I may not be perfect, but I'll always try.

Soon is not now.

It's okay if you can't see your testicles as long as you know where they are.

He's just busting your chops. Your chops are your nuts, right?

I can't wait to pack THAT into my colon.

I'll hold your hair if you're going to barf in the simulator.

I could lick you all day long. And my children think I'm a failure.

So with the recent "getting fucked over raw" at work thing going on, I've decided I'm just going to be very tired, starting now and for as long as I can pull it off. With the job hunt not going so well, that means the foreseeable future. This week I hit the gym everyday. Who knows, maybe it'll help with my whole sleeping problem. It hasn't yet but maybe since I'm going to go everyday instead of every other day.

At the Y today there was a girl just bawling at one of the tables in the foyer. I came back with a tissue pack from my car. I was still an asshole for being a man, but apparently there is hope for my gender. I know I'm an asshole, I'm a man, but I don't think I've ever been hope before. I like being hope.

So I sent off a copy of my resume, a cover letter and a couple bucks to 2 more agencies that hire for cruise lines. Working on a cruise ship hits a lot of stuff I've been trying to accomplish. Or so I'd like to believe. Anyways it's not like I have anything to lose. And even with an agency taking a portion of my weekly wages it's still more money than I'm making now.

I need a full time job. At least for the summer. Y'know what's really motivating? My parents have put their house up on the market. Y'know what's really fucking aggravating? That I get to hold their fucking hands while they sell the house but they won't take any of my advice. Cause I wouldn't know anything about selling a house. Arrgh. Watching all those home improvement and decorating shows apparently makes one an expert.

I gets people this week! Josh and Lysee. Meg too I guess. Lysee is temporary but good. Josh hopefully not so temporary and good. Meg can get us beer maybe? Kidding. Mostly. I think I'm going to actually try with Meg, and when I meet Janice.

There is something I know for certain. The next girl that meets my parents does so at the wedding rehearsal dinner. Possibly as early as after I pop the question. No sooner than that If I have the choice.

That's me. Amused, confused and abused.