We do the best we can with what we are given.

I agree, doing what we can with what we have is an awesome idea. But I also definitely think that it's that drive to make things better that really defines a person.

We kind of get stuck in how the way things are now, instead of how we'd like it to be. So fight for how you'd like to be instead of how you are right now. It just kinda makes sense to me... of course it took me a long fucking time to figure that out.

I used to be the king of backing off and running away when shit got hard, and of course, that solved absolutely nothing. Used to be. Things are a bit different now... slightly. Not as different as I'd like it to be, but I'm working on it. Even with the "not backing down and fighting for what I want" thing stuff doesn't always work out for me. But fuck it feels so much better actually taking a shot then just running away. At least I can say I fought.

I just that I notice that people get stuck in their own comfort zones, keep doing the same things or the same type of things over and over,  and don't really change or challenge themselves. I know, because that it used to be me. Hell sometimes it's still me.

But I like to break out of my comfort zone from time to time and challenge myself. Doesn't always work, but the results are there. Notice the whole I'm not just some geek who spends all my time in a basement playing video games and getting into LOTR fights online now. (not that that's a bad thing, it's just not who I want to be all the time... anymore).

Just a few months ago I accepted this promotion at work. It was a big deal for me, I always wondered if I could make a difference somewhere if I actually got a shot at it. Well here was my shot served up to me on a silver platter. No matter how much I was actually starting to like where I was, or the awesome way I could just go to work, get my shit done and go home, I had to take the shot. And I nailed it.

But the last 6 weeks have been... difficult. All the training, the meetings, the politics, the attempts at communication and co-ordination has been a mess. A real uphill struggle. And tomorrow is when I actually start (as far as I know).

As hard as it's been, it's going to get worse.

But I can take it. I have to. All I've ever wanted to actually have a shot and there's no fucking way I'm wasting this opportunity. It's not ever going to be easy, if it was it wouldn't be worth busting my ass fighting for it. Successful or not, there's no way I'm going to walk away saying "I wish I had tried harder". Win or Lose, I'm going to put my head down and do my best.

The best I can with what I was given.

With what I fought to get.

That's me. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go use my moogle to skull-fuck an immortal guardian trying to end time. Just because things are rough, doesn't mean you can't do things that make you happy.

Sam