's probbaly theraputic for Jay to see people on his side. So there.

Justification! Well ish.

Lately I've been struggling a bit with what I'm going to do with myself after the holidays. Jay has some rather good ideas (surprised? I know I am!). But yeah just worried. I mean I've been in this place before and I know I'lll make it through, as far as I'm concered making it through is a non-issue. It's just going to be rough and I've had that more often then I like. It just sucks and I don't like it.

Plus, someone mentioned new years. Gah! After last year I think I'll lock myself in a room with pizza, comic books and hunker down and wait it out. Or maybe find someone who's doing something and go out. Or not be in Guelph! I have seriously mixed feelings about New Years. Of course, I belive they're rather well justified. Then again, finding new and varied ways to fuck up my life during the holidays is sort of a past-time of mine.

I miss Lysee. But I changed my phone plan so I don't have to sell body parts to pay my phone bill.

I miss my kidney. Next time maybe I'll use someone else's instead.

Oh and by the way, yes I took Jay's ex off my facebook before I posted this. This blog is only for people I LIKE (and those poor bastards who stumble across it). So if you're reading this feel priviledged. And leave a a comment because I still haven't got into the habit of checking them.

That's me. Also, if you're a chick, leave your cup size. I just like to know.

That's what she said

HELLO CORRINE AND LAURA. Yesterday they read my blog for the first time! Even thought I've known them for months and I'm pretty sure I'm the most interesting person they know. Probably. I hope they read my blog today and fake crazy facebook drama happens.

I've been abusing "that's what she said again". It's so hard to stop. It just gets bigger and bigger and then out of hand. It just makes a huge mess. It hurts me on the inside.

I have a problem.



At least it's a fun problem.

So I was all "I'm going to take it easy and not go out" cause I wanted to wait for Jay. Yeah so far it's not working. But we did have a killer night out last night, and I'm sure I just wanted to celebrate finishing my last paper of the semester.

Yay?

Hmmm.

Yeah, I think yay!

It was incredibly weird being at Vinyl without the girls, but they were having a night in since Trish is getting MOTHERFUCKING married (Yup, not regular married but motherfucking married. I'm sure there's a difference) today! They're just doing a courthouse wedding with close friends and family, but I couldn't be happier for her.

But yeah (not so randomly) went out to a club with the roomies and assorted friends and just killed it all night. It was wonderful. But that may have been the cheap drinks talking. Seriously, $2 beers kick so much ass. And the music was different from the usual house/hip/hop stuff as they ended up playing some Journey and Queen to end off the night! I love having Journey and Queen end off my night! Even if the bouncer didn't time the camera right when we all jumped off the stage when they were kicking us out.

Speaking of bouncers, there was a real asshat one at Jimmy Jazz that got into it with Kate and Becca. That's what you get for letting our friends in to watch the jazz band play and try to ignore us. Asshat.

The bus ride home was so much fun for us, but probably awkward for other people. Specifically the dude we ended up inadvertently surrounding. He was a good sport though. We sang. We sang everything that more than 2 people knew the words to. There was more Disney tunes involved than I was entirely comfortable with. Also I might have "Hey Jude" stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

Good times had by all. Espe ially when we made grilled cheese at 4am. No better time for it as far as I'm concerned.

That's me. I really should be studying.

Mmmm Redheads...

Okay so a whole bunch of stuff has happened in the last few days that are blog-worthy...

...but I just read Becca's blog and I think I'm going to walk around shooting rainbows out of my orifices. Seriously. Made me feel really awesome. Karma IS a can of tuna, the story definitely wouldn't fail on Broadway, LUCK, and I know exactly what you mean by the Medusa reference...I hope.

Aww now I'm all smiley.

I've also had this hardcore Slipknot craving, so I put on grooveshark and away I went. Maybe it's just a Corey Taylor craving cause I put on Stonesour too. Meh, regardless the music I'm listening to right now is a bazillion times better than the music you're listening to right now. Probably.

Umm so my roommates are crazy awesome. They wrote a story dedicated to me with guest appearances by everyone in the house. It was so awesome! it had all my favourite things in it; Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and sideboob! (which was an awesome discussion we had the other night) I also like how they can't post it online cause it would make them seem like terrible, terrible people. They're not though.

Plus Kate gave me a fucking capo for my guitar last night! I don't know where these people came from, but I'm happy I live here. I also love all the secret by-play and plans that go around our house. Pretty much case I haven't been able to come up with any diabolical plans lately.

Almost though. But gah!

I have another "chicks are crazy!" story.

So I went to Karaoke night with Kate, Devin and some of their friends from residence. I planned on (and accomplished) getting wasted and actually going up and singing. Kate and Becca helped me butcher Hey Jude by the Beatles! Drunk fun! But yeah one of the friends was a cute redhead, and I was drunk. Of course I said something. Some friends are going out to a salsa night at a bar downtown and I invited cute redhead. I can't dance if I don't have a partner, duh! So after getting a firm "maybe" she asks for my phone and tells me to give her a call, and even if she doesn't come out to salsa I should giver a call sometime.

JACKPOT!

Alas some things really are too good to be true. She was definitely sexting her boyfriend all night at karaoke.

Strike 1.

Apparently having a boyfriend wouldn't stop her from messing around with me. I was very very sorely tempted but I'm just not that kind of guy. I've tried. I just don't have it in me.

Strike 2.

She also made a pass at a guy while we were outside the bar at the end of the night.

Strike 3, yer out.



But one good thing did come out of this. I've been struggling with whether I preffered blondes or redheads. It's been back and forth for a while, but I can confidently say that I definitly prefer redheads. Just not ones where you have to worry about STIs.

That's me. Dealing with the important issues! My mouth tastes like nasty grape smoke.

End of the world?

I think the world might be ending. I see the glow of a firestorm in the distance. I stand in the shadow of a wave that could engulf the city. I feel reality unravelling due to an unimaginable power. I taste the lightning.

My parents... just got cell phones.

*Krakow!*

*Boom!*

*Crash!*

*Zap!*

*Smash!*

*Kitty!*

Now one might ask what a middle aged deaf couple really needs with cell phones. And one could respond with the great text-only deals that very well could apply. One could even argue that a cell phone with a keypad is the exact same thing as the TTYs they've owned for years. One who is familiar with the situation could go so far as to say that it's terribly convenient to not have to deal with the (mostly) semi-retarded asshats that operate the relay services.

But. My. Parents. Have. Cell. Phones.

Oh and another funny thing just happened. Like right this instant as I was writing this post. it's just Aubrey and I hanging out in the living room in a dark house at 1am. Suddenly there's a loud noise. We can;t figure out what it was or where it came from. Aubz looked like she was going to wet herself.

So of course I get volunteered to go get axe murdered.

I check the the kitchen. Nothing. The stairs to the basement? Ghost free. Even the laundry room can't even give up a possessed Mr. Potato Head or something. Now I'm bored.

Idea! I scream like the devil just appeared in the form of slippers in the hope of freaking the hell outta Ombre. But I miscalculated a bit. I wasn't in the living room to see her reaction. Stupid! But I'm pretty sure she feared for my life, possibly jumped off the couch in terror. I hope? She, of course, admits nothing.

On a related note one of my roommates might be the Devil. The debate is ongoing.




Note: Not a real picture of a roommate (or the devil). Mostly cause I (probably) couldn't fool any of em into posing like this. Doesn't mean I won't try however. Maybe Jay will do it! He's pretty dumb!

I'm not-so-secretly super happy that my dumb-ass brother is going to be around for the foreseeable future. I mean it sucks how his life is working out at the moment, but mine's not going swimmingly either and having him around makes up for it a bit. Even having him in Niagara Falls and close enough to come visit on weekends (and vice versa) is so great. And I'm happy he gets to meet my roomies (who are kinda awesome).

Ooo and soon a trade happens. Ombre leaves and her friend takes over that room. However I think they have mostly the same friends so that's cool I guess. Becca and I facebook creeped her but neither of us came to a conclusive decision regarding if she is crazy/cool enough to hang out with us. We will find out soon.

Yup.

Oh and speaking of cool we watched so much Star Trek the Next Generation today/lately/this month. Worf broke a lute today! That's how we roll. Haters gotta hate, but Picard and his gang gunna straight up mash some fools.

That's me. Pretty much the whitest guy ever.

Huh?

I don't really feel like blogging today. But here I am. Plus I really do try hard to write everyday, even if it's just a little bit on one of my blogs. Practice makes perfect after all.

My roommates and I recreated our a living room setting in the library. Is awesome. Complete with snacks and people napping while others are getting work done.

Aubrey's computer is at 69%. She knew I'd appreciate that information. Becca said that every time she hears someone say something dirty she wishes I would be around cause she knows I'd appreciate it.

Poor Jayson. This just means we'll have to get extra drunk and have an even better time then we were already planning on having. I do hope I can get money back on the plane ticket though.

Drunk Spammy took a little while to clue in as to why a young lady wouldn't want to bend over a pool table in front of a bunch of random guys at the bar. Even if it's not really her birthday.


That's me. At least my socks are okay.

Been here before

So the last few days have been a bit disappointing, but unsurprising. I had a bank meeting to see if I could maybe set up a line of credit or a loan to pay osap so I could possibly go back to class next semester. My credit rating is pretty kick ass (fun thing to discover) but it still amounts to I would have to work a lot more than I am while still going to school. And then possibly be paying off the rest of my osap while also paying a bank loan. Yeah I don't know. I'm just playing it by ear at the moment, but I don't that will work out.

So I guess I'm pretty resigned to living in Guelph and just working.

Well in between the wild fantasies of randomly flying somewhere (Vancouver maybe) and starting all over again.

Been here before.

Just frustrated after the fight I had to put up after my osap kafuffle that happened in September to be laid low like this. My options for getting back to school in January just don't work out unfortunately. However I still have the option to come back next September. But I just don't know.

Okay, well it is what it is, and it sucks. Time to sack up, make a decision and move on pal. It's not like this is a totally new situation for ya anyways.



I have had a rather neat revelation lately though.

This book I'm reading. It might be changing my life. Kind of a big deal.

Sometimes you just read something, get some advice, hear a speech maybe, and it just makes sense. Something just clicks in your head. That is what is happening to me pretty much right at this moment. It's quite nice. I think I'd like this to happen more often. This kinda sounds like something I've said before. Yeah definitely sounds like something I'd say.

Oh and Jay gets to come visit soon! I like that. Mostly cause now I have someone around who understand my sense of humor. Maybe I'll stop getting the weird looks and hushed comments. It's nice having psychic powers. Even if it only is with one (slightly retarded) person.

So yeah I've been thinking and writing a bunch lately.

I like a lot of passages and lines and phrases form the books I read. My favourite though means a lot more than I first thought it did. You see there is this young... well I guess you could call them a couple. It's complicated. Anyway of of the things they talk about is a set of mystical Gardens that, according to local legend, are hidden on the nearby moon. It represents the innocence of them both. After all it's the belief in something special and mythical, but special all the same. They believe with the innocence and purity of youth, which in turn represents the feelings that they have a hard time admitting they have for each other.

But at one point one of them has no choice but to change. Not for the better, not for the worse, but in a way that irrevocably changes her life and the lives of those around her. Including the one who decides he wants to be with her. There are two sides to her, an innocent and vivacious young woman, and the person she has become. He chooses to appeal to her new dark nature, not realizing that that is not what she wants. She fell in love with the idealistic and impulsive young man and not the killer he becomes because he feels it would appeal to her new nature.

The innocence and purity of their courtship dissolves. They have changed from what they were and what they once believed in.

Eventually she leaves.

And he understands exactly why.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. They're just different now.

"And clouds closed fast around the moon, and one by one the gardens died."

That's me. Pink and mismatched socks in the Library. I don't know why.

That's me - 100 posts!

According to blogger this is my 100th blog post! Holy crap!

I'm still under the weather, still messed up over all this school shit going down, etc,etc,etc.

One thing thopugh, I'm still up for doing something fun. So that being said, we will get back to our usual program eventually but today we'll do something a little special.

I'm going through all 100 posts!

That's me. I only made it a few weeks. But feels so good to be back.

That's me. Trying to NOT figure people out. Harder than I thought.

That's me. Thinking always gets me into trouble. No matter which head I do it with

That's me. I'm sweet

That's me. Slightly weirded out over some similarities

That's me, pretending that I know what I'm talking about.

That's me. Haircut time?

That's me. Ninja turtle sammich!

That's me. I need a sarcasm sign. And a fire lit under my ass. And probably new underwear if I'm going to be lighting my ass on fire

That's me. Amused, confused and abused

That's me. Trying not to get my hopes up again

That's me, I fucking love unexpected phone conversations. Almost as fun as shlushee walks

That's me. Dead squirrels can really fill up a week.

That's me. You didn't call my bluff. I made you call my bluff. I'm a subtle fucker some days.

That's me. Testicle is a sound.

That's me. Dear Lordy I might be kinda normal. Wierd

That's me. Boobs :)

That's me. Jay gots a job! Go Jay!

That's me. Bachelor Party? Date for the wedding? Of course if I bring a date there's no chance of nailing a bridesmaid... Food for thought.

That's me 17 days to Jay and 45 to Liv.

That's me. I'd fuck a dragon

That's me. Dog food in shoes. Food for thought. And dogs.

That's me. I'm thinking of you naked. You reading this right now, I'm thinking of you naked. YOU.

That's me. Postcards are fun!

That's me. I hope it's me otherwise this could get wierd. But if it's not me then who is it? I hope it's not Jay. Hah I win again douchebag!

That's me. SOMETHING ACTUALLY WENT RIGHT FOR ONCE!

That's me. I like Pakoras! I still have a hard time believing there's no meat there.

That's me. My middle finger toe is longer than my big toe.

That's me. Chicks with braces. Why?

That's me. Apartment hunting.

That's me. I'm busy!

That's me. I'll bet B.A. Baraccas never had to worry about if HIS penis was taking control of his subconsciousness.

Any who, that's me. Slightly ALL OVER THE PLACE. And kinda loving it.

That's me. I'm educational today!

That's me. I can't decide what's crazier. Having conversations with myself, or having conversations with an imaginary Dragon

That's me. Not the drunkest person at this party. Yet.

That's me. Mostly nonviolent.

That's me. Yes, yes I am. DINOSAUR HUNTING!

That's me, brain dead and hungover.

That's me. Annoyed at Herbert for not knowing what a bus is.

That's me, picking courses for the fall!

Anywho, that's me. Not sick and being productive!

That's me. No children under the age of 18 were harmed in the making of this blog...this time. Muahahahahahahahahahahahah.

That's me. Also, I am awesome.

That's me. Thinking birthday thoughts. Jay is so not invited.

That's me. My left shoe might be more worn down, but my right shoe is my ass kicking shoe so I don't mess with it as much.

That's me. I've lost 20 pounds. "I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised." -shitmydadsays.

That's me. Think smarter, not harder.

That's me. I think Mitch Hedburg said it best when he said "That tree is really far away".

That's me. By the time I post again I will be 25! But don't worry I promise I won't mature or anything stupid like that.

That's me. Sorry for not punching a hooker.

That's me. I'm so mad I hate Wookies.

That's me. I get to clean up and be social tommorow! Also, there will be booze.

That's me. Yay rain checks with 11 beers! Maybe I'll get sushi too! Mmm sushi.

That's me. I MIGHT BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING AFTER ALL!

That's me. Italian is on my ishuffle! How do I get it off?

That's me. I love having facebook battles with Jay. I also love how the uninformed think we hate each other.

That's me. Jay is such a gir. Yes I spelled that right.

That's me. No girl drama! However the night is young.

That's me. If you ARE reading this blog for the political theory then I say let the fantasy authors take over. They have more practical experince in creating AND solving the most messed up political situations then the people we have in power that create and attempt to solve the situations we're dealing with now. Also, they could get science working on Dragons.

That's me. Unreasonable as I may be sometimes, I still try to have a lot of fun.

That's me./ I'll be everyone's friend when I can make tacos... with my mind.

That's me. I hope. If it's not me someone let me know.

That's me. Hell if I know what I'm talking about. Smegma

That's me. Go watch High Fidelity

That's me. I have watched SO MANY movies the last few days. I can't even remember em all.

That's me. Work then Niagara Falls this weekend!

That's me, trying to stay classy.

That's me. First day of classes is day after tomorrow. I should get pens. 15 of them maybe.

That's me, FIRST DAY OF SKOOL! Having another "girls are dumb" week though.

That's me. DAFT! OY VEY! SCHMUCK!

That's me. Go see Machette and you'll learn about intestines!

That's me. Zombieland is still an awesome movie even if it make me think up stupid shit.

That's me. I am hero.

That's me. A certain someone might get a turn if she doesn't start blogging again.

That's me. I'm not really going to jump on a cat. No matter how judgmental they get when you drink

That's me. Want to pet my Wookie?

That's me. Still trying to do my best.

That's me. Rest assured, a cake frosted with regular icing instead of shame goes down a lot smoother.

That's me, having way to much fun making fun.

That's me. Trying not to be too sad that Lysee isn't going to be here for crissymas.

That's me! Wish me luck on midterms or suffer a painful and debilitating paper cut! Maybe. My magical powers haven't been acting up to par lately.

That's me. Magical powers still on the fritz, I pulled a hufflepuff out of my hat today instead of a bunny, boy was my face red.

That's me. Yes that was rap. Ish. Now go get laid everybody. I can't use my magical powers for that. That would be unethical.

That's me. Big Geek! I feel old looking at the dates these cds came out. Good thing I'm still awesome.

That's me. Do I ever love listening to people play music in dark, candle lit rooms.

That's me. Hope everyone eats lots of candy.

That's me. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

That's me. Just a big dumb kid at heart.

That's me, HAPPY MONDAY. Fuck I'm bored.

That's me. Hey life, I'm going to fuck you sideways until you respect me.

That's me. Sick. Tired. Sleepy.

That's me. It only happens when you're not trying.

That's me. Now I have to find a picture of a scary pony and think of a smart ass response using kinds of cheese.

THAT'S ME

Horseshoes

You know how when a person is lucky, it is sometimes said that "they have a horseshoe up their ass"?

What's the opposite of that? Because I think I have that.

My poor ass.

I tend to have bad luck sometimes. It comes and goes. It came hardcore this week. And not in the good, fun loving, some one's wearing a care-bear suit and beating me with a paddle kind of way either.




I won't be going back to school next semester.

Yeah.

It involves a lot of weird financial jargon and oddness but it comes down to OSAP hates me and wants me to die uneducated. Ish.

I do have the option of selling an important body part and being able to make it back next September. I just don't know. I've had so many problems with OSAP and I even struggle with what a philosophy degree is going to do for me anyway. I just don't know. I'm still going to finish out the semester, and kick ass like I've been doing in all my classes. But I'm not a happy camper.

But it doesn't mean I've given up. I'm just going to redirect my efforts/money/life into something else is all. I've been looking for freelance online writing gigs, I have lots of time to work on my short stories, and I'm even looking into writing conferences and workshops and such. All is not lost.

In the meantime I have to work and work and work some more. I also need to find another place that will let me do that for them as well. I'm just not a fan of working a cash register or a phone line more than I already have. But for now it's not like I have much choice.

I liked being a University student. I liked that I was doing better than I ever thought I would. I can't believe at one point I thought I wasn't going to be able to make it through an undergrad program. I liked being part of something big and special and surrounded by people all heading towards the same goal of getting educated. Sounds corny I know, but it really did mean something to me.

But yet again Jay was able to point some things out for me (this is why I keep him around). It's not like I don't have options or ambitions that I have the ability to fulfill. It's not like I don't have awesome roommates and friends. It's not like I don't have people who are going to back me up regardless of what I do.

Oh and I'm sick too. I spent the whole day in my room yesterday with a fever and headache and sore throat. Not fun. I can't even drink my sorrows away!

Also we lost the remote for the television so I can't change the input on the tv so I can watch Star Trek or play Xbox.

Balls to this week! Balls I say!

That's me. Now I have to find a picture of a scary pony and think of a smart ass response using kinds of cheese.

Sappy Fool

I like playing the fool. I spent a lot of time trying to be solemn and respectful, and I still am. I do happen to be generally a nice guy. But I like playing around, giving people I like a hard time. I'm just a big kid. I still read comic books and eat junk food and play too much video games. This is me. I like it.

I had a great Saturday. But other people had an even greater Saturday.

Trish is getting fucking MARRIED. I've known for a long time but it really kicked in the night of her bachelorette party. Not that I went (Dallen: that part is for just chicks only, even Dragons know that).

But Matt (Dallen: HI MATT) came over for some pre drinking and hanging out so we could meet the bachelorette party at the bar when they were done all their chick only junk. We had a great time, we had another night where we turned all the lights off and lit candles and people sang and played the guitar. One of my favourite things about living where I do. I get blown away, I love nights like that. Plus, we had pan-cake and pudding cake. I can't wait until I can join in with more than a tambourine.

Oh yeah and Matt brought over Stephen king's writing book, On writing. We've been talking about him lending it to me for months now. I am a happy camper.

At that point I was on cloud 9 and grinning like a fool.

Anyway we got downtown and met the ladies as they were making their way to the the club, and we got to see some people I haven't seen in a while. The rest of the night is a blur of dancing and beer and tequila shots. I had a good time. I especially like the sashes that Rachel and Alison were wearing stating "Maid of Fucking Honor". So awesome.

I think. Things get a little blurry.

I know I walked Cassie home. I have this thing about walking young women to their doorsteps. I've been doing it as long as I can remember.

Apparently I got home in the wee hours of the morning and asked for some tweezers. Rumor has I punched a rosebush.(Dallen: understandable, rose bushes are uppity) Of course I got that bush back. I threw up in it. Allegedly. Also I supposedly went on a huge rant about my love life. That's pretty believable though as it definitely sounds like something drunk Spammy would discuss.

Sunday was hangover day. I woke up at 8:30am and went downstairs. I watched Star Trek and complained. I got my lunch burned on me (Dallen: No thanks to Hombre!) and I ate it and I complained. I watched Good Will Hunting, but I didn't complain cause I was feeling a bit better and cause that movie kicks so much ass. I went to work and complained. I called Jay and complained. Mom tried to call me and I complained. I went to sleep. I might even have complained.

But I'm cool now.

Well kinda.

Today I am a sappy idealistic fool.

You have been warned.

Romance?

Yep we're going there. I blame the weird conversations I've had the last few days. And maybe Trish for getting married and making me think about all this crap. And maybe my playlist.

Screw you. Marilyn Manson make wonderfully romantic music. Also Dry Kill Logic, Trivium, As I Lay Dying and Killswitch Engage.(Dallen: He's not even being sarcastic or nothing).

Bt yeah, here goes:

Sitting in a basement with a very inexplicably sad person I cared about. Pouring rain pounding against the glass door leading to the backyard. And me, always in a little bit over my head. But I remember something, a conversation, that we had a few weeks before. I don't think. I move. I have a weird hatred for rain. She knows. But not on that day. I throw open the sliding door. I walk over to the bed she is sitting on. I tell her to come with me. She sits up. She is confused. She wants to know what is going on. I didn't take that for an answer. I pick her up and carry her outside in the rain. I put her on her feet. The confused look on her face is worth it. I take her into my arms. I start into what I best recall of a simple waltz. I am a terrible dancer. She knows. The warm summer rain is cascading over us. She melts. She starts to cry. Because I remembered. I angle her towards the drain pipe, drenching us both. I lean in. Our lips touch. I forget where and who I am for a minute, or two, or ten. I don't remember.

She always wanted to dance in the rain.



That's me. It only happens when you're not trying.

Sick and Tired

This is what I did this afternoon instead of working on an essay. Also I'm not feeling very well and osap is still out to get me.

Sam (Me): Dallen I think you were misnamed. You remind me of neither Denny nor Allen.

Dallen the Dragon: Well don't you look stupid then don't you.

S: Why would I look stupid? You're the one not pulling his rather enormous weight. You'd think being a huge creature of mythical proportions that your huge ass brain would be good for some witty banter.

D: Oo good one! Fat jokes around something that can and will eat you, and not in the good way either. For that matter you always look stupid, but in this case you're the one who named me you moron. Not to mention you made a poem for Hombre.

S: Yep that poem was pure... well poetry. Hah. But it's not her fault you're not living up to expectations you overgrown iguana.

D: Whoa, you did not just drop the I-bomb. Tell me you didn't just go there you you fucking monkey.

S: Gecko.

D: Ape.

S: Chameleon.

D: Chimp.

S: Newt

D: Orangutan.

S: Lizard.

D: Baboon.

S: T-Rex.

D: Do I look like a dinosaur! I have wings you high-functioning retard.

S: Actually you do kinda look like a T-rex.

D: Are you fucking blind! I have wings and talons and magical fucking powers. Dinosaurs just spent a lot of time eating each other and finding places for you humans to discover petrified dinosaur shit.

S: Hey princess, want some cheese with your whine?

D: Princess? Fuck you, I eat princesses!

S: Yeah princess, you sound like an 8 year old in a dress.

D: You're an asshole.

S: Fuck you.

D: ....

S: ....

D: Done?

S: Yeah.

D: Beer?

S: Yeah.

That's me. Sick. Tired. Sleepy.

Bring it on

So I've been having a rather crappy last few days. It sucks!

Apparently god/osap/the freeking UofG/women everywhere (not relevant but probably true) hates me and doesn't want me to educate myself. This means paperwork, phone calls, appointments etc. I remember when I went to Fleming and never ever ever had a problem.

Gah!

But I'm fine now.

Ish.

So I went and got shitfaced. Royally. It was great!

I didn't know Jimmy Jazz had a patio but it was fun! So was the free beer we won during trivia! Plus i just kinda don't get to hang out with the girls a whole lot anymore so seeing them was all kinds of good.

My roommates had a good time too! They really screwed with drunk Spammy's head by having someone whose name wasn't in my phone text me responses to the questions I was asking them. I was kinda freaking out cause I had no idea what was going on.

Friends: people who like you enough to fuck with your head while you're drinking.

The hangover...err not so much fun. totally worth it though. Plus it was an excuse to sit on the couch all day and play Final Fantasy 6, read Brandon Sanderson, take a long ass nap and watch movies.

Bonus geek points! Cause if you don't have a girlfriend, who cares how proud you are that Setzer and Locke learned all the espers before/during the floating continent, that you totally called that the priest/friend dude of Shallen's was faking it and how much you enjoyed watching Lethal Weapon 1 2 3 back to back the same night.

Cause that's how I roll.

The methods I've been using to cheer me up have actually cheered me up (weird how that happens eh?). I got to call Lysee and that was fun trying to catch each other up on life while trying to keep the phone call to under a less-than-bank-account-breaking time limit. Still sucks that she isn't gonna be around for Christmas. Stupid Vancouver has to be all the way across the line of "places I can't afford to go".(Which is pretty much anyplace that's not here)

I also talked to Jay and he told me some stuff I really needed to hear, which is pretty much the only thing he's good for besides sending me books. It's still funny that people look at our facebook walls and think we hate each other. I can't wait for his dumb ass to get home.

But yeah, I'm not all angry and shit anymore. I'm just really annoyed. I know what I'll do if things go south, as regardless of how my school shit turns out I still have options. I just needed Jay to point that out.



About a year ago I started a crazy quarter life crisis, and it's been a wild freaking ride. I think I have my shit together now, but it was really touch and go there for a second. I just don't want to have to go through that again, and I'm struggling a bit with all this administrative bullshit that has the potential to really screw things up.

But what got me through before was not backing down from what I wanted and tons of support from people who matter. I can take solace in the fact that if things get even remotely close to as fucked up as they got last year I know what to do.

And I have options.

I'm never as bad off as I think I am. And god help anyone who gets in my way, cause my friends are better than yours. Also mine are more inclined to blind rage, destroying people psychologically and unpredictable violence.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

That's me. Hey life, I'm going to fuck you sideways until you respect me.

BRING. IT. ON.

I'm bored.

So apparantly Smeagol won out. Or maybe Gollum? Well regardless I'm not seeing the chick with multiple personalities. Whcih I had actually decided not to do anyways. Just for the record.

Okay.

My brother is an asshole.

The truth hurts doesn't it.

You see, Jay gets annoyed that I don't let him read anything I'm writing. I refuse to show him anything until it gets in print. Online stuff doesn't really count. Well maybe. Depends on if the online school philosophy magazine takes the story that I'm working on.

I am officially a no shoe in the library person. It's very liberating.

Anywho,

But he's just a smart ass. He likes to needle me incessantly about stuff I do that bugs him. He sent me link just to bug me about not showing him my writing. Jerk.

I can even see the justification process going on in his head:

"He doesn't show me his writing so I can't tell if he's doing it right or not, so I better send him this list to make sure he knows what not to do. I'm helping!"

I'm so annoyed I was thinking of using his name for Gau instead of Locke. (In my family that's a threat!)

http://www.rinkworks.com/fnovel/

Turns out most of stories hold up pretty well, except for the bit about puns.

I love puns!

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The food taster quit his job because he had too much on his plate.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Becca is sitting beside me talking about Valentine's Day being tommorow. IT'S NOT VALENTINE"S DAY TOMMOROW!

So my weekend was pretty uneventful.

Most of my roommates weren't in the house so it was pretty quiet. Well except for Saturday when I got off work, but that was my own fault. I ended up coming home to a completely empty house and that hasn't happened since August, and I was kinda restless. So I put some music on my xbox, turned the volume up as loud as it could go and three hours later the living room and kitchen were immaculate and my second load of laundry was in the dryer.

KITTEN MITTENS.

I just get restless and need stuff to do with my hands.

Speaking of which I think I'm going to buy more hemp and spend another day in the library being mostly unproductive. Rachie gave me a hard time for having "friendship bracelets". Well I have some very inappropriate suggestions as to what she can do with a variety of unwilling barnyard animals. I just like them, and more so I like making them. So there.

It has nothing to do with how pretty they are.

FUNNY LOTR



That's me, HAPPY MONDAY. Fuck I'm bored.

Stupid Socks

I used to have lots of socks, black ones, grey ones, whites ones, and at one point I went a little crazy and picked up some navy blue ones.

Think I could find any this morning?

Nope.

What the hell!?!? How does that even happen?

I sometimes have the same issues with my boxers, but that my friends is a ninja turtle mask of a different color.

Black maybe?

Funny thing is, Dallen told me he wouldn't eat my undergarments if his life depended on it. A Dragon wont eat my junk! They breathe fire! It's not like they put a huge reliance on their taste buds. Well I dunno. (Dallen: Nope, definitly don't.) So what the fuck is happening to my stuff!?!?!

Speaking of underpants, I have another weird chick story. (no actual underpants involved-sorry)

So I got a phone number the same night as our Halloween party last week. I think it might be the new facial hair, or the Halloween bling. Probably not the lame ass I-hope-she-realized-I-was-kidding lines I used to flirt. Aw well at least I didn''t try the "Would you like to pet my wookie?" one. (However I still feel that with the right girl and under the right circumstances, this line will get me laid).

Anywho I called the number and got a real person. Good sign. Even better it was the girl that gave me the number. Better sign.

Now presumably, if you give a person you don't really know your (real) phone number after flirting for a while it's because you're interested in getting to know that person. Or get some action. Either way I feel like there is an understanding that you are going to meet up at some for coffee, dinner, candle lit massage, laser tag, whatever.

I brought up that I was interested in meeting up on campus for a coffee sometime this week. I mean, let's face it, any chick willing to smile and giggle at me for playing the fool is someone I'd like to get to know. I thought this was a good move. I have an issue with having primary contact over the phone or online, I like to do the face to face thing. So I thought an innocent (and easily cut short) coffee meet up would be appropriate.

Now I expected one of a number of responses. Like "ew", or "I have to wash my hair", maybe "I'm busy maybe some other time", possibly "Sure that sounds nice" (Uncommon, but the desired response), or my favourite " I have to go save the world from an unidentified threat using superpowers I recently developed, how's next week for you?" (true story...not allowed to talk about it).

What I received, or I should say witnessed, was a conversation of Gollum/Smeagol proportions. She had a debate with herself on whether or not she would see me while I was on the phone with her.

It went something like this:

"Should I go out with him? Well he does seem like a nice guy. It's just whenever I give out my number it doesn't end well. "Then again, it wasn't like I met him in a bar. Hmm I didn't meet Jared in bar and that didn't go very well. But it has been a while since I went on a date.

I was kinda in shock. Do I say something, interject somehow? Do I let it play itself out? Am I really interested in meeting her anymore?

She had to go to class but she is apparently going to call me back.

No idea as to what I'm going to do.

Worst part is I don't even know if it's Gollum or Smeagol that I should be cheering for!

I'm rather annoyed though. The girls I get interested in are off limits/interested in other people. The girls who are interested in me are usually just a step down from criminally insane (some of them not a very long step down either).

However life has been making a lot of sense lately so that's a good thing. Yesterday was a good day, I got some great marks back (85 on a philosophy paper and a 93 on a group paper), I got a box full of (SUPERAWESOMEAMAZING) fantasy books, and I made tacos for dinner. I like tacos.

Today I made some hemp bracelets. I think I have too much desire for accessories. the girls would be proud though. I had a hemp necklace and bracelet for the longest time, and I wore a ring for years. Lately I've been thinking getting a bunch of that crap again (but without all the ex girlfriend hangups that accompanied the originals).

Awesome: You may recall that Drunk Spammy gave some advice last week. Well the guy I was speaking with met up with us in the Library and thanked me for what I said. I felt so proud, really made my day.

More awesome: He went on to say that I seemed very passionate about what we were talking about, and that I sounded very similar when I was discussing Star Wars later that night.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Definitely a moment worth cheering about.

Oh and new music. Band was recommend and I'm getting into it.



That's me. Just a big dumb kid at heart.

Dragon!!!!!

Naming a Dragon is really intense.
It's not unlike building a fence.
You check out the posts and that is the basis
For not wanting to punch your friends in their faces

I laughed and I cried,
I died a little inside
Who will be the one to knock me off my feet
When all the suggestions make me want to delete.

Then Ombre appeared, surrounded by light
And I knew she wouldn't give up the fight
Dallen she exclaimed with a grin and a laugh
A good name for a dragon and not a giraffe.

My mind is at ease, I am now content
Naming a dragon, oh what an event.
This event was really bizarre,
What will happen when I name my guitar.

Becca also appeared, surrounded by light
being much more awesome than aubrey (sam should not leave his computer unattended at the library)

The End.

Holy crapballs tons of shit went down on my facebook wall about this. Hilarious though. Some points though

Hilary is not a good dragon name. Josh didn't have to be mean about it though.

Neither are names belonging to other, famous dragons.

Names that I don't understand (made up words) don't count.

Unigon sounds like stupid.

Nice try everyone. Mostly.

Also the other day Steve threatened to straight up murder me with a camel. What the fuzzy?

First, camels spit. Not scary.
Second, camels have humps. I love hump(ing). Not scary.
Third. Camels live in the desert. Good luck getting one to Canada in the winter. Not scary.

See what I did there?

Your move "Steve".

Commie.

Funny shit I heard recently:

Tacos advertise themselves. If you don't like tacos you have no soul and people will not complain if I kill you.

If you give a girl a gold ring with emeralds and jewels and stuff she better put out.

If you fuck with geese they will bite you in the face.

...and suddenly it;'s tomorrow and I haven't accomplished anything.

I was mad at someone for what they did in a dream. My boyfriend is going to get his ass kicked when he gets home.

STORMTROOPER DOCTORS



That's me. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

Stories

It's Monday!

I'm walking around the library without shoes today. It's very liberating.

That means it's time for every one's favourite game show: what kind of drunken ass did spammy make of himself this time?

The answer? Not much actually. Kate did get a picture of the cop car from Saturday night though.

Anywho.

Friday I went shopping with Ombre and Corrine, the idea being we'd hit up the music stores downtown looking for a harmonica and possibly some sort of assorted rhythm stuff so we could include more people when the guitars get busted out. However I kinda miscalculated. I wanted to go shopping. However I should have taken some things into account. Namely: women. Somehow I ended up pacing around a teashop for what felt like forever (but was still like 1/2 hour which is like 20 minutes too long in my opinion). I did like the orange ginger sample though.

The rest of the night was a huge mess of drinking and watching my roommates put together their Lion King costumes. My plans for Halloween were all over the place this year, so I didn't join in the Lion King fun, and the costumes turned out pretty awesome. But drinking and taking turns picking music was all kinds of awesome. Good time. Oo and drunken pumpkin carving. Yeah orange guts everywhere. For some reason Becca was throwing them against the stove. But I got my bat-signal pumpkin so I was happy.

We have completely takne over a corner of the Library.

My costume was just black robes and some Haloweeny bling. I was kinda going for the whole "dark jedi look". However you can't tell the girl you're flirting with at the check out counter that you're a dark jedi without sounding like a virgin. But it was still pretty good. I got a lot of play at work when I wore it so I'm not complaining. The robes played. I also had a little kid tug on my robes and shyly tell me how much she like my Halloween necklace. Cutest kid ever. I feel like all kids should dress up as little dragons.

Speaking of Dragons, the search is still on for a name for the new one that lives on this blog. GIVE SUGGESTIONS! I have lots of poem ideas.

But yeah Saturday was a shit show.

I got home from work and the place was already kicking. "Have you ever heard of a catch up shot"? I hadn't. Turns out its just like 3 shots of whiskey in a glass. It fucking hurt. So worth it. Plus I discovered I like sangria, which is pretty much just red wine and fruit punch. Then someone kept putting whiskey in my glass and it get kinda blurry. It looks like I gave more drunk spammy advice on inspiration and finding what you love. one of these days I'm going to remember what I say and write it down.

Also there was a funnel, which got very suggestive. Even more suggestive was how easily the girls took to it.

No one ever want to tell secrets about me in the library.

Cigar smoking with Bilbo and geeking out with a rather intense discussion on whether or not Glamdring (Gandalf's sword) could hold up against a lightsaber.

Cause we're so bad ass like that. Thug life yo.

Hah and there was such an intense and engaging discussion about chips and salsa. A bunch of us were on one couch watching intently as Brad and Devin argued intently about the salt content of tortilla chips, salsa and snacking in general. And salsa get everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Apparently.

I might have broken my foot rub rule. It's about fucking time.

There are tons of stories but I honestly can't remember them until I get reminded. I wore a unicorn head. Becca got really rude. Brad knocked over the shampoo bottles. Kate's sister got very very high school. Kate ripped a shirt. Devin chased people with booze. The cops drove by and talked to a bunch of people leaving the house. People we didn't actually know.

Good fucking weekend. Plus I like it when people play the guitar and everyone sings along. I think that part is usually my favourite. Hopefully I'll be able to join in soon. And by soon I mean next semester.

I love puns. That my o-pun-ion.

Nice!

That's me. Hope everyone eats lots of candy.

OMFG

Yeah so I changed it again. I had compaints that the black background was fucking with people's eyes.

I blame Steve. She was the straw that broke the camel's back. I have a camel. (but don't tell her I called her Steve, she hates that)

I like my dragon, but then I like all dragons. I kinda miss Herbert (he was the red one that used to live on my blog back in the day).

Ooo Idea!

I'll take requests for a name for the dragon that lives on my blog. Winner gets a poem dedicated to how they came up with a name for my dragon. Post on the comments or on my facebook wall.

Umm any evenftful crap?

Well yesterday the gods were out to get me. Seriously. I saw almost every one of my exes. I don't consider some "real" exes as I never "really" dated them, but still this went way to far to be coincidence. It actaully took me a second to remember I hated Mel, cause I so would have been down for a chat. Mostly to annoy the fuck out of her. Dumb bitch didn't think I could get into University.

I'm mostly willing to let bygones be bygones, but it's funny how no one else feels that way. Just because it's done and over with someone doesn't mean you can't be polite in a public setting, am I right?

Of course since I date all the crazies maybe the rules are different.

Oh and I had a song stuck in my head for most of the day. I was rocking out in the middle of the library playing the "air drums".

Cause I'm so cool like that.

This song. Turn the volume up.




That's me. Do I ever love listening to people play music in dark, candle lit rooms.

Top 5 Cds from when I was a kid

Top 5 Cds from when I was a kid

5) No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom

I spent hours and hours with this CD in my neighbour's driveway being all cool and prepubescent and hanging out with the "cool" older kids.

4) Savage Garden -Truly Madly Deeply

This one goes into the "embarrassed to admit I owned" pile. It just proves I'm a sucker for sappy sappy crap. Good memories of sixth grade though.

3) Our Lady Peace - Clumsy

Still their best music, hands down.

2) Finger 11- Greyest of Blue Skies

Remember when Finger 11 was good? This was the pinnacle right here. I still fucking listen to this album on a regular basis.

1) Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory

This was my first foray into something a little bit heavier than the stuff I usually listened to. I think I still have every song memorized perfectly.

Jay is going to remember this shit.

Yeah so it's definitely a bit different form most of the stuff I listen to now. I have a hard time defining it all but I know I like it or I wouldn't listen to it.

However since we're only a few days to work playing Christmas carols for 2 months straight (and often different versions of the same ones) I shouldn't be complaining about music.

Note: I do like Christmas music but not hours and hours of the same stuff all freeking day. The only time I'll be happy that I only work weekends at the moment.

I've kinda been in a funk the last few days, struggling a bit. I went out and bought stuff I couldn't really afford (cause that's what I do).

Wanna know what turned it around? I got completely shot down by a girl this morning who I was just attempting to chat politely to. I wasn't even making a pass at her! I just really liked her Star Wars shirt. And to be honest, if you didn't want the geeky attention you shouldn't have been wearing a star wars shirt. Geeks can and will be scared of you when you show off your tits or show off how nice your ass looks in yoga pants... but with Star Wars it's fair game. (Also, Star Wars + cleavage is one of the greatest things ever) But yeah I think she thought I was trying to rape her or something cause she actually called her friend over to rescue her and take her away.

All I said was I was sad to miss out on the Star Wars orchestral show when they came to Hamilton this summer.

I think I hurt something holding my laughter in. Also I got to move up in the Subway (restaurant) line and that was nice too. That line gets long at lunchtime and I had a craving for a meatball sub.

I don't know why this turned it around for me but it did. Stuck up moron had no idea about my story that might not be getting published after all, my struggle with the idea of becoming a writer, my batshit crazy chick problems or how I might not be able to do a semester overseas somewhere. She just saw a geek that somehow managed to offend her by being polite.

No matter how things get in life I take comfort in the fact that I will never understand women. Also some people are retarded, and that makes me smile.

Besides, it's not like she was a redhead wearing a Firefly shirt.



Yes I could have picked any song off the album. But this one always does it for me. Too bad they suck now.

That's me. Big Geek! I feel old looking at the dates these cds came out. Good thing I'm still awesome.



One more? Well don't mind if I do.