Monday, January 24, 2011

Zombie Cigars

I have neighbours, I'm almost sure of it! We hear thumping and footsteps all the time. That's proof right there that someone is living next door. I think. After all I'm no Gil Grissom. I actually have only seen people going into the house next door once. Some of is were sitting outside smoking cigars and being all cool and stuff like we are.

That's right. Smoking cigars makes you cool. Like Alan And Denny on Boston Legal.


Oh man, we should totally start watching that again.

Anyways. So the neighbour people walked by and towards their house. Normal seeming people too, probably students. We said hi. The stopped their conversation, looked over at us. I probably waved. In fact, I'm sure I waved. In a friendly manner too! Then they ignored us and walked into their house.

What. The. Fuzzy?

Ever heard that song, "Killing me softly" by the Fugees? Well what if someone was over here and killing us. But not softly, like loudly with chainsaws or lasers or lightsaber batarangs or zombie dinosaurs or some shit? Would they ignore us then too? Dammit if someone was over in THEIR house with lightsaber batarangs I would be over there in a second. See if I ever try to make nice with them again. If the zombie apocalypse happens they're on their fucking own.

Want to know what I hate? Something that drives me nuts? People.

That's all.

Well in this case I could stand to be more specific.

It drives me around the bend when people say they know ASL or how to sign and yet cannot talk to deaf people. They go around feeling all proud of themselves and shit, but when push comes to shove they can't actually communicate. God I hate that. Talking to a real deaf person isn't like getting instruction from a deaf professor who can speak and is used to talking with stupid wannabes all day. If the zombie apocalypse happen, they're on their own too.

You ever run into someone you used to know years back only to have them ignore you straight to your face and give you a look that could melt a baby seal? Then you remember that, Oh yeah! You hate each other! I had that happen today. It was pretty funny but it's a good thing no baby seals were around. That's person is going to get eated by the zombies too. I'll make sure of it.

All those baby seals.

There's something to be said about eliminating ambiguity. I like it. Say what you mean. After all, if you don't say what you mean then how the hell will anyone know what you're talking about. The other night at work I was told to switch till and to not give cash back. These are pretty typical instructions and I was not worried about accomplishing these tasks. Then I was told that if I did give cash back I would be killed.

You know what? I believed her. The zombies might have trouble with this one. Maybe.

I have a friend who spent last semester taking apart a cadaver. You'd think she'd be good at the anti-zombie stuff. But I don't see it. I just don't see it. Also probably cause she admitted zombies give her nightmares. Now if it were me that was the biology, kinetics, genetics studying person I would probably put all my efforts into counteracting the almost inevitable zombie apocalypse.

But that's just me.


That's me. I have zombies on the brain again. Probably better than having zombies eating my brain, am I right? See what I did there? Pretty funny right? Right? I love puns.

SpAmmy

2 comments:

  1. you guys haven't started watching BL yet?
    ¿¿WHAT have you been doing??
    -hombre

    ReplyDelete
  2. We just haven't all been in the same room long enough. Busy busy boring

    ReplyDelete