This one's for becca!

I am a snail's godfather.

Yup.

I had a weekend.

Jay likes my Monday afternoon blog posts cause he is fascinated by my weekends lately. He should. my weekends are 10 times better than his. It also bugs me that stuff happens to me at work that never happen to him. But then again, I've always been the more interesting one. He better send me those fucking books soon.

Thursday night was awesome again. We played glow in the dark Mini Putt! And I got to watch Bloodsport! The waitress at swiss chalet was kinda dumb though.

But cheap beer and pool and open mike night is always great! Alas, I remember when I used to be good at pool. But it was funny, roommate who sings was all like "I don't wanna sing for open mike night tonight"... and then she was like "maybe just like 1 song"... then she was all like "okay maybe like 3 songs"... and then she was all like "well now that I'm up in front of everyone I want to keep going".

FAME IS ADDICTING PEOPLE! Even when playing in a bar in front of a bunch of drunken friends. The trick is to get more and more drunken friends every week. The plans are in the making. She's so singing again this week.

I think it was the cheering that did it. And all the people joining in. Everyone needs a friend on a bongo drum thing and a cool dude with dreds who can play the harmonica.

Friday was great too. At first I was thinking maybe I'd take it easy on the boozing this weekend. Yeah that lasted about as long as it took to be offered to help myself to the beer on the porch. At first we had a living room full of people that just kinda sat around. Then we started played drinking games. Then people played the guitar again! And I got free cookies! I turned in early but apparently people toughed it out to the wee hours spitting ice cubes across the living room into each other's mouths.

Yeah.

I'm not too sure about that one either but I'll bet it made sense to them at the time.

And the next morning mom and dad randomly showed up at my front door! It was great! they came bearing mail and bought me lunch and collected the pic plate they left on Turkey Day. I think the dog needs a haircut though.

Saturday was... well super awesome overall but had some funky parts that blew chunks so big you couldn't even tell they were chunks anymore. It's like when you're travelling with your friends in your freighter and the planet you're looking for turns out to have disappeared, but as luck would have it you can make it to nearby moon. Only it's not a moon. It's a space station. A fucking blonde space station. No princesses to rescue here folks, just torture and a firing squad made of a bunch of "high functioning" semi retarded (but admittedly mislead) people.

But that's okay as the night turned around quick, fast, and in a hurry. Also my buddy whiskey tagged along (thanks to a very appreciated roommate who was also nice enough to text my drunk ass about stuff I wanted to put in here). The booze got to me about 10:30 ish. In the next hour a bottle of whiskey` was mostly done. I was fucking juiced.

But I got to get involved in some of my most favourite things ever! I spent a bunch of time alternating between talking about super geeky fantasy books with Brad and taking turns putting on super awesome music with this cool chick named Lisa who came down from London to visit Ombre. And there were women everywhere! Our house was packed! Drunk Spammy loves being part of a crowd!

Fantasy books, fucking awesome music, cute girls.

Yay :)

If the night ended there it would have been awesome. But no! It didn't!

I know you're all jealous now. I'm even a little jealous of me right now and I'm me!

After a bunch of debating about cabs, the dozen or so of us headed out to the ranch. It was kinda the point of the night. Yeah it did kinda blow going from awesome music to mostly crappier music, but I did get to drunkenly bellow the 3 country songs I actually like at the top of my lungs and that's definitely a happy drunk Spammy time.

Now I don't know if you've ever gotten wasted inside of a hour and then had to move around a bit. About as smart as making Fat jokes around a Hutt. (Hells yeah! I'm on the star wars ball today!). I hit the bathroom inside of 10 minutes of getting to the bar. Have you ever heard the term "puke and rally". Yeah so I did some of that. I just had to make room for the rest of the booze I was going to have that night.

That makes sense right?

So the rest of the night was just a whole shitload of drunken fun people on the dance floor in front of the house band. I still can't dance for shit but i still went to town. I have a secret. At a country bar it is super okay to dance like a white guy as long as you're drunk and having a good time! Which is good news for me, let me tell ya. We even played some drunken pool after they turned off the music! (till security had to come over and kick us out)

Fucking wicked. I'm pretty sure that night goes down in the fucking books. And it's weird because I had originally intended on NOT going. I can't say I'm lucky as I had to have my night turn to shit before I got to have fun, but at the same time I can't emphasize enough the great time I had.

Sunday wasn't so magical though. Even though I was very hangover free (hangovers don't usually happen unless I'm mixing liquors or drinking energy drinks while boozing). I don't know. I was just a bit melancholy.

I'm kinda sick of worrying about my girly shit. It's all high school up in here. Big surprise though:

Ready for it?

No you're not

Now you might be.

I have no fucking clue as to what the hell I'm going to do.

Yeah not so much of a surprise I guess.

But it is an excuse to put on some of this:




That's me. Yes that was rap. Ish. Now go get laid everybody. I can't use my magical powers for that. That would be unethical.



P.S. This one is for Becca cause she felt left out in my last blog post. Also because she was missing for the weekend cause she had imoportant stuff to do in places that were not here. Now she knows what went down!