I cannot sleep. So here I am. Idly wondering what 3:17am here is in Vancouver time.

Resolute is a pretty straightforward dude. All in the name I suppose. He has a goal. He goes for it. Get in his way? Bad idea. Bone poking through the skin kind of bad idea. It makes me wish I had a cause to completely dedicate myself to. Not that it would make life easier, but I think a little direction besides vague goals would be kinda nice. I do like my vague goals however.

I don't have anyone to confide in anymore. I imagine there are those who would listen if I needed to talk. There are people I spend time with but I'm not really close with anyone anymore physically or emotionally.

I do tell the girls pretty much everything. But not everything. And give me a shlushee, a willing ear and some mutual sharing and I'll pretty much spill my guts. But I won't say everything. Drunk Sammie will give out explicit details about his sex and dating life. Like the time he got that chick to squirt, or that lesbian love triangle thing. But even he keeps his mouth shut about things.

I can't say that I'm unhappy with this situation, as I tend to be way too open with people. It's really bitten me in the ass.

I find it funny that the people who should know me the best don't believe the things I've done in the last few months. And you'd think the looks of disbelief and wonder would be motivation to spill my guts, but they kinda aren't.

I've managed to keep my nose clean for the last few weeks, and that has been going very well. It's nice, it really is. But I've been very conscious of the effort it takes. I'm really bad a t just taking things as they are. So I'm just going to go ahead and do that. No more dictates for my life. I've tried it before and I can't seem to make the attitude stick, but it's time to try again.

Iron man 2 was Irontastic. Mantastic? Geektastic? Boobtastic? Mmmm boobs. And now I'm sidetracked. Just go see it. It gives one great hope that not all comic book movies will go the way of the Wolverine movie.

That's me. Boobs :)