So I used the phrase "I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick" on the phone the other day, it was both a justification and a comedic throwback. Except I couldn't remember if it was Mitch Hedburg or George Carlin who said it. Then I got a message the next day: So as a heads up... googling "fuck with a borrowed dick" is not the best idea.. still not sure which comedian said it first.

I almost peed myself. I giggled like a schoolboy for like 5 minutes straight, and I'm not usually prone to giggling. It was George Carlin btw.

I read in another blog today about how a study came out this week that proves romantic movies create unrealistic expectations in women. I can just see how it went down.

"Hey George, do you think women have unrealistic expectations?"

"Yes."

"Think it has anything to do with shitty romantic comedies?"

"Yes."

"Yeah that's what we thought, lets go drink."

"Yes."

Because you can totally tell it was a bunch of guys sitting around a bar who came up with the idea for this study. Us men are pretty dumb this way... or maybe smart, cause I bet these guys got to legitimately talk to dozens of chicks about their relationship wants. I'll bet someone got some action because of this. You know what that's called?

Insider trading.

That's me. Think smarter, not harder.