I need to stop drinking and using electronic devices. Like my computer. I did a bad thing today. But apparently I didn't sound drunk. This may not be a good thing as it could just encourage me to do something I should stop.
Vegan "chicken and rice" is just rice. Good marketing though.
I must have seen a bazillion dead animals on the side of the road today. 6 if you like counting. The scariest was groundhog with it's mouth open. It looked like it was still screaming.
Sharks are misunderstood.
Skip this next part if you don't "get" my sense of humor.
You know how they say God kills a kitten every time you masturbate? What if you keep a box of kittens by your bed and you squish one of their brains out out every time you rub one out. Does that make you God? I don't think I know anyone with the balls to find out.
Gowrsh, I do enjoy coming home to a living room full of people. I especially like Manny randomly dropping by at like 11:30 whenever he feels like. Also, the random visit and going to get a beer at Squirrely's to hear about Amy's summer was awesome. I don't care that he wasn't serious about going out. I was drunk and the game was afoot!
That's me. I am now going to read a book. Not because the song told me to, but because I always do before I go to bed.
SpAmmy
I lost a little respect for you when you gave the warning about 'your' kind of humour. The fun is in the surprise, dammit!
ReplyDeleteI also lost a little respect for you when you mentioned that no one you know could squish a kitten's brains out. You're not the man I thought you were.
Are you even a man? You never know with the internet.
Stop now if you don't 'get' my sense of humor.
P.S. I'll still read your blog even though you're not man enough to squish kitten brains.
I like to give fair warning in case my mom creeps my fb and comes across my blog links.
ReplyDeleteAnd kitten brains are squishy and gross.