So I've been trying to figure out what it is that lights a fire under my ass. Trying to figure out what my passions are, and maybe that will lead into some kind of motivation to kick start something. At the very least I just want to figure out just what is is I want.

Marilyn went on a great semi-rant the other day in the break room. She loves working with and educating people, mostly in a one on one setting. So that's what she does. She volunteers at 2 schools, at an adult education centre and will be going to school starting this summer to make it a career. She want to teach ESL. A fifty year old mother of 3 is more ambitious than I am. In my defense, she has a very outgoing and take no shit attitude, and when she puts her mind to something, she makes it happen.

I thought maybe I should try that.

Turns out my shortlist is just that.

I read. And read. And read some more. I love to do it. Exploring new worlds (especially in a fantasy setting) appeals to me. Which probably leads into my huge desire to do some travelling. Even though I've barely done anything I know I want to get out and around, cross an ocean or two.

I do like to write. The funny thing is that I prefer updating a blog more than I do the short stories I put together and send off. The blog is fun and raw and unedited. The short stories and the storyboarding and research and stuff is a lot of work. And some days it feels like work. And I don't know how I feel about that. I can't even show the sort stories to people I like, and that's not a good sign. So I don't know how I feel about writing. I'll never stop blogging, lord knows I've tried.

I like learning stuff. So it was probably a good thing to apply to the UofG.

Listening to music is what gets me through my day. Period. Without music I'd be on Springer getting beat up by a redneck pimp wearing only a tie while a disease ridden hooker goes off the hook cause I didn't cross the street when she is clearly the queen of the universe. Playing music and leaning music isn't going so great. But I'm not ready to give up on it quite yet. I know people who could just sit and play a piano or a guitar for hours and hours on end. That's not me. Not yet anyways.

I like the gym. But that mostly out of boredom and an attempt to get me to sleep properly at night. I have bee toying with the idea of taking group fitness training or something. But first I have to not be a tubby geek. Which I'm working on.

So books, learning, music, travel, maybe writing, and the gym. Now make it work for me.

That's as far as I am at the moment with this.

I hate that whenever work seems to actually be a decent place, something happens to fuck me right over. I don't fucking care anymore. I love the staff but I can't keep doing this bullshit anymore. Fuck you work, even if I get into university I'm getting the fuck outta there. Goddamn it all I wish that Indigo would have worked out for me. But there's a lot of stuff I can wish for if that's what we're doing. I hate that I refuse to work a call centre or in a kitchen. But I will not do either of those things.

Urgh, this little blurb might have had more power if I hadn't said it a bazillion fucking times before. The trick is to actually do something about it this time.

Oh and go see Kick-Ass. Easily the most awesome movie I've seen since Sherlock Holmes.

Yay summer movie season. I'm going to go see The Losers on Tuesday. I'm happy I have regular company for cheap nights in Cambridge again. Even if there's no chance of getting action with said company. But hey, can't have everything :)

That's me. I need a sarcasm sign. And a fire lit under my ass. And probably new underwear if I'm going to be lighting my ass on fire.