Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Have you ever?


Have you ever watched a music video for the first time of a song you love? And then hate it cause the music video is the douche-king of douche-island on the douche-planet of douches? The song was better when I wasn't watching these douchecanoes sing it.

Have you ever tried to kiss a pretty girl while smiling? Hardest thing ever (that's what she said). Don't believe me? Try it.

Have you ever stubbed your toe, but not felt any pain? And then sat down to inspect the damage, watched a torrent of blood gushing from the flap of skin that used to be your toenail and THEN felt the pain kick in? It sucks.

Have you ever found an awesome shirt in your house? And then found out it belongs to a family member and he expects it cleaned and in good condition on his next visit? I hope it's within arm's reach the next time I visit taco bell.

Have you ever had a headache? And then went to get some painkillers and all you could find was that old cellphone that you thought you lost for your old service provider? Doesn't help your headache.

Have you ever gone to a friend's house after a night out at the bar? And then puked so much that your friend's dad had to get a carpet cleaner the next day? And that your friend's grandparents thing the cat is REALLY sick? I haven't. But I know somebody.

Have you ever won money on a scratch lottery ticket? And then mixed it up with one of the same type that you did not win money on? And then had the convince store guy laugh at you? Color me embarrassed.

Have you ever had a last day at a job you've had wwwaaaayyyy too long? And then spent the first hour of your last day apologizing to customers because nothing in the fucking store works? I danced my way out the front door when I punched out.

Have you ever had a long series of awkward moments with a girl you kinda like after you drunkenly make out with her at the bar? And then have her shoot your dumb ass down when you ask her out? Dating sucks.

Have you ever done laundry and found money in the pockets of your pants? Only to find out that you missed the bank information you were supposed to fax into your new job that was in your OTHER pants? It's frustrating. Punch a baby bunny rabbit frustrating.

Have you ever had a friend with a blog who inexplicably stop posting in it for a while and just as inexplicably starts up again?

That's me.

SpAmmy

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The last 6 days

I haven't been around for a while. This is why.

In the last 6 days I have:

-worked 42 hours (including a lot of days where I was at both jobs)

-had an awesome drunk night out with a bunch of rowdy ice cream scoopers, went to work the next morning still a bit drunk

-went to Niagara Falls to pick up my brother and have an awesome boys night out

-went to the best restaurant in the entire world, all meat and all on a stick cooked with fire, best steak and lamb I've ever had and the coolest beer glasses I've ever seen

-had Jay come visit for a few days

-sat on the porch with beer and played chess, managed to lock myself out of the house

-broke stuff while getting back into said locked house

-went book shopping with Jay, got to be giant super geeks and make a few cashiers a little uncomfortable

-went and saw 2 movies at the theatre in one night, X-men first class kicked so much ass (McAvoy and Fassbender were so awesome), Hangover 2 was just kinda meh

-got collector cups for X-men Origins

-ate 4 different kinds of hamburger and 5 different kinds of beer

-had my parents visit

-went clothes shopping for the first time in more than a year

-played with a dog

-managed to hit myself in the testicles while trying to punch my brother (not terribly proud of that bit), not happy but it was still a hilarious moment....after I was done writhing in pain

-biked for approximately 4 hours

-cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom

-did laundry

-wrote an angry email

-read about 200 pages of the White Luck Warrior, Akka is still pretty fucking wicked

-rode on a the biggest Ferris wheel I will probably ever ride on, might have seen a chick giving her boyfriend a blowjob on the gondola ahead of us (we're mostly sure)

-had Kate and her mom the landlady visit and show the house, made me miss my housemates

-discovered what the "kidnap list" was, thought about starting my own

Want to know what I did the week before? I watched 2 season of Supernatural online and worked. That was all.

That's me. I don't even have to ask, I know you're all jealous. By golly you should be. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, and that's the way it always should be.