Top 5 Calvin and Hobbes ideas on girls

Top 5 Calvin and Hobbes ideas on girls

5) "Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what."

Resisting the urge to make a comment about pie.

4)"Here comes that new girl. HEY SUSIE DERKINS, IS THAT YOUR FACE OR IS A POSSUM STUCK IN YOUR COLLAR? I HOPE YOU SUFFER A DEBILITATING BRAIN ANEURYSM, YOU FREAK!"
"She *cute*, isnt she?"
"GO AWAY!"

Harsh but fair. When you're a kid nobody wants the girl you're crushing on to know you're crushing on her.

3) This meeting of the Get Rid Of Slimy Girls club will now come to order. First Tiger Hobbes will read the minutes of our last meeting."

"Thank you. (9:30) Meeting called to order. Dictator For Life Calvin proposed resolution condemning the existence of girls. (9:35) First Tiger Hobbes abstains from vote. Motion fails. (9:36) Patriotism of First Tiger called into question. (9:37) Philosophical discussion. (10:15) Bandages administered. Dictator For Life rebuked for biting. (10:16) Forgot what debate was about. Medals of bravery awarded to all parties.

Jay and I started our own chapter, however it might not work as he's living with his girlfriend and I just started dating someone. Rebuttal: this may only apply to slimy girls and the ones we like may not be slimy. Counter rebuttal: I don't think Jay's ever dated a girl that wasn't slimy.

Note to self: Don't show girls I'm dating this blog

2) "Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination"

This is totally true, as reason and wit always trump lame jokes about sammich making or kitchen appliances. Depending on who's close enough to hear you anyway.

1) "Do you like being a girl?"
"Its gotta be better than the alternative."
"Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
"Like a WHAT?"
"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."

Assuming superiority mans never having to say you're sorry. Also it means never having a girlfriend. The shit is going to hit the fan when Calvin turns 14.

This idea was TOTALLY stolen from the facebook drama that is unfolding on Jay's wall after posting Calvin and Hobbes stuff. Also Calvin and hobbes is the most super awesome comic strip ever invented and should be read by everyone with a sense of humor.

Hope everybody had a happy Turkey/Tofurkey Day! And if you're not Canadain I'll try not to feel bad for eating the huge homemade apple pie sitting on my counter.

That's me, having way to much fun making fun.