Have you ever?

Have you ever watched a music video for the first time of a song you love? And then hate it cause the music video is the douche-king of douche-island on the douche-planet of douches? The song was better when I wasn't watching these douchecanoes sing it.

Have you ever tried to kiss a pretty girl while smiling? Hardest thing ever (that's what she said). Don't believe me? Try it.

Have you ever stubbed your toe, but not felt any pain? And then sat down to inspect the damage, watched a torrent of blood gushing from the flap of skin that used to be your toenail and THEN felt the pain kick in? It sucks.

Have you ever found an awesome shirt in your house? And then found out it belongs to a family member and he expects it cleaned and in good condition on his next visit? I hope it's within arm's reach the next time I visit taco bell.

Have you ever had a headache? And then went to get some painkillers and all you could find was that old cellphone that you thought you lost for your old service provider? Doesn't help your headache.

Have you ever gone to a friend's house after a night out at the bar? And then puked so much that your friend's dad had to get a carpet cleaner the next day? And that your friend's grandparents thing the cat is REALLY sick? I haven't. But I know somebody.

Have you ever won money on a scratch lottery ticket? And then mixed it up with one of the same type that you did not win money on? And then had the convince store guy laugh at you? Color me embarrassed.

Have you ever had a last day at a job you've had wwwaaaayyyy too long? And then spent the first hour of your last day apologizing to customers because nothing in the fucking store works? I danced my way out the front door when I punched out.

Have you ever had a long series of awkward moments with a girl you kinda like after you drunkenly make out with her at the bar? And then have her shoot your dumb ass down when you ask her out? Dating sucks.

Have you ever done laundry and found money in the pockets of your pants? Only to find out that you missed the bank information you were supposed to fax into your new job that was in your OTHER pants? It's frustrating. Punch a baby bunny rabbit frustrating.

Have you ever had a friend with a blog who inexplicably stop posting in it for a while and just as inexplicably starts up again?

That's me.

SpAmmy

The last 6 days

I haven't been around for a while. This is why.

In the last 6 days I have:

-worked 42 hours (including a lot of days where I was at both jobs)

-had an awesome drunk night out with a bunch of rowdy ice cream scoopers, went to work the next morning still a bit drunk

-went to Niagara Falls to pick up my brother and have an awesome boys night out

-went to the best restaurant in the entire world, all meat and all on a stick cooked with fire, best steak and lamb I've ever had and the coolest beer glasses I've ever seen

-had Jay come visit for a few days

-sat on the porch with beer and played chess, managed to lock myself out of the house

-broke stuff while getting back into said locked house

-went book shopping with Jay, got to be giant super geeks and make a few cashiers a little uncomfortable

-went and saw 2 movies at the theatre in one night, X-men first class kicked so much ass (McAvoy and Fassbender were so awesome), Hangover 2 was just kinda meh

-got collector cups for X-men Origins

-ate 4 different kinds of hamburger and 5 different kinds of beer

-had my parents visit

-went clothes shopping for the first time in more than a year

-played with a dog

-managed to hit myself in the testicles while trying to punch my brother (not terribly proud of that bit), not happy but it was still a hilarious moment....after I was done writhing in pain

-biked for approximately 4 hours

-cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom

-did laundry

-wrote an angry email

-read about 200 pages of the White Luck Warrior, Akka is still pretty fucking wicked

-rode on a the biggest Ferris wheel I will probably ever ride on, might have seen a chick giving her boyfriend a blowjob on the gondola ahead of us (we're mostly sure)

-had Kate and her mom the landlady visit and show the house, made me miss my housemates

-discovered what the "kidnap list" was, thought about starting my own

Want to know what I did the week before? I watched 2 season of Supernatural online and worked. That was all.

That's me. I don't even have to ask, I know you're all jealous. By golly you should be. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, and that's the way it always should be.

I don't know but that's okay

The other day I got a surprise visit from Meg (I know like 6 girls named Meg, but she knows who she is) and she said something that made me incredibly homesick, but it was still an awesome moment.

I get a visit from the all-round-not-as-awesome-but-still-pretty-cool-even-if-he-can't-hold-his-liquor-and-tells-embarrassing-stories-about-me half of the lamest people who think they're funnier than they really are this side of real life! We really do think we're actually funny sometimes, which only really affects the people around us being confused a lot. Even if the douchecanoe (new favorite word!) called me at 1am, he is still allowed one of the empty rooms in the house... as long as he brings books. And my goddamn chess set.

Cause that's probably what we're going to spend a lot of our time doing. Playing chess on the front porch with booze and bitching about our lives, talking about geeky brother stuff and complaining about women. I can't fucking wait.

Actually, mentioning dating, last night someone asked me if I was happy being single. Which is a slightly complicated question. I rattled off some smart-ass remark (no surprises there) and kept washing dishes, but the question has been kinda bouncing around in my skull since then. Actually the first thing I thought of was something Jay posted on his wall a few days ago. Kinda makes the single life look good.

Sounds pretty sweet eh? But I've been single for a while now and maybe I'd like something slightly more serious going on, I'm not actually sure at the moment as I keep changing my mind which probably isn't helping. I confused the shit out a girl just this week actually. Now when I say "single" I don't mean "alone" I just mean not in a "relationship". "Quotation marks". I'm not a sexless hermit hiding out in a basement playing WoW and watching Starcraft 2 commentaries on my days off (okay sometimes the starcraft2 but damn that day9 is an amusing fellow).

It probably doesn't help that I'm a horny 20 something combined with a romantic idealistic fool.

Let's fuck!

But I have this poem...

After?

Yeah I'm cool with that.

I don't really know want I want at the moment and I'm alright with that, as that's nothing new. Actually I've kinda been stuck in a transitory period (read:broke-ish) for a while now. I'm just plugging away at life getting the most I can out of what I've got. And if that includes a girl, then so be it. If it doesn't, well I guess that's fine too. I'm not too worried about dying alone at 25 (soon 26!).

Of course if I become a confirmed bachelor I should probably start playing video games again. I haven't turned on my Xbox in 2 weeks.

That's me. I have the day off, so I'm going to sit on the front porch with a cigar, a beer and a book. Jealous? It's okay. You should be.

SpAmmy

Notes

I tend to take a bunch of random notes, usually when I'm bored at work, about stuff I want to write about. It can be just about anything, usually point form, and I always have the intention of writing a little blurb when I get home so I don't forget the reason/context for whatever it was that I wanted to remember.

Unfortunately this doesn't always happen.

Sometimes I just don't feel like blogging, and don't even get me started on my "real" writing career at the moment. Well today while I was doing a little cleaning (GASP! SHOCK! AWE! Yes I am a dude who picks up after himself...ish) I found a stash of notes I've made. No idea what they're all about, but I figure you people might like the insight to the mind of a genius.


So you believe her? - most likely something to do about one of the stupid decisions I've made about the opposite sex

Yeah I think she's hot too. - same deal

I'd kill - slightly worried at the kind of day I would have been having

Misinterpretation - waaayyy too broad to narrow down

The accent overpowers the acquaintance - I think I was trying to complain about the lady with the British accent who tried to sell me homeowners insurance after I told her I don't own a home. Very poetic that day apparently.

Configure the pun- I love puns!

Morals blow - I think I was drunk for this one, there is little drawing of a beer beside it.

Must you compare - I think I might have been working in produce, you know apples and oranges...

Sore sack - this was either the day after I bought the bicycle, or when I visited mum and dad's and Jay took a serious shot at my nuts. Both days were slightly unpleasant.

A quest! - again, so much it could apply to. Edgefest maybe? I do try to go on quests on a regular basis.

Gigglefucker - I bet someone was giggling and I thought that person was a fucker

Purchase the moon - I think this was the first really nice night we had, I vaguely remember the moon being full.

The plans are complete! - I'm not sure, unless it refers to a "diabolical" plan, but I haven't come up with any of those since last summer.

Puzzling Pizza - this one might have been when Becca and Kate ordered vegetarian pizza and I liked it even though there were no dead animals on it

Snarflefit - obviously a discussion on the world economic climate, also a little doodle of what I believe might actually be a Snarflefit...or Godzilla maybe?

Even I don't know what goes though my head sometimes.

Here is an example of how you turn crappy music into awesome.



That's me. I can't sleep, so here we are. Aren't you lucky.

SpAmmy

PSA

Public Service Announcements:

One Ring-itis

Contact: Gollum/Smeagol

Organization's name: Prreeeeecccciiiooouussssss.

Telephone Number: 1-800-RAW-FISH

Maybe you haven't thought about this before. Bearing the corrupted One Ring of Power results in a profound burden of illness causing suffering, disability, hospitalization and suicide. The World Health Organization affirmed that carrying the One Ring is one of the largest contributors to throwing yourself into a volcano worldwide.

The Prreeeeecccciiiooouussssss organization (with the help of Story Of My Life) is marking One Ring-itis with a commemorative Poster with our spokesperson that helps detail the obsession and issues that can come about after carrying the One Ring for hundreds of years.

Make a difference in your community. Show people with One Ring-itis that we care!

Just a bit of fun because I'm procrastinating. Fuck dishes! Also, my socks were almost completely unnecessary today.

That's me. Finally happy with the new layout!

SpAmmy

Not home alone!

So.

This weekend?

Yeah pretty great.

And it was a heckuva lot more work than I thought it'd be, especially considering all I had to do was be at home and be awake at the same time. Ahhhh yes, the age-old curse of having to work. But the whole coming home from work and having people around, well that was just dandy.

Nothing too crazy, just a beer funnel (missing Brad for that one) and a rather large group of people sitting in a huge pile on the front lawn singing along to whoever was playing the guitar at the time. There was a slight bit of tension with the neighbour people just sitting across the street and watching us for a couple hours, despite numerous attempts to invite them over. Weird, that.

Also, apparently there was something going on about a baby bunny rabbit?


Good times had by all, especially me.

That's me. Damn, but I try too hard some days. Color me embarrassed.

SpAmmy

Saturday makes it better

So yes, I fucked around with my blog again. It's pretty much all I did during the day yesterday, cause, fuck it, it's not like I have a deadline to meet next week that I haven't got started on yet or anything.

I shall probably mess around with it some more later because sleep is for the weak. Or the sleepy.

Last night turned out a lot better than I thought it was going to. I was minding my own business participating in pant-less Tuesday (yes it was Friday and no, I'm not going to explain it again) and I hear someone at the door. At first I was thinking that these goddamn zombies had finally learned how to open doors and that I'd have to use all my hidden superpowers to cleanse the undead from my presence, but it just turned out to be Becca.

Almost as bad. (Just kidding Birdie....or am I?)

It was a pretty great surprise as I wasn't expecting anyone until tomorrow. So we kinda just sat around, shooting the shit and catching up for a bit. Then I was kinda complaining about being here by myself (again) and how there are no more random movie nights, or nobody wants to go walk up to Squirrely's to play some pool and have a beer in the middle of the week. I said I hadn't even gone to see Thor yet, so she said we should go see it.

And everything changed..... we had 25 minutes to get across town to make it for the movie, and our cab driver didn't not disappoint, going 30 over the limit the whole way. There was a stressful moment due to a stupid debit machine, but just as I walked into the theatre the previews started. Becca popped in earlier while I was at the concession stand and I missed an arm raised cheer. We did have a pretty great high-five though.

And the movie, well worth the 10 bucks. That is, if you're into seeing a dude hit a bunch of stuff with a big-ass hammer. And Natalie Portman, shit she's in everything.


So today I had a staff meeting at Marble Madness, and it was actually pretty great. An oxymoron you say? Well I say that you sir/madam are the moron. It actually came out pretty loud and clear that our boss actually gives a shit, and that makes a huge fucking difference. Yeah it may be just an ice cream joint, but it's going to be the best fucking ice-cream joint he can make it. I was impressed, he doesn't look like he's going half-assed . The last time I worked in place where the boss went all out was when I was working for a lawyer in Peterborough. I kinda think this is how my twin would be if he ever gets in a position of authority. Or pets.

Now as for the rest of my day we have a party planned for tonight. "But Sam, don't you have an 11 hour+ workday tomorrow?" you might say. Well hah, I laugh in the face of your "work day". Mostly cause I'm going to take what had better be an epic nap so I can be up all night, and I have a few hours in between shifts tomorrow so there's great nap potential there as well. I have it all worked out to not waste the opportunity that having my friends come into town presents due to a morning shift babysitting a cash register.

Kate and Megan have already showed up and hopefully I convinced some co-workers to come out. It should be a great time. Parties at our place usually are.

Had a Seether song stuck in my head the last few days. This one.



That's me. I am going to lose all my fucking chess games dammit.

SpAmmy