Just call me Pops

So in a weird turn of either coincidence or because of the bandannas I started wearing at work to keep the sweat from pouring down my face all day I have been asked by pretty much everybody I work with if I'm married or have kids. For the record I have neither.

And seriously, this guy? With kids and a wife?

If you look hard you can see the camera. If you look harder you can see my friends asking me if I'm worried about picking up herpes from the bus shelter.

Quack! This pose really shows off the creepy hair necklace I finally got rid of just recently. I need to clean my bulletin board more often.

Apparently it's tradition to steal cutlery from somebody on their birthday. Not that that was going to stop me. I like cake.

 Although according to my junk mail folder there are tons of singles in my area waiting to hook-up, and hot sexy Russian babes who want a Canadian husband. I'm not quite convinced.

However I apparently look like a family man. Was that a fat joke? Also I should apparently have a house and a mortgage and a car and pets cause that's what people with full time jobs have. I also go out on the weekends but dancing in a club is also apparently weird for people my age. I didn't think 26 was too old to get smashed with your friends and scream your heart out to songs you can't even recognize when you're sober.

Well fuck that shit. I look how I look and I have no wife or kids, I don't have a mortgage or a car and I like to get trashed with my friends at bars and check out hot girls who are out my league as well as walk up to band members who just killed a live set and try to buy them a drink. I'm pretty damn okay with that.

I try to live life how it makes sense for me, and you know what? I'm still a mature responsible adult most of the time. I'm excited about buying furniture for the apartment I'm planning on having in the fall. There's a lady at the bank who I talk to about investments and taxes and fiscal planning and other made-up words.

Although let's be honest here, there were plans for a Star Wars nook. Now the idea has been expanded since I saw some cool lord of the rings mugs and awesome Wolverine book ends. Currently I'm trying to "fiscally plan" that shit to match the living room set I have my eye on at Leon's.

As for the wife/relationship bit, well if it happens then it happens. A few weeks ago I saw this awesome list of cool ideas for a date. I'm actually doing the Plenty of Fish thing again in an attempt to actually try some of them.

And kids? Well I'd have to expand the nook. But they can't play with the toys. The toys are mine.

That's me. Sorry ladies, if you want to know the date ideas you have to ask me out. Fresh underpants, a first aid kit and the ability to have an open mind while creating what might be an great Batman story later on are also good ideas.

Spammy

My head feels fuzzy.

I am a victim of marketing: I really did think the new laundry detergent would make my clothes smell like a mountain spring. Now I think my clothes smell like what I imagine gonorrhea smells like..

I accidentally hit myself in the balls while putting on my boxers this morning.

I saw a robot in a toga today. I might have called it a lesbian. Did I misread that?

I can't change my ringtone, the world is now a better place.

I hate toilets. They scare the shit out of me.

I heard the term "more exciting than a bag of vibrators" today. Is this a thing now?

I never gave up on magic. Poof! I'm a geek.

I'm not sure if I have any idea as to what a reasonable number of babies is.

I'm old enough to know better, but optimistic enough to think I can still pull it off.  Suddenly, meatloaf.

I heard that they found Atlantis in a Spanish swamp. I'm not sure what to do with that information, but bless them they found it.

I want salt and pepper shakers in the form of things you usually don't put salt and pepper on. Like dignity. Or self-respect.

 I found a whole bunch of cool date ideas online. Now I need a date. And a camera. Sounds a bit creepy when I say it like that.

I swear to god this won't end up on the internet

That's me. So I haven't seen my roommate Kate in just about a week. Today she walked upstairs and told me that all the bottles of shampoo and girly stuff are gone from her shower. And she can't very well wash her hair with conditioner can she? Haha Kate lost everybody's shampoo!


Sam

I'm on a boat!

Despite living virtually my whole life in a city that is so landlocked that people from other cities that are landlocked say "Damn! Your city is landlocked", I like being out on the water.

Being "in" the water is a different story.

But I know lots of water-related stuff, like how to scream when you're on a tube behind a boat with a lady behind the wheel who is not all that okay with you dating her daughter. Or how it's okay if you pee, cause hey, who's going to notice? Unless of course you told someone you had to pee. And then they tickled you too much and then asked how you were holding up and you said "I'm all good now, just don't go near *that* area of the water." Same day I learned about how pee is funny colors is some kinds of pools. That's science.

But I also know that you call really big boats "ships".

Other kinds of ships that are not always water related, but it's fun to think that they are.

relationships - "insert something witty here" (ha-ha that's what she said)

friendships - Yay!

workmanship - The workmanship on this ship is of high quality.

penmanship - Pen15

marksmanship -  I don't know anyone named Mark.

gunship - Pew pew!

dealership - Misleading since most dealerships deal in cars. Unless the dealership deals in actual ships. (note: upon discussion with available roommates, we decided you could call a place that sells boats a boat dealership)

And then, of course, spaceships. The best kind of ships. Also cool? Space stations.

That's no moon...

Want to know what I like on space ships? Lights.

Want to know where there are lights? Toronto.

What else is in Toronto? Rise Against and A Day To Remember.

When? In May. And I have tickets (note:not really but they are coming in the mail)

At the moment, it's pretty much what I'm living life for.

That's me. I want a spaceship. And a Chewbacca.

Sam

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone, we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.

I am nothing like a marine

Today I was pretty damn frustrated.

So of course I decided I was going to go home and re-evaluate my life and listen to music that sounds better when it's played loud, cause it's good to do that every once in a while.

But then when I actually get home I end up looking at a powerpoint presentation of wedding plans, watch part of a show where a guy goes to an OB-GYN and gets pills for a bruised spine that are normally for mentrual cramps and discuss how, Yes, I like 500 days of Summer. That's what happens when you live with chicks. Doesn't matter though since we can compromise on all this.

I'm not going to tell her I'm disappointed about the lack of chocolate chips.

However it's all kinds of awesome to come home and sit on the couch, get  harassed my housemates, watch a new sitcom, and dicuss our love lives.

This feeling of anticipation hasn't gone away yet. It's weird. It's like when you're a kid and you get to go to wonderland the next day for your birthday (...or when you turn 26). But it's lasted like 3 weeks!  So what the hell do I do?

Oh and my language has slipped into the gutter again. It's like High School bad with all the swearing and such now. The bad part about working in a place where you have to have ear-plus all day is that it's super easy to swear pretty loudly and nobody can tell what you're saying...ish. It's slightly difficult to misinterpret the word "fuck".

We had an indoor barbeque last night. It was too cold for an outdoor one. We made a whole bunch of hotdogs and bugers and stuff and then moved some of the living room furniture and spread a blanket on the floor and sat and yelled at each other. It was awesome.

I emailed a whole bunch of people last week because I'm usually pretty bad for keeping in contact with those I don't see on a regular basis, and now I think a portion of every Sunday is going to be dedicated to doing that from now on. It's been awesome to hear back from everybody. So that journey shall definitely continue.

Thought of the day: Remember, they give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.

That's me. Definitely would use laser metal eye beams to make cookies.

 Sam

 

Do it!

You ever try to apologize for something stupid that happened that wasn't your fault but you feel like you should explain yourself and apologize anyway? Damn but I tried and it didn't happen. Which is kinda weird cause I'm usually pretty good at embarrassing myself...but could not bring myself to do it.

Lately I feel like I'm waiting for something. But not anything specific I just have this weird feeling of anticipation.

I hurt my foot at work this week. As everyone knows ERs are not fun. I'm pretty frustrated with it. It turns out that I'm going to be dealing with chronic foot pain. I have a standing prescription for anti-inflammation medicine and have to whole list of things to keep on top of. It's definitely manageable. But it blows as just as I'm starting to get comfortable with the new job I have this bullshit to deal with.

Applesnarfritz.

Advice from the master.

I'm pretty terrible at keeping in contact with people. Just in general. I think it's something I'd like to work on. Hell, maybe I'll even start tonight.

That's me. Being able to light your hand on fire and bitchslap some douchefucker would be awesome. Flaming bitchslap.Nice.


Sam

Sense?

Apparently I was all Bossface Mcintimidating today. It still fucking baffles me that people can find my dumb ass scary. The only time it's justified is when my brothers are dating girls who haven't met me before. Then it's fucking fun.

If the movements of my soul are reflected in those around me, can I ever be truly alone? What pretentious tripe. Oh, but Sam, you say, that's all deep and intense. Nope. You wanna see something deep and intense I'll go kick an idiot into the grand canyon screaming the menu from Taco Bell. Lawyer'd.

I hear voices. I had hoped it was some roommates stating on the front deck, just hanging out (funny, I fully expected it even though we're rounding 2:30am) but nobody is out there. I'd like to investigate but R.Kelly might make me pee in his mouth.

hahahahahah that's what she said

I wish I could tell everybody about some crazy story involving some weird ass dating antics, but I'm all out of those. Yes really. And when people ask I get a whole of "Yeah but there's always some crazy you're not telling us about". Not this time. It's probably not good that this is a thing I'm known for. I remember when nobody believed me about the restraining order. Now it's more like "just one?" I guess trying Plenty of Fish again is out of the question.

I know the truth is more complicated, but "trees sneezing" is an awesome way to answer "What is wind?".

I have this awful tendency to get lost in my own head all the damn time. It's no wonder why I play video games and read 1000 page books. Sometimes I'd rather lose myself into something that is not me over thinking the hell out of something. Also I'd go stark raving nuts without music to listen to on the bus on walking alone.

That's me. You know that noise you make? The one where you shut the fuck up? You should do that more often.

 Sam

We do the best we can with what we are given.

I agree, doing what we can with what we have is an awesome idea. But I also definitely think that it's that drive to make things better that really defines a person.

We kind of get stuck in how the way things are now, instead of how we'd like it to be. So fight for how you'd like to be instead of how you are right now. It just kinda makes sense to me... of course it took me a long fucking time to figure that out.

I used to be the king of backing off and running away when shit got hard, and of course, that solved absolutely nothing. Used to be. Things are a bit different now... slightly. Not as different as I'd like it to be, but I'm working on it. Even with the "not backing down and fighting for what I want" thing stuff doesn't always work out for me. But fuck it feels so much better actually taking a shot then just running away. At least I can say I fought.

I just that I notice that people get stuck in their own comfort zones, keep doing the same things or the same type of things over and over,  and don't really change or challenge themselves. I know, because that it used to be me. Hell sometimes it's still me.

But I like to break out of my comfort zone from time to time and challenge myself. Doesn't always work, but the results are there. Notice the whole I'm not just some geek who spends all my time in a basement playing video games and getting into LOTR fights online now. (not that that's a bad thing, it's just not who I want to be all the time... anymore).

Just a few months ago I accepted this promotion at work. It was a big deal for me, I always wondered if I could make a difference somewhere if I actually got a shot at it. Well here was my shot served up to me on a silver platter. No matter how much I was actually starting to like where I was, or the awesome way I could just go to work, get my shit done and go home, I had to take the shot. And I nailed it.

But the last 6 weeks have been... difficult. All the training, the meetings, the politics, the attempts at communication and co-ordination has been a mess. A real uphill struggle. And tomorrow is when I actually start (as far as I know).

As hard as it's been, it's going to get worse.

But I can take it. I have to. All I've ever wanted to actually have a shot and there's no fucking way I'm wasting this opportunity. It's not ever going to be easy, if it was it wouldn't be worth busting my ass fighting for it. Successful or not, there's no way I'm going to walk away saying "I wish I had tried harder". Win or Lose, I'm going to put my head down and do my best.

The best I can with what I was given.

With what I fought to get.

That's me. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go use my moogle to skull-fuck an immortal guardian trying to end time. Just because things are rough, doesn't mean you can't do things that make you happy.

Sam