The maternal figure that belongs to you.

Funny story. You know those people who have office jobs in a cubicle doing data entry or boring accounting work? Those people that nobody want to be like because work and somehow lives are uninteresting? I always wanted to be one of them.

I liked the idea of having steady hours, a steady paycheck (which I actually have now anyways) a car, a house and a nice vacation every year. Talking about it here still really appeals to me.

Is it weird that I have an odd desire for mediocrity?

Well your mom doesn't think so. She said so when she rolled over to turn the alarm off this morning.

Work hasn't so bad, but I can't wait until I get my own uniforms. It's a pain to keep scrounging every single day.

Plus sometimes the pants find are too small and I cant get my fly zipper up all the way. It's incrediably distracting because I walk around all day smelling your Mom's toothpaste.

Now Oral-B for sensitive teeth makes me really horny. Can't have that at work now can we? Unless of course I went and visited your Mom at work. The pimp and I get along really well.

Gowrsh I feel unproductive today.

That's me.

SpAmmy

I declare today wierd.

I have recently realized that I don't have a good way to blow off steam anymore. Life got slightly frustrating this week and I didn't do anything specific to make myself feel better. But witty banter and smart ass housemates help, as well as turning the lights off and plugging in to awesome music.

I wonder if I need to start playing video games again? I've tried really hard but I have no real desire to play the Xbox anymore. It's amazing how a full-time job, chores and a social life really fill up a week. It's probably weird and sad that it's taken me so long to realize this.

I have attempted to start storyboarding,worldbuilding and researching again, but the usual slow going process is down to a crawl. I think I might just focus on blogging again, and just wait and see how things go in other arenas.

So today I got the day off work because working in an oven room is hot, but today it would have been "Oh god, oh god we're all going to die!" hot. But a funny thing happened while I was sitting in the living room trying not to become a puddle. Around the time I usually go to work I got really really anxious and restless. It was only after I had decided to go to the drug store to pick up some gatorade that I realized it was probably the fact that I hadn't got on the bike. I felt 10 times better after I got home. Weird. I ride that bike everyday, but didn't realize it was having that kind of an effect on me. I've been thinking about leaving for work a bit early so I can ride around even longer.

Have you ever heard to this place called Panda Express? For some reason I hadn't before today. Naturally this is what came to mind.

Pretty reasonable idea right? Turns out I was wrong. Not like that's never happened before.

Don't tell my housemates this (of course saying this means they will all be reading this now) but Aubz and Cow put on "She's the man" a few nights ago. I laughed. In doing so I think I died a little inside, I don't know why, but I guess I find that movie slightly amusing. Tampon to stop a nosebleed....slightly more awesome than it should be. I used to hate this movie, but the crowning moment was when I said "What, you've never done that before" in casual conversation earlier.

And don't even get me started on 500 days of summer.

I'm going to go watch the Underworld movies now. At least I understand why I like those movies.

So things are just plain weird lately.

That's me. I think I kinda like it like that.

SpAmmy

Quarter-life crisis?

Apparantly I've been suffering from a quarter-life crisis for the last 4 years or so. Which I'm told I'm still going through.

I'm finding this hard to believe as

1) This assumes I have any sort of human life.(you may or may not know that I have superpowers and therefore cannot be completely human)

2) Crisis implies a negative, but if this summer continues the way it has been going already then I'm going to have to stop saying "we never get to do what I want to do".

3) Unless you're assuming I'll beat the trend, shouldn't a quarter life crisis technically happen at age 20?

4) If Santa isn't real then how the hell do I keep finding cool shit under my bed?

5) My slightly awkward love of redheads is starting to diminish

6) I forgot what I was making a list about again.

7) This sort of thing happens a lot when I'm attempting to discover new music and write at the same time.

8) Boobs, dragons and lightsabers, just cause these things are awesome.


I keep coming up with great blog ideas, but then I never blog cause I'm slightly busy working and having fun all the time. Except today. Today I am nursing a godawful hangover and so you get the pleasure of my company. I spent the night doing the white guy shuffle with fine bunch of fellows that came in from out of town. We barbequed the shit out the place, and started drinking wwwaaayyy too early.

Today everyone else is going swimming at a shitty nearby man-made lake... and I am wish I could be there with a book making rude comments about people nearby while secretly checking out women.

(by secretly I mean awkwardly and obviously, cause I'm subtle like that)

I'm also pleasantly surprised at how uneventful the day is going (minus the headache and throwing up) since I drunk facebooked for like an hour last night, not to mention the game of "never have I ever" that I hope everybody forgot about. That game is pure fucking evil. But still fun.

Good times, good music, good people, good drinks.

That's me. Quarter-life crisis my ass.

SpAmmy

You can enslave me, I'm ready

So I've always known there were going to robots at my new job. I was warned beforehand. They even have affectionate names given to them by the staff. Hilarious right? I mean I expected big, loud, testicle-cripplingly dangerous machines, robots aren't that different.

WRONG!

So my first day I almost walked right into one of them. It looks like a giant remote controlled forklift... which is pretty much exactly what it is (awesome powers of perception over here).

WITHOUT THE REMOTE CONTROL!!!

(I think)

I walked by a fenced off area with a sign similar to this.

Makes sense right? Reasonable? Sure! Except I thought I saw...
On my way to break room I accidentally stepped into the path of the giant yellow forklift looking motherfucker of doom. AND IT DIDN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. I swear to god I heard it laugh and flash that creepy green light like it was winking at me or something. I swear this thing is one emotion chip away from killing us all.

But, (thinking critically, mind you) being enslaved by robots might not be that bad. I mean, what are they going to need us for, manual labour? I think not.

Seriously, I surround myself with sarcastic women on a regular basis, and I'm sure having robots rule my life won't be as bad as 2 or 3 of them staring in on me in the not-good-slightly-self-esteem-crippling kind of way, and not the I'll-get-the-handcuffs-and-KY-kind-of-way.

So bring it on robot overlords, take over the world! I'm as ready as women can make me.

That's me. I am under no illusions about why I don't have a girlfriend.

SpAmmy

HAPPY DAY AFTER CANADA DAY.

So we have a new housemate. He's an exchange student from France. We taught him multiculturalism by getting completely shitfaced on Canadian beer at an Irish bar last night. However I missed out on getting him from the airport due to work, and apparently I missed out. Too bad because I've always wanted to be one of those lame-o people holding a sign up for someone they haven't really met at the arrival gate.

Also, we had another prospective roommate come through the house the other day and he seemed pretty cool. He got real excited about the chess set and the giant painting of James Spader (from Boston Legal) in the living room and that's definitely a plus.

So far not nearly as alone this summer as I had complained about previously, which is all kinds of awesome.

It's been a big week for me actually. I've quit 2 jobs and pretty much stopped the third one. All traded in for a reasonably paying full-time job. This is 2nd time in my entire life that I won't be making minimum wage. I like that. Plus, the full-time thing kicks ass too. I'm very much looking forward to starting on Monday.

However I am going to miss all my Metro people, but I've been there way too fucking long. I'm also going to is all the sarcastic young ladies at the slab, as they made working there a great experience. Working with people who have a sense of humor makes a huge difference. But time to grow up and have a "real" job. If only I could make a living fielding sarcastic comments from pretty girls I'd be set.

But you can't have everything.



Metal band doing a love song. I'm a sucker for such things.

That's me. When Han Solo returns to the Death Star in the Millennium Falcon, and shoots down the TIE fighters and saves the rebel cause, do you think he does so for a free beer?

SpAmmy

Have you ever?

Have you ever watched a music video for the first time of a song you love? And then hate it cause the music video is the douche-king of douche-island on the douche-planet of douches? The song was better when I wasn't watching these douchecanoes sing it.

Have you ever tried to kiss a pretty girl while smiling? Hardest thing ever (that's what she said). Don't believe me? Try it.

Have you ever stubbed your toe, but not felt any pain? And then sat down to inspect the damage, watched a torrent of blood gushing from the flap of skin that used to be your toenail and THEN felt the pain kick in? It sucks.

Have you ever found an awesome shirt in your house? And then found out it belongs to a family member and he expects it cleaned and in good condition on his next visit? I hope it's within arm's reach the next time I visit taco bell.

Have you ever had a headache? And then went to get some painkillers and all you could find was that old cellphone that you thought you lost for your old service provider? Doesn't help your headache.

Have you ever gone to a friend's house after a night out at the bar? And then puked so much that your friend's dad had to get a carpet cleaner the next day? And that your friend's grandparents thing the cat is REALLY sick? I haven't. But I know somebody.

Have you ever won money on a scratch lottery ticket? And then mixed it up with one of the same type that you did not win money on? And then had the convince store guy laugh at you? Color me embarrassed.

Have you ever had a last day at a job you've had wwwaaaayyyy too long? And then spent the first hour of your last day apologizing to customers because nothing in the fucking store works? I danced my way out the front door when I punched out.

Have you ever had a long series of awkward moments with a girl you kinda like after you drunkenly make out with her at the bar? And then have her shoot your dumb ass down when you ask her out? Dating sucks.

Have you ever done laundry and found money in the pockets of your pants? Only to find out that you missed the bank information you were supposed to fax into your new job that was in your OTHER pants? It's frustrating. Punch a baby bunny rabbit frustrating.

Have you ever had a friend with a blog who inexplicably stop posting in it for a while and just as inexplicably starts up again?

That's me.

SpAmmy

The last 6 days

I haven't been around for a while. This is why.

In the last 6 days I have:

-worked 42 hours (including a lot of days where I was at both jobs)

-had an awesome drunk night out with a bunch of rowdy ice cream scoopers, went to work the next morning still a bit drunk

-went to Niagara Falls to pick up my brother and have an awesome boys night out

-went to the best restaurant in the entire world, all meat and all on a stick cooked with fire, best steak and lamb I've ever had and the coolest beer glasses I've ever seen

-had Jay come visit for a few days

-sat on the porch with beer and played chess, managed to lock myself out of the house

-broke stuff while getting back into said locked house

-went book shopping with Jay, got to be giant super geeks and make a few cashiers a little uncomfortable

-went and saw 2 movies at the theatre in one night, X-men first class kicked so much ass (McAvoy and Fassbender were so awesome), Hangover 2 was just kinda meh

-got collector cups for X-men Origins

-ate 4 different kinds of hamburger and 5 different kinds of beer

-had my parents visit

-went clothes shopping for the first time in more than a year

-played with a dog

-managed to hit myself in the testicles while trying to punch my brother (not terribly proud of that bit), not happy but it was still a hilarious moment....after I was done writhing in pain

-biked for approximately 4 hours

-cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom

-did laundry

-wrote an angry email

-read about 200 pages of the White Luck Warrior, Akka is still pretty fucking wicked

-rode on a the biggest Ferris wheel I will probably ever ride on, might have seen a chick giving her boyfriend a blowjob on the gondola ahead of us (we're mostly sure)

-had Kate and her mom the landlady visit and show the house, made me miss my housemates

-discovered what the "kidnap list" was, thought about starting my own

Want to know what I did the week before? I watched 2 season of Supernatural online and worked. That was all.

That's me. I don't even have to ask, I know you're all jealous. By golly you should be. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, and that's the way it always should be.